


somebody who can love me like that

by breakingatthecracks



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: CFO!Sam, Danvers Sisters, Director!Alex, F/F, Hints - SuperCorp, Post-Reign, Sanvers Mention, Six months post-reign
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-05-26 02:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 42,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14990390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakingatthecracks/pseuds/breakingatthecracks
Summary: Sam is back and Alex is there. And that’s all that matters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fic is inspired by Gabrielle Aplin's "Miss You" because I heard it on the way home a couple of nights ago and it has been downhill ever since.

.

Maybe it has been the plan all along: for Sam to become a super-powered killing machine, brought to life by fire to destroy every inch of this planet. After all, she never really had time to figure out who she really is. When you get pregnant at 17, you start defining yourself differently and you tend to stick with that well into adulthood.

So when Reign came in and snatched her body for world destruction, part of it made sense to Sam. Maybe, Ruby’s birth delayed that fate. Maybe, Ruby changed that fate. Whatever it is, whatever you call Reign, Sam has long accepted and reconciled with the fact that yeah, Reign was a part of her.

It doesn’t sting anymore when she thinks of all the pain Reign has caused. But it makes for a painful reminder sometimes. Reign is gone for good but the marks she left in Sam’s life are permanent.

It still terrifies her that Reign will come back and somehow try again to fulfill her mission. Everyone around her reassured her that it’s simply not possible but hey, nobody thought it was possible either for two polar opposite versions of her to exist inside her mind but it happened. When the bad dreams come, Sam would wake up again and again—the way she fought Reign when she was still a part of her.

Or maybe that has been the plan all along: for Sam to realize that it’s possible to slay your demons even if that very same demon is you.

Sam stares at herself in the full-body mirror. This is the best she’s felt in the last six months. Six months since Reign. Six months since National City. She releases a heavy breath as she smoothens out the loose dark green shirt she’s wearing, paired up with tight-fit jeans and a pair of black ankle boots.

Today, she returns to National City—to the life she put on pause. She thinks she’s ready to be Sam again. After all, she can’t run away forever.

A gentle knock on the door distracts her from her thoughts.

“Are you ready?” Eliza Danvers asks, standing by the doorway of Alex and Kara’s childhood bedroom.

She turns to the older woman and smiles, “Yeah, I think so.”

After they defeated Reign, Sam insisted on going away to… _collect herself._ Lena suggested she moved to a different state to start over but Sam thought a permanent move is not on the table. Everyone who fought Reign alongside her are her family now—and there’s nothing else she wants in the world than to surround Ruby with people who will go to massive lengths to make sure she’s okay.

She wanted time to herself to allow herself to heal. But leaving is permanent and healing is a lifelong process, something she knows she can only go through with the help of people who genuinely love her.

After a few rounds of suggestions from everyone, Alex brought up Midvale. _“It’s quiet,”_ she remembers Alex saying. _“I understand that you need time to yourself but it’s good to have a friendly face you know you can trust.”_

Alex smiled reassuringly and something about that calmed Sam down. Kara follows it up with, _“My mom makes a mean clam chowder, I swear.”_ And Sam had laughed because it’s always about food with Kara.

That somehow seals it—both Alex’s reassurance and the clam chowder—and now, it’s been six months of living at Midvale and part of Sam doesn’t want to leave.

Midvale is a quaint town. The people smile to you when you pass by and on Sundays, many people gather at the park by the docks just to sit and enjoy each other’s company. The Danvers’ house is part of a somewhat-elite neighborhood so Sam didn’t really get the chance to get to know any neighbors but Sam finds comfort in that. She’s alone with herself but never really alone. Eliza made sure of that.

“I’m sure Ruby is excited to see you,” Eliza says as she steps inside the room, a kind smile gracing her face.

This woman is an angel. Eliza has become more of a mom to her in six months than her own mother was all her life; except maybe for those few moments in the Dark Valley. Until this day, she’s not sure if that was real or if that’s something her mind tricked her into believing.

“I miss her, too,” Sam nods, thinking about Ruby.

Deciding to go away for a while without Ruby was tough but it needed to be done. She needed time away but she can’t put Ruby’s life on pause. It was sad and it’s the first time they’d ever be away from each other for a long time but her daughter understood. Ruby has been supportive and encouraging, and really, Sam needed this to be her old self again—to become the person Ruby can look up to.

Twice every month, Alex would drive Ruby to Midvale and they would spend a weekend together. They would talk for hours, bond over the simplest of things—and those weekends with Ruby are the main reasons she’d stayed sane.

“Here,” Eliza once again pulls her out from her thoughts as she fishes a phone from her pocket. “You get your phone back.”

Sam manages a small laugh, “Who would’ve thought I could go a day without it?  Let alone six months.”

“Well, at least you know now that it’s possible.”

They’re silent for the briefest of moments until Sam decides to speak up.

“Eliza, I—” a sigh, “I don’t know how to thank you.”

Eliza grabs both of her hands and smiles, “Sam, you don’t need to. You’re always welcome here.”

“I came here with all of that baggage and you’ve been nothing but warm and welcoming, and I am so grateful for that. You have a good heart. I can now understand where Kara and Alex got it.”

“Any friend of my daughters is my friend, and family as well. You and Ruby make a wonderful family, I hope you could make time to come back when you have the time.”

Sam tears up a bit, “Really?”

“I think it’s my turn this year to host our Christmas dinner so, if you don’t have any plans this year, you and Ruby can drive down here and spend the holidays with us.”

“It was always just us.”

“Those days are over. You’ve got us.”

Eliza pulls her in for a hug and Sam hugs her back.

“You better get going,” Eliza says as she pulls apart. “Your ride is waiting.”

“What?” Sam asks in surprise. She was supposed to take the bus back to National City.

Eliza only smiles as she makes her way to the door, “You really think Alex would let you take the bus?”

.

“This is not going to work,” Alex whines, hurling her phone on top of the table in sheer frustration.

She turns to Kara—or Kara’s hologram image, transmitted from Argo City—and her sister just makes a face, “It’s a dating app, Alex. You’re supposed to go left or right. It couldn’t get any simpler than that.”

Ever since Kara and Alura reunited, Kara made it her life’s mission to catch up with everything she missed. Alura preferred to stay in Argo City and Kara preferred to stay on Earth so the only way to keep their relationship working is to make back and forth trips every now and then.

Before Winn left, he and Brainy fixed the portal to make it easier for Kara to travel between Argo City and Earth. Only, this feature of the portal works just once every few weeks since it has to _recharge and repair the dimensional barriers it bypasses every time it is used for space travel._

So, it’s cool, yeah—and Alex is really glad that Kara is able to do that. A side effect of this portal is the ability to transmit signals from both planets. With this, Brainy was able to craft a device that allows live hologram images to be transmitted between the two planets; which explains why Alex is able to talk to Kara right now.

“Maybe, I’m too old for this dating app.”

Kara gasps dramatically, “Alex, are you serious? You’re gorgeous and young, and badass, anyone would want to date you. You’re the one who keeps swiping left even if you think they’re attractive.”

“What if that’s all that person is? Just attractive.”

“You’ll never know if you don’t put yourself out there.”

“Putting myself out there is exhausting,” Alex whines again.

“You know what I think?”

“Here we go.”

“I think that you’re reserved for somebody really, really special.”

Alex snorts, “Did you really just say… _reserved_?”

“I couldn’t think of a word,” Kara defends her choice of words. “But it doesn’t make it any less true, I think there’s somebody out there who will be everything you want and more.”

“And I will find that person in this app?”

“For the record, I’m not the one who said you should use it—”

Both of their eyes widen as they say in unison, “It was Winn!”

They laugh at that.

“That’s why this isn’t working,” Alex says in between laughs.

“You took dating advice from Winn.”

“I did, didn’t I?”

They laugh a bit more at that and then engage in a light topic, something about the fruits that are being sold at the markets in Argo City. It’s always about food with Kara.

Their conversation is interrupted by the beep of Alex’s phone. Alex picks it up and checks the message that just came in. Upon reading the message, she immediately smiles.

Kara only observes for a while but eventually decides to say something, “What is it? You’re beaming.”

Alex laughs, “It’s Ruby. She sent me a childhood picture of Sam she found in one of the albums she found in their attic.”

The older Danvers sister starts typing her response to Ruby so she misses the way Kara’s eyebrows shoot up upon seeing the smile on Alex’s face at the mention of Sam’s name.

“How’s Ruby?”

“Excited,” Sam looks up at the hologram image of her sister. “Sam’s coming home today.”

Just the thought of it makes Alex smile. Sam has been through a lot and she’s just excited to see the woman come back to National City and bounce back from it all. She knew Sam is strong enough to defeat Reign but that is nothing compared to the courage it takes to rise above that—and _God_ , Alex is fascinated at the way Sam has bounced back time and time again.

“Are you gonna go through it?” Kara asks.

“Go through what?”

“The adoption,” the younger Danvers asks. “You said that once Sam is back and Ruby settles back home, you’ll revisit the idea again.”

“Maybe,” Alex breathes.

The thing about learning about yourself late in your adulthood is that there will come a day when you’ll feel like you’ve missed a lot in the past. You went to the wrong date. You read the wrong signs. You fought for a different cause. So sometimes, your brain tells you to speed things up.

You’ve been living your whole life wrong so everytime you think you see an opportunity to compensate for all the wrong turns you did in the past, your brain tells you to go for it. Naturally, Alex had gone for it. She came out. She asked the girl out only to be rejected; only to eventually date said girl. Fall madly in love with said girl. Propose to the girl after a long, difficult day. Some of it turned out well. Some of it have turned into memories that still sting sometimes but if there’s anything Alex has learned about self-discovery is that the process could take all your life.

That learning to love yourself, flaws and all, is a lifetime’s worth of work.

Since she’d taken Ruby under her wings temporarily while Sam is away, Alex schooled herself into slowing down—to trust the process, to be patient with herself. If she’s gonna have a kid, she’s gonna have a kid when it’s right and not when she’s most scared to be alone.

“Earth to Alex,” Kara distracts her from her thoughts.

Alex shakes her head back to the present moment with Kara, “Sorry, I—”

“—was lost in thought, I know,” her sister says with a smile. “Whatever you decide, you know that I love you and I will support you, okay?”

“I know,” Alex nods, smiling warmly back at her sister.

Their moment is broken when Alex realizes what time it is.

“Shit,” Alex mutters under her breath as she stands up.

“What?”

“I gotta go, I have to pick Sam up.”

“Okay, tell Eliza I miss her and Sam, too.”

“See you in nine days?”

“See you, Director Danvers.”

.

As she steps out of the Danvers’ home, she sees Alex’s car waiting by the driveway. It’s a big, full-size RAM pickup truck that looks brand new. This is definitely not one of those DEO-issued trucks. Alex is leaning by the side of the hood, browsing something on her phone. She’s donning that leather jacket look she pulls off so well and it’s when Sam realizes that there’s something about Alex that’s just so… captivating.

“Hey,” Sam breathes.

Alex looks up and instantly smiles, “Hey.”

“How long have you been waiting?” Sam asks, walking toward Alex.

Alex only shrugs.

Sam gives her a look.

“An hour?” Alex answers with a smile.

When she gets to Alex, Sam asks, “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

For some reason, Sam’s heart starts beating so fast.

“We’re not on a rush, it’s fine. I knew you’ll need to time prepare yourself,” the other woman says with a charming nonchalance.

“You didn’t have to pick me up. I could’ve just taken the bus,” she says. She grabs Alex’s hand and just holds it, as if its warmth is anchoring her to safety.

“You’re going home, Sam. I can’t let you go through that alone,” Alex smiles. Alex only straightens up but she doesn’t pull her hand back. Instead, she laces their fingers together. Something about it feels so intimate.

Aside from Ruby, Alex is the only person she’d been in contact with on the regular through the house’s telephone line. She has spoken to Lena on occasion but those have been short as they’ve all agreed to give Sam the space she needs.

Ruby has been staying with Alex for the last six months so them keeping their lines open for each other was kind-of automatic. That doesn’t explain though, when they call each other and spend all night talking on the phone about their day.

After a few moments, Alex pulls her in for a hug. Sam relaxes instantly.

“You got the car,” Sam notes, eyeing the car behind Alex as they pull apart. She knows that Alex has been planning to buy her own car, an upgrade from the motorcycle she loves to drive around. She talked about this pickup for weeks.

Alex smiles, “Yup.” She turns to the car and starts talking to it, “Max, this Sam.” She turns to Sam playfully, “Sam, this is Max.”

Sam lets out a laugh, “Wow, you’re taking to it and you named it.”

The agent shrugs and taps the hood of the car, “Can’t just call it a car. It’s limited edition.”

“You’ve turned into a James and a J’onn when talking about their cars.”

“Can’t help it.”

There’s silence one again but it’s comfortable and nice, and safe. After a few seconds, Eliza appears on the doorway with a large paper bag at hand. She walks toward them with a smile.

“I got you some food for the road,” the older Danvers says, handing Alex the bag.

“We should get going, Mom,” Alex says as she takes the paper bag and goes in for a quick hug with her mother.

Sam turns to Eliza, “Thank you, for everything.”

“You have to stop thanking me at some point,” Eliza says with a smile.

They grab all of Sam’s luggage and loads them in at the back. Moments later, they’re on the road with the windows down as the radio plays a song Sam isn’t even familiar with but that’s fine. Alex is driving. Sam has her feet up on the dashboard.

The cool Midvale breeze brushes past her face and it feels right.

She feels like herself again.

.

“This is… beautiful,” Sam comments, as she stuffs another piece of tofu in her mouth using chopsticks.

Alex only sighs contentedly.

The car is parked by the side of the countryside road, facing a vast, seemingly endless farmland. They’re sitting side-by-side on the bed of the pickup. The sun is setting and the greens of the field are being covered by the orange of the sun. Not a lot of cars are passing through so it’s relatively quiet too, save for the faint sound of whatever string-laden song is playing on the radio inside the car.

“We would always stop by here whenever Kara and I visit Mom,” Alex narrates, remembering about the few times when she and Kara would sit by this spot and just enjoy the view.

“It’s nice.”

“Strangely calming, too.”

They eat in silence, just basking in the view in front of them. The food Eliza prepared is delicious and this whole thing is just perfect. Alex hopes that even just for a moment, this helps Sam forgets about everything.

After a few more minutes of comfortable silence, Sam cleans up her trash and puts it aside. She turns to Alex.

“Alex,” she starts, releasing a breath.

Hearing her name, Alex turns to her. And maybe it’s the serenity of the surroundings or maybe the way the sun highlights Sam face but in that exact moment, Alex’s heart skips a beat. Because Sam is beautiful, not in that supermodel way. Not really.  But in a way that makes you want to know more—like the moon. Like how beautiful it is even if part of it is almost always hidden away.

“I’d like to thank you.”

“Again?”

“Have I been thanking you a lot?”

Alex just nods smilingly.

“I just—I don’t know how I would’ve survived all of this without you.”

Alex sets her food down to properly face Sam, “Sam, this is what friends do, okay? You’ve been through a lot but you survived gracefully. What I’ve been doing? That’s nothing. All of this, it’s you, your strength.”

“Things would be so different if Ruby and I didn’t have you.”

“But you do and I’ll stay in your lives for as long as you want me. That goes the same for Lena, Kara, Winn from the future, and J’onn and James, okay?” Alex reassures her.

“Thank you.”

“There it is again.”

Sam laughs.

“You ready to go home?”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

.

It’s already dark by the time they arrive at the Arias residence.

They’ve spent the four-hour drive just talking about nothing and everything and this drive just set Sam in such a good mood. They’re still laughing at some childhood memory of Sam that involves a roller rink fiasco as they pull over.

“I can’t believe you threw her shoe in the trash bin,” Alex says in between laughs.

“I was so petty, oh my God,” Sam nods laughingly.

Once they’re laughs die down, they both turn their attention to the house.

“Looks like you’re home,” Alex says.

Without tearing her eyes away from the house, “Yeah, looks like it.”

“I should warn you about something,” Alex says with a playful tone.

Sam turns to her, squinting her eyes in playful warning, “What is it?”

“So you know, everyone knows you’re coming home so…”

“Are they inside?”

Alex nods, “Yup.”

Sam nods, “Of course they are.”

“I told them they can’t make it a party so James got some pizza and Lena brought some wine. But it’s not big. It’s just Ruby, Lena, James, and J’onn. Kara would’ve loved to join but you know.”

She nods, understanding where Kara is. Part of being Reign means that she was able to access some secrets she’s sure she wasn’t supposed to know. Being automatically adept about the history of Krypton, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. Kara Zor-El and Kara Danvers are one person which makes Kara Danvers and Supergirl the same person. Sometimes she laughs at herself for not realizing it sooner because the glasses don’t help.

Ruby and Lena still don’t know about it so they’re all going with the story that Kara is in Metropolis, co-writing an expose article with Clark Kent.

Sam smiles warmly, “This is my life now, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, yeah it is.”

“Did they at least get some beer for you?”

Alex scoffs good-naturedly, “Duh.”

Sam just laughs, “Let’s go in.”

Alex nods as she opens the door of the car and hops off.

.

The moment she steps inside, she instantly sees James and Ruby engaged in an intense game of Mario Kart. Lena is cheering on Ruby as J’onn stands by the other side of the room each with a bottle of beer.

Something about this very scene warms her heart.

She has a family now.

It only takes a few seconds before somebody eventually notices their arrival.

“Ruby, your mom’s here,” J’onn calls out.

Ruby immediately turns to Sam with a teary grin on her face as she quickly hands James the controller and runs to her. They hug for what feels like eternity before Ruby looks up, a hopeful smile plastered on her face.

“Are you back now? For good?” she asks.

Sam nods, “Yes, baby. I’m back now, for good.”

Ruby beams and so does everyone.

Sam exchanges welcome back hugs from everyone and she thanks all of them for everything they’ve done for her and Ruby ever since the whole Reign debacle begun. Afterwards, Lena calls everyone in for pizza and as they sit by the small island of the kitchen, Sam feels like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.

She’s silent, just listening to everyone talk about random things, when she feels Alex squeeze her hand from under the table.

“This is good,” she mouths.

Sam nods with a smile. She takes Alex’s hand and laces their fingers together. Sam doesn’t know why she felt the need to hold Alex’s hand, or to not let go. But doing it feels right. At this point, she’s just going with whatever her gut tells her to.

And yeah, this is good.

This is home.

.

It was overall a nice night. It wasn’t an over-the-top _Welcome Back, Sam!_ party but rather a family get-together—a reminder that she’s not alone no matter how many times she tells herself that she is.

Running away from home at the age of 17 messes you up in ways that’s hard to get out of your system. Sam’s been on her own since then, raising a child without any idea how. So to say that letting people in has been a struggle would be a severe understatement.

It’s only when she got to National City that she was reminded how having a family feels like.

It’s half past nine in the evening when everyone starts leaving one-by-one. Sam thanks each and everyone of them but they all just shrugged it up, saying that she has to come to the next game night hosted by Kara—and this is the normalcy that she’s missed.

Alex is the last one to leave. Sam watches Alex give Ruby a hug and tells the kid not to give her mother a hard time. Ruby nods with a smile and tells her she would miss eating cold pizza for breakfast.

Alex laughs, “Don’t let your mom hear that.”

Sam lets out a laugh as she walks to the pair by the door, “Too late. I already heard about the unhealthy breakfast habits you’ve rubbed in on my child.”

Ruby turns to her, “Mom, you know that I love that you’re back but I can still sleep over at Alex some time, right?”

“If it’s okay with Alex, then we’re good.”

Alex pats the top of Ruby’s head, “You’re welcome to come over any time.”

Ruby smiles.

“It’s time to go to bed, baby,” Sam tells Ruby. “It’s way past your bed time.”

The younger Arias nods as she gives her mom a quick hug. She then turns to Alex and gives the agent a quick hug as well. “Good night, Alex,” she then turns to her mom, “Good night, Mom.”

“Good night, honey,” Sam says.

Ruby disappears after a second, skipping to the stairs, humming happily to a song she was singing with Alex earlier that night.

Finally alone again, Sam turns to Alex. She opens her mouth to say something when Alex interrupts her—

“If you’re going to thank me again…”

Sam laughs, “I was going to say, take care on your way home.”

“Right,” Alex nods, slipping her hands on the pockets of her jeans. “I gotta get going now. I have an early morning at work tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I—”

Sam is sure there’s something they want to say. It feels like there are words floating around them. She can see it in Alex’s eyes, that she wants to say something. Sam kinda does, too, but she doesn’t know how to put the words together. Whatever she feels in that moment, she doesn’t have a name for it yet.

“I better go,” Alex says, biting her lower lip as she smiles. There’s a twinkle in her eyes that Sam sees for the first time.

“Yeah,” Sam breathes.

Sam’s heart is beating so fast in that weird, butterflies-in-your-stomach way.

“You’ve thanked us all night, you know but I don’t think I have told you that I’m glad you’re back,” Alex starts. The agent meets her eyes and for a moment, Sam forgets how to breathe. “We missed you,” she says then adds, “ _I_ missed you.”

“I missed you guys, too,” Sam responds, doing whatever she can so keep herself from combusting in pure happiness. “I missed _you_.”

There’s an unspoken agreement now between the two of them, a bubble that only them knows about.

They’re silent for what feels like forever, existing in that bubble. No one is moving or saying anything but that moment feels big; because Sam is back and Alex is there like she always has been. And that’s all that matters.

Sam clears her throat, trying to distract herself from the look in Alex’s eyes because if she doesn’t look away now, she won’t ever be able to. What does this mean? Sam doesn’t know but there’s something there and it may be bigger than anything she’s ready for at this moment. “It’s getting late,” she says.

“Yeah,” Alex smiles as she goes in for a quick hug.

Alex then jogs down the driveway to the truck parked just by the side of the street. Alex waves at Sam one last time before she hops onto the driver’s  side and drives away.

Once Alex’s car is out of sight, Sam closes the door and leans on it as she releases a breath she didn’t realize she has been holding the entire time.

It has been six months since they defeated Reign.

She’s back in National City and Sam can’t help but feel that many things are going to change for the better. She can feel it.

Something good is coming her way.

.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe that’s why they’re friends. But maybe that’s also why it feels more than that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of a school shooting incident. (2) This is a long chapter. You're in for a ride. (3) It was a long night of rum so I only proofread this twice. The second time, I may have done with a bad hangover. So typos are all because of the rum.

.

The obnoxious sound of her alarm wakes her up. Sam groans as she reaches for the clock on her bedside table and shuts it off.

She opens and her eyes and as her eyes adjust to her environment, Sam realizes that she’s back in her own room. In fact, she’s been back in her own room for a week and while sleeping on this expensive mattress has been a delight, part of Sam misses the warmth of Alex and Kara’s room back in Midvale.

She sits up on bed and that’s when it hits her. It’s Monday and it’s her first time back to work at L-Corp.

“God,” she groans once again, reaching for her phone just resting beside the alarm clock.

She sees a couple of messages from Lena (“We missed you at work. But I won’t lie, the paperwork missed you, too.”)

This makes her smile. Sam doesn’t understand why Lena let her keep her job at L-Corp. She’s an _okay_ CFO, just _okay_. She loves her job. She works hard enough. But a boss really has to have a good heart to be kind enough to let her go on a paid _indefinite leave_ for six months.

She punches a quick text to Lena and tells her she’s excited to go back to work—which isn’t a total lie. She does miss work but she’s certainly not looking forward to the looks she’s sure she will get from other employees wondering why their CFO has been MIA for the last six months.

There are a couple of text messages from Alex, wishing her good luck for the day. (“Have a good first day back, Sam. Kara is also sending her well wishes straight from Argo City. She’s still complaining why they don’t have cellphones.”)

She laughs at this. She then sends Alex a quick _thanks_ before she hops off the bed, determined to make a decent breakfast for Ruby and herself.

She’s already prepping the ingredients for pancakes when she realizes that Ruby hasn’t woken up, yet.

“Ruby,” she calls out. “Are you up?”

No response.

“Ruby,” she calls out again, setting the bowl of batter on the table with the intention of going up to Ruby’s room.

Before she fully makes it out of the kitchen, the front door opens and in comes a giggling and sweaty Ruby in her sportswear followed by an equally sweaty Alex.

“Wait, you’re up?” Ruby asks, genuinely puzzled. The girl looks at the clock, “It’s too early.”

Sam puts her hands on her waist, “You were out and you didn’t even leave a note.”

“We went running.”

First of all, since when does Ruby run? But that’s not the point Sam is eager to make.

“I could’ve panicked.”

Alex speaks up, a playfully guilty smile gracing her face, “It’s my fault—”

“No,” Ruby interrupts, which makes Sam raise an eyebrow at her. Ruby quickly latches on, “Sorry for interrupting.”

Alex just gives the kid a sympathetic smile, fully understanding that the girl is now in trouble with her mother. Seeing Sam in full-mom mode is amazing, and different. Alex has to fight off the smile that’s threatening to draw from her lips.

“We were planning to get back before your usual wake-up time and make you breakfast but you already beat us to it,” Ruby explains.

Honestly, Sam isn’t even mad. Soon as she saw Alex, she knew Ruby was safe.

“What’s our first rule about going out?”

“Don’t ever go anywhere without telling you.”

Sam nods, “And the second rule?”

“I’m not allowed to go so far out without you.”

“Slight change of rules,” she says, causing Ruby to look up at her. “You’re allowed to go far out without me _only_ if you’re with Alex.”

Ruby smiles so wide it’s almost blinding. Sam turns her attention to Alex who is mirroring the same smile.

Sam finally cracks a smile, “Next time, leave me a note. You two, okay?”

Both Alex and Ruby nod. Sam smirks, that’ll teach them. Alex releases a sigh of relief.

“You were gonna make me breakfast?” Sam asks, breaking the ice.

“Alex was going to help me,” Ruby states as they all move toward the kitchen.

Sam laughs, “Alex? Alex is going to help you? What—burn the house?”

Alex laughs, lightly punching Sam in the arm, “I was going to consult the Internet.”

Sam just laughs as she resumes with prepping the breakfast. “Ruby, go get ready for school,” she orders, “Breakfast will be ready in a minute.”

“But we were gonna make you breakfast,” Ruby protests.

Sam smiles at her daughter, “I appreciate it, baby. You can do it some other day. This one’s on me.”

“Okay, we’ll make it up to you some other time,” Ruby says as she jogs upstairs. Something about the word ‘ _we’_ warms Sam’s heart.

“Since when does Ruby run?” Sam asks Alex, who has just grabbed a glass of water.

Alex rounds the kitchen island and sits opposite Sam who is busy preparing their breakfast.

“She made me watch one of her soccer matches and asked me if I could help her train. She wanted to be faster,” Alex responds.

“And you know sports because?”

“Hey, I played lacrosse in high school.”

Sam snorts, “Of course, you did.”

“You a have been attacking me,” Alex says laughingly.

“I’m kidding,” she says. “I just—thank you—”

Alex rolls her eyes good naturedly, “Again?”

“No, really,” Sam says, looking up at Alex who’s looking back at her _again_ with that look Sam can’t quite explain. “It means a lot to me, what you’re doing for Ruby.”

Alex shrugs it off, “I’m happy to do it. Ruby is a great kid.”

Sam merely smiles, as silence envelopes them. She wanted to ask why Alex would go all the way to their neighborhood just to run with Ruby but she decides it’s probably time to stop questioning people about their intentions.

This is Alex. Alex is safe.

The silence between them is interrupted when Alex clears her throat.

“I should go,” she says, slipping out of the chair.

“What? No time for breakfast?” she asks, feeling a little pinch in her heart at the thought of Alex leaving. God, she’s a sap.

“I—” Alex seems genuinely surprised at the invitation. “I didn’t wanna interrupt your time together.”

Sam laughs, “Come on, Alex. You’re already here. Join us, please.”

The agent just looks at her, a mild blush coloring her cheeks for some reason.

Alex smiles, nodding as she settles back on her seat, “I mean, you did say I was going to burn your house so…”

Sam laughs, “Not that it wasn’t a real possibility.”

“Well, yeah. Probably,” Alex laughs.

They settle for light conversation all the way through and Sam can’t think of the last time it was this easy with somebody. Probably never.

Sam isn’t scheduled to report for work for at least two more hours so she’s not in a rush. Alex is on the mid-shift at the DEO so they have some time.

Ruby comes down for breakfast fully dressed for school.

The three of them enjoy the breakfast Sam just prepared, talking about Ruby’s training and how she hated it when she first started running. They make an agreement that Sam should join at some point much to Sam’s protests.

The morning goes like that and there’s a voice inside Sam that tells her that she could get used to this.

_This is good, Sam._

She repeats it in her head until her whole body starts believing it.

.

Alex sighs as she steps inside her apartment. Six months of living with Ruby in this house and she’s forgotten how lonely it looks when it’s just her. With Sam’s return a week ago, Ruby already moved back home and Alex can’t help but, once again, get that nagging feeling of wanting a kid.

This feeling doesn’t pull at her anymore as much as it did about six months ago. But she still gets reminders sometimes, especially because Ruby is such a great kid; so much so that Alex sometimes wonders if she’ll ever be half the mother Sam is. Probably not, because Sam is amazing.

Alex double locks her doors as she drops her keys on top of the small chest drawer nearby. Only when she frees one hand does she gets reminded of the item she’s holding with her other hand—a gray lunch bag that Sam handed to her before she left the Arias home.

After the breakfast they all shared earlier that morning, Alex asked if she could take a quick shower before she left and Sam, of course, simply nodded, saying she didn’t need to ask permission. _You’ve taken care of Ruby while I was gone, Alex. I think we’re way past the point where you have to ask for permission to use the bathroom._

Little did Alex know that while she was taking a shower, Sam prepared some packed lunch for her and Ruby, handing it to her when they were all about to leave the house to get on with their day.

_Sam, you didn’t have to._

_No take it. God knows what kind of food you eat at work._

_Thank you._

_Stop it. It’s a make-ahead lunch so I already pre-cooked everything over the weekend and just tossed up additional stuff while you were in the shower._

Sam merely shrugged it off, as if it’s no big deal but truthfully, Alex thinks it’s sweet. And the gesture is so _Sam_ that it actually makes Alex smile just thinking about it.

She sets the lunch bag on top the kitchen bar and fishes her phone from the pocket of her black windbreaker. She punches a text to Sam.

**_Thanks for the lunch. I haven’t had packed lunch in years._ **

She smiles one last time before she sets her phone on top of the table and starts prepping for work. Good thing she’s on the mid-shift at the DEO today. Spending this morning with the Arias girls just set her on such a good mood.

Later when she’s about to leave for work, she grabs the lunch bag and her phone. That’s when she sees the response from Sam.

**_Don’t worry about it. Have a good day at work, Director._ **

Another smile escapes Alex’s lips.

This is going to be a good day.

.

As Sam pulls over the valet parking of the L-Corp main building, the valet quickly jogs up to her to greet her. “It’s nice to have you back, Ms. Arias,” the 20-something employee with dark hair greets her and smiles.

Sam smiles at him as she grabs her bag from the passenger seat and steps out of the vehicle, “Hey, Tom.”

Before she could engage in a small talk with him, Jess—her assistant who is standing by the building’s entrance—waves at her, perfectly getting her attention. “Ms. Arias, we have the executive meeting in 20 minutes. Ms. Luthor told me to give you a brief rundown of everything,” Jess tells her, showing her the stack of paper she’s holding.

“Seems like a long first day back,” Tom remarks.

“Yeah, kinda feels like that,” Sam sighs.

“Good luck today, Ma’am,” he says with a smile.

“Thank you,” she tells him before walking to Jess.

“How intense will this meeting be?” she asks.

“10 being the highest?” Jess gauges as they start making their way to the executive elevators, “This meeting is an 11.”

Sam lets out another sigh, “Okay, start me up.”

They step inside the elevator. Jess taps her identification badge at the elevator sensor and presses the button to the Penthouse. “Let’s start with the acquisition of Alpine Aviation…”

“Oh God.”

.

The truth is, Alex misses being on the field.

Being the Director is awesome. She feels like she is in a position where she could make real change happen, especially with the country’s current climate with alien-related policies. While she reports to the Director of National Intelligence, she has a direct line to the President since DEO is the only government agency that deals with the Earth’s alien visitors. The days are much easier too since she doesn’t have to do field missions anymore, just monitor and command people which, really, is something Alex can do without trying. There hasn’t been a major incident since _Reign_ apart from the growing number of alien _gangs_ formed across National City but this is nothing they can’t handle. As long as the entire alien community stays like this, then Alex can consider every day a good day.

Six months, that’s how long she hasn’t been on the field after many years of field missions. So yeah, she misses it but she understands that she can be more effective playing the role she now holds.

Alex stands in the middle of the Command Ops, looking at the huge monitors in front of her. It’s been a pretty slow day so far.

Apart from their daily monitoring of National City, the DEO is looking at a couple of reports about some reoccurring alien-like incidents in Russia. They’re not sure what it is yet but based from the intelligence reports they’ve gotten lately, they think it’s worth monitoring.

“There’s been an incident at Linfield,” she hears a man’s voice say, as said man approaches the war table.

Alex turns to him. It’s her second in command, Lieutenant Daniel Green, who is basically the new Alex. That nickname stuck with him for a while before they started calling him by his actual name.

Alex was hesitant, at first, to hire somebody who already served in a similar armed force unit under the US government. It’s just that there are many rules of war that don’t apply to hostile aliens, especially when said alien is a superpowered being who can outmuscle and outrun any human agent.

Alex herself is a homegrown DEO talent just like most—if not all—of the field agents here. There are values you learn in training that tell you that while the DEO treats everyone as equals, some rules just simply don’t apply when a dangerous alien is… let’s say stronger and a lot more invincible than Supergirl. Alex knows this by experience.

Lt. Green passed all the screenings with flying colors. He served in the US Navy for 6 years, enlisting right after high school, and then spent four years as a Navy SEAL before deciding to permanently settle down in National City. But more than that, Alex feels that Lt. Green is cutout for the job from a moral standpoint, something that she didn’t see on anybody who applied for the position.

“What happened?” Alex asks.

Brainy, as if on auto-pilot, stands from his desk (Winn’s former desk) and displays live satellite footage of Linfield.

“Another gang war?” she clarifies, squinting at the images she’s seeing on the screen.

“Not just another gang war,” Lt. Green, who is now standing just beside Alex, responds. “Zoom in on that guy,” he instructs Brainy who follows suit.

They zoom in on one of the aliens. He has a human form but his skin is red and he has—

“Spikes, all over his body,” Alex observes. “A Preiorc.”

Lt. Green nods, “He can also—”

Said Preiorc breathes fire to one of the aliens he is in conflict with.

“—do that,” Lt. Green finishes.

Brainy turns to them, “Preiorcs are very temperamental but you cannot fight them with science. Their fire can’t be put out by water or wind. Something that truly defies the most fundamental explanations of the universe. The only way to stop them from breathing fire is to literally close their mouths. A contact solution which may prove to be dangerous because—”

“—their spikes are poisonous to any species that are not their own.”

Alex releases a breath, “Which basically means everyone in that gang war and the surrounding neighborhoods are in danger.”

Both men nod.

“Green, lead a tactical team and get this situation under control.”

Brainy walks to Lt. Green, “There’s something in the armory that will make you happy.”

Lt. Green smiles, “I’m ready.”

God, these two are dorks; and Green, getting all giggly with new ammo just screams that he is indeed the male Alex. Winn would’ve loved working with them both.

Lt. Green and Brainy are already walking out of the Command Ops area when the Lieutenant stops on his tracks and turns to Alex.

“Director—”

Alex raises an eyebrow at him.

“Alex,” he smiles, “The permit from City Hall.”

“What?”

“For the zoning.”

“What about it?”

“It got approved out of a special favor so the judge demands that only the two highest officials of the DEO are allowed to get it.”

“You’re sidelining me for City Hall duty?”

Lt. Green shrugs. Alex thinks Brainy might have chuckled.

Alex rolls her eyes, “Fine.”

So it goes, Alex is on City Hall duty.

You can say her day is quite… uneventful.

.

Three hours later, the meeting is an absolute disaster.

Sam loves her job, don’t get her wrong. But there are days when this job requires a level of patience similar to raising a baby and it’s not even a bouncy, two-year old baby girl. It’s a bunch of egotistical men who have different agenda with all the topics they talked about today.

They come to a debate about a donation Lena wants to make to the city to rehabilitate a 35-year-old cinema. Lena just wanted to make a generous donation in the name of goodwill but the other members of the executive board want something in exchange.

_Rename it to L-Corp Cinema._

_Have the L-Corp logo all around the place, that’ll remind them._

_We should partner with Senator McAvoy and use this for his campaign. That way we can have a seat in the Senate._

“Gentlemen,” Lena calls out, using a tone Sam only hears when she’s talking to men who seem to undermine her as the CEO. She’s barely 25 and already running a Fortune 500 corporation. Imagine how butthurt these men are.

“Let’s park this discussion for next week’s meeting,” Lena says with a certain finality that none of the other board members dared to say anything. She stands and so does Sam and Blake (Lena’s new assistant)—a tall, British-Irish guy in his late 20s whose accent sometimes still confuses the heck out of Sam.

“I will have Samantha lead my team to draw a proposal that works for everyone. We’ll present it on the meeting next week,” Lena finishes, wrapping up the meeting. The CEO doesn’t wait for any response and starts leading the way out of the board room.

On their way back to their floor, Jess appears behind them, as if already taking notes.

“Handle this, Sam,” Lena tells her. Sometimes, she still doesn’t know why Lena trusts her this much.

Sam nods, “Who should I pull in from your team?”

Lena laughs, “You’re my team, Sam. I don’t trust anyone in this office more than I trust you. Involve anybody you think can help you draft a proposal that makes sense.”

They take the executive elevator back to the Penthouse.

“Got it,” she nods, already on her phone, typing an email. She turns to Jess, “Set up a meeting with Alexander Mueller and Eliza Puckett.”

Jess types on her phone viciously, noting to herself, “The CMO, Mr. Mueller and Ms. Puckett, the President of the Community Outreach Division.”

Sam nods just as the elevator dings. They’ve reached the Penthouse. Only two offices are housed in this floor—hers and Lena.

“Lunch?” Lena asks.

“Yup,” Sam nods, “I just need to go through a couple of emails. I’ll see you in thirty,” she says.

“You know you’re not supposed to tell me what to do, right?” Lena says with a laugh.

“You wish,” Sam plays along.

They go opposite ways. Jess follows Sam and Blake follows Lena.

Ever since Sam came back to National City last week, Jess already got her up to speed with all that happened during the time that she was gone. Sam was at home but she already started working her way back, catching up with reports and paperwork.  With the workload that’s piling up, Sam and Lena agreed that sharing an Executive Assistant is no longer an option. So, in comes Blake: three days on the job and already looks like he needs a break. Sometimes, Sam wonders how Jess did it. Lena is a lot to handle.

Before turning the corner, Lena calls out, “Sam?”

Sam and Jess stop on their tracks, “Yeah?”

Lena smiles, “It’s good to have you back.”

.

Alex walks out of the City Hall with an accomplished task at hand. She stares at the brown envelope for a moment, thinking about the disappointment on the judge’s face when it was Alex who walked in on the door and not Agent Green.

The thing is, Agent Green is an attractive man. (Hey, Alex is gay. Not blind.) His body… is _cut_ , like really, _cut_. He was a Navy SEAL. To top that, he’s also an overall okay guy: he’s mostly quiet but he’s so polite and warm. That’s why Alex likes him and she thinks they make a good team.

Her DEO-issued phone beeps and Alex answers the call through the small, almost undetectable headset attached to her hear. She clicks the device—it’s so small that it looks like Alex just poked her ear for no reason. _It’s from the future, Director Danvers, take it_. She recalls Brainy telling her once the new device is rolled out across the organization.

Speak of Brainy.

“Director.”

“What did I tell you?”

“Alex,” he corrects, then clears his throat. “The situation has been resolved. No DEO or civilian casualties but they are bringing in some aliens for questioning. The rather unfriendly Preiorcs are now in custody.”

“That’s good news.”

“Agent Green is on top of it.”

“Great, call me if anything comes up.”

“Got it.”

They hang up and Alex resumes her walk to her bike which is parked by the lot across the street. The City Hall is on the quieter side of the Downtown area so the walk is quite nice. It’s also a beautiful day out so Alex decides that this isn’t a bad day to be on City Hall duty after all.

She was about to hop on her bike when she hears a gunshot from the distance. She visibly flinches. She knows a gunshot when she hears it.

“Fuck,” she mutters another breath.

Another one.

This time, Alex looks around to try to locate where the gunshot is coming from. In the middle of the city, that kind of gunshot can’t be safely random.

Alex was about to call Brainy back to trace where the gunshot came from when another round—a _round_ —of gunshots is heard. This time, even the people around her are startled.

.

Sam is on the final email she intends to respond to before going to lunch with Lena. It’s not just a casual, catch-up lunch but rather a lunch-meeting with no other than Cat Grant who, Sam just learned, is back. She stepped down from her White House post in DC and decided that CatCo is still her home.

It was a no-brainer for Lena to hand the reigns back to Cat. Since CatCo is now a subsidiary of L-Corp, Cat cannot get her CEO title back but being the _President_ is still a title the media mogul is willing to take on. Lena is, technically, her boss but even Sam—and probably Lena, too—would admit that Cat Grant is on a league of her own.

Sam had laughed loudly at the terror in Lena’s face when Cat Grant went, “ _All you are is the person who pays me, I’m still the boss.”_ Lena appreciates a toughness like that. Respects it a lot.

The door to her office opens and in comes Lena. Even without looking up, Sam knows it’s her just by the way her heels hit the carpeted floor of her office.

Sam is buried in her emails so she doesn’t see the frantic expression on her boss’ face.

“I’ll be right there, I just have to—”

“Turn the TV on,” she hears Lena say.

“What?” Sam looks up and that’s only when she realizes that Jess and Blake are also in there.

Jess grabs the remote from the coffee table and turns the television on.

“What’s happening?” Sam asks, a little nervous. She stands from her place behind the desk and walks over to the middle of the room where Lena, Jess, and Blake are.

Jess turns the volume on once she lands on the news channel.

“Multiple reports have come in that Stonewall Elementary is under attack,” the news anchor reports as aerial footage of the school flashes on screen.

“Oh my God,” Sam utters in shock. Part of her is relieved because this isn’t Ruby’s school but… “Isn’t this..”

“Miranda’s daughter studies there,” Lena fills in the blanks of her statement.

Miranda is one of the employees who work at the lab with Lena.

_There are two shooters reported at the scene and the NCPD is working on apprehending the culprits. At this moment, there are no updates yet but multiple eye witnesses from outside the school claim to have heard multiple gunshots. The entire city is asking, “Where is Supergirl?”_

“Back home at Argo City,” Sam whispers to herself.

Jess, who has been on Twitter the entire time, speaks up, “The Guardian just arrived at the scene, it’s on Twitter.”

Lena visibly flinches. Sam sees her release a heavy breath before turning to Blake, “Reschedule the meeting with Cat Grant then get me on the line with whoever owns the building across the school. Get them to use their space to hold these children and their parents in because they can’t flee the scene. I’ll pay for it.” The CEO then turns to Sam, “Call Parker and tell him to deploy additional security. Now. Tell him it’s an order from me.”

“I will,” Sam nods, who turns to Jess and merely nods at her. Jess, _bless her_ , immediately gets it. She gets her phone and hurriedly walks out of Sam’s office. _Hi, this is Jess from the office of Ms. Samantha Arias… Yes, the CFO…_

“I’ll talk to Miranda,” Lena says, releasing a heavy breath. The CEO walks out of the room, followed by Blake.

Sam’s eyes linger on Lena’s retreating figure. She doesn’t know much yet and Lena isn’t telling her a lot but Sam can only guess that she isn’t taking the breakup well. Sam knows that Lena truly liked James. He understood Lena even if they came from totally different backgrounds. Lena would gush about him, the way she never did about anyone before.

She wasn’t there but Alex told her about how James’ _Guardian_ reveal blew up. The entire world now knows that he is the _Guardian_ which puts everyone he loves in danger. Alex told her that Kara had snapped at James. _Did you ever even think about the danger you just put Lena in?_

Because of the time she got to spend with Eliza and Alex, part of Sam understands the risks if ever Supergirl’s identity is revealed. It also doesn’t help that Sam _was_ Reign. If people knew about the Worldkiller’s human identity, that would be a disaster.

Kara’s speech seemed to have worked on James because he decided to end things with Lena. Of course, Lena didn’t want to. _I can take care of myself, James._ But he is a good man and deep down, he knew that Lena didn’t deserve to be put in that kind of danger. She can’t be a Luthor and the Guardian’s girlfriend at the same time. That just spells catastrophe and Sam is somehow thankful that her bestfriend didn’t have to go through that anymore.

Lena will find someone. She will.

“Ms. Arias,” Jess walks back into her office, snapping her out of her thoughts. “Mr. Ryan Parker of L-Corp Security is on Line 2.”

“Got it,” she nods, as she goes back to her des. She picks up her office phone and presses the Line 2 button.

It’s only noon and it’s already been quite a day.

.

Alex doesn’t think twice when she runs toward the school.

It’s merely a block away so she can hear the gunshots, as well as the screams of terror coming from children— _children—_ running out of the school in tears. Something inside Alex snaps.

She charges to the door of the school, plowing against the hoard of children and teachers who are rushing to get out.

She gets inside and looks around. Amid the chaos, she can tell that the whole thing is happening on the other side of the building. By habit, she reaches for her gun and that’s only when she realizes that she doesn’t have one.

Agents aren’t allowed to bring any firearm with them if they’re not on a field mission.

Alex releases a breath. She has a small knife tucked in her boots. That’s gonna have to be enough.

Another round of gunshots.

Alex runs toward it.

.

Two and a half hours later, the situation has been handled. With the teamwork of the NCPD, L-Corp Security, and the Guardian, the shooters have been apprehended: one was killed while the other one was tackled to the ground by the Guardian, knocking him out before he could hurt somebody else.

It’s a sad, sad day for National City as reports of casualties start to come in.

Sam is watching the news while Jess patrols social media. At this point, Sam is making mental notes of possible course of actions their company can take to help out. Miranda’s son is, thankfully, safe. Lena has given the employee the rest of the week off so she can be with her son.

Sam can’t help but tear up at the news reports of casualties, most of which are children.

They’re tuned in on the news channel where the Chief of Police is currently on a press conference.

_The shooters were armed with military grade machine guns. We are investigating and doing our best to get to the bottom of this. It’s a terrible day for our city but I am hopeful that this will begin discussions about expanding our gun control laws._

_We were able to apprehend the attackers with the help of L-Corp Security, the Guardian, and one civilian who charged in there way before the authorities came in. She saved a lot of lives by taking action early, took one of the shooters by herself._

For some reason, this part of the news piqued her interest, “Did you see this on social media, Jess?”

Jess, who is seated by the couch in the middle of Sam’s office is buried in two phones plus a laptop. She nods, “Yes, I picked something up from the Register.”

Sam stands up, a shiver running down her spine. She rounds her desk to approach Jess. A certain kind of dread crawls to her stomach.

She has a bad, bad feeling about this.

“They’re saying the unarmed civilian was in the area when she heard gunshots so she ran inside,” Jess narrates, scrolling down the news report through her phone. “Took one of shooters herself before getting shot at by the other one.”

“Shit,” Sam mutters. “Do they have reports about the civilian’s condition? A name?”

“No. They’re keeping her identity under wraps,” Jess says.

“She’s a hero.”

Jess nods in agreement, “That’s what social media is calling her.”

Sam can’t concentrate. She can’t help but think about this local hero and how brave she is for doing something like that. She tries to ignore that weird feeling in her chest so she decides so go back to her seat and arrange some meetings she knows would be necessary after this horrific event. L-Corp is connected to a lot of NGOs that will surely be active in many campaigns after this.

A few minutes later, her office phone rings.

It’s Lena.

She picks the phone up, “Hey, Lena. I was just going through my email and—”

“It’s Alex,” Lena interrupts from the other line.

And that dread from earlier? That has grown into something else because hearing Alex’s name from Lena in that tone? None of this feels like good news.

“What?” Sam asks, already dreading the answer. Her heart is beating fast. Suddenly, Sam is having trouble breathing.

“That civilian on the news. It’s Alex.”

“Oh.”

The whole world stops for the briefest of seconds.  Suddenly, Sam can’t find the words or the air to breathe. She wants to sprint off running but her mind goes there—to a dark place, to a world without Alex.

“Sam?”

“How did you…”

“James just called me.”

“How bad is it?” she asks, voice trembling. “Is she…”

“We don’t know, Sam.”

“Can I—”

“Go, you know where she is. Let me know once you get anything.”

“Yeah, yeah, I—”

“Sam?”

“Huh?”

“Calm down, okay? It’s gonna be okay,” Lena tells her in that sisterly voice.

Why isn’t Lena panicking? After all, Alex is much of her friend too like she is Sam’s. But Sam doesn’t have time to process this.

“I gotta go, Lena,” she says as she hangs up the call. She stands up quickly and grabs her stuff. “Jess?”

“Yeah?”

“Just… be on top of everything, okay?”

“On it.”

“I have to go.”

She practically runs out of her office.

.

Sam doesn’t break down on the ride to the DEO HQ. Her hands are shaking and her mind is going a mile a minute but her resolve is intact. That’s until the building’s security refused to let her in.

“I have to get in there. I am a friend of Director Danvers,” she insists but the security has an iron grip on her wrists, keeping her from charging through the doors and up the DEO infirmary.

She knows this building by heart, having been contained in this place multiple times.

“You do not have clearance,” the uniformed officer says, his voice deep with warning. She knows that if she insists further, he would call backup.

She tried calling J’onn or James but none of them are picking up.

“Look,” she starts, pulling her arm back from the officer’s firm hold. She’s caused a scene now as two more officers approach them.

In that moment, something possesses her: an invigorating amount of courage and stress, that she’s able to look the officer in the eyes. She points a finger at him, “What you will do is call the Command Ops upstairs and tell them Samantha Arias is here and what will happen is they will tell you to let me in because I swear to you, officer. My friend is hurt… and I will cry any minute now, so please.”

Sam doesn’t know what the officer sees in her eyes that makes him pick up his radio. He walks away a couple of feet from Sam as the two officers who have just arrived watch her every move. A couple of moments later, the officer from earlier comes back with—just as Sam expected—an apologetic look on his face.

“I apologize, Ms. Arias,” he says.

Sam’s resolve breaks and she feels tears well in her eyes, “Just let me in, please.”

He nods at the two officers who then escorts her to the infirmary.

.

As she takes the long walk from the elevators to the sickbay, Sam feels different. It does feel different walking these halls now that she’s no longer a subject at the lab. It feels foreign, like a faraway memory of a different time.

One thing that doesn’t make sense at all about the DEO is how… or why… everything is made of glass. For a top-secret government agency housed right in the middle of the city and _disguised_ as an FBI Field Office, the DEO sure has a different set of definitions for the word _privacy_.

This time though, these glass walls are a gift from the heavens above because from her spot in the hallway, she could see Brainy, J’onn, and James all huddled around a very much alive Alex Danvers. The scene stops Sam on her tracks, relief washing over her like a tsunami.

Suddenly, her whole world is turning again; as if Alex was the key to it not crumbling down.

She could see Alex, donning a hospital gown with gauze covering the right side of her forehead. Sam could see Alex’s heavily bandaged upper right arm. She looks beaten but she’s alive.

Sam takes small steps toward the door of the room they’re all in. She didn’t want to invade a moment. After all, these people are Alex’s family. She stops right before the—useless—door of the room; just close enough to hear J’onn in the middle of an impassioned lecture.

“I told you, DEO cannot meddle with incidents like that,” the former DEO Director says. It’s so refreshing to see J’onn wearing _normal people_ clothes, as what Ruby calls it.

“What was I supposed to do?” Alex argues. Sam smiles affectionately despite the situation, Alex is so stubborn. She’s still Alex.

He gives Alex a look, “Non-alien attacks are not under your jurisdiction, _Director_ Danvers.”

“You think I don’t know that? I went in there, fully aware that I’m acting as a civilian and not as a federal agent.”

“You are not just an agent, Alex. You are leading this organization. I hope you know exactly what to say because Legal is going to want to hear from you.”

Brainy clears his throat, “If my calculations are right, looking at the energy being shared in this room, I would say that what J’onn means to say is you could’ve gotten seriously hurt. You could’ve at least called for back-up.”

Alex sighs in frustration, “I didn’t have time and like what you said, it’s not under the DEO’s jurisdiction—”

“We could’ve still come,” J’onn says, his voice finally softening a bit. “If you called, I would’ve been there.”

“I—” Alex is speechless, obviously touched.

“Get some rest, Alex,” James says with a smile. “We’re glad you’re okay.”

“No! I have some reports and leads I want to talk to you about, I—"

Ever so stubborn, Alex tries to stand up which only makes her wince in pain.

“Alex, no!” James tries to stop her.

“I really need to—” Alex insists, again trying to stand up even if it’s obviously very painful for her.

“Alex, stop it,” Sam finally speaks up and Alex immediately stops.

Everyone in the room turns to her as she walks inside, giving Alex a scolding glare. The agent rests back down as instructed.

“She listens to you,” Brainy observes, looking at Alex in sheer wonder. “I didn’t think she is capable of ever listening to anyone.”

“With that tone, I’d listen to you, too,” James says with a smile to which Sam responds to with a friendly nod.

“We’ll leave you two,” J’onn says as the trio walks out of the room.

Once the three disappear, Alex lifts her uninjured arm up to give Sam a small wave, “Hi.”

“Hi,” Sam breathes.

There’s that feeling in her stomach again. Looking into Alex’s eyes, Sam feels alive and scared, and altogether infuriated because—

“What were you thinking, Alex?” she asks, voice breaking mid-sentence as tears well in her eyes.

Alex immediately tries to get up in an attempt to console her—

“Stop moving, oh my God,” Sam warns her. Alex obeys and backs down, a guilty look painting her face.

Sam pulls a chair and sets it close to the bed. Sam isn’t thinking, not really, when she reaches out and holds Alex’s hand just to make sure that she’s there. She squeezes the agent’s hand as if holding something solid tightens her grip on reality.

Alex is okay. She’s alive. She did not lose her.

“I just—” Alex says, clasping Sam’s hand back. “It’s what I do.”

“I know.”

Silence embraces them for a while, with Sam just absently stroking Alex’s hand with her thumb—a calm, soothing pattern that seems to work on Alex.

“I’m sorry I got you worried,” Alex says after a few moments.

Sam looks up at her, “You know when I heard from the news that there was an unarmed civilian who just ran in there to fight the attackers, part of me knew that it was you. Because that’s.. that’s who you are.”

Alex only listens.

“Then, Lena called my office line and said it was you and I just—” Sam lets out a rushed, heavy breath. “I imagined you were gone.”

“Sam…”

“And I couldn’t breathe,” Sam continues, her tears free-falling in an instant. “Alex, we can’t lose you, okay?”

Alex gives Sam a warm smile, “You really think I couldn’t take ‘em down?”

Sam laughs, effectively lifting some of those heavy feelings off her chest, “What a smug.” She laughs it off, wiping the tears off her face.

Alex laughs, too, and that’s only when Sam notices the cuts on her face. The agent must have noticed Sam staring because she stops laughing altogether and starts gesturing to her face, “You could say I got beat up.”

“Oh yeah?” Sam prods laughingly.

“You should’ve seen the other guy, though.”

“I heard on the news, you took him down yourself.”

“And then the other one shot me,” Alex adds, tilting her head toward the general direction of her right upper arm. “But I got lucky, the bullet merely grazed me.”

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Sam says, once again overwhelmed with emotions. She looks down at their joined hands, reminding herself to breathe. That Alex is here and that’s all that matters.

“Sam, look at me,” Alex calls out.

Sam looks up and sees Alex searching her eyes.

“You won’t lose me, okay? Not if I have anything to say about it,” Alex tells her and it sounds like a promise.

She doesn’t know why this moment, like many of their moments, feels so intimate. It feels like there’s something between them that they can’t put a name on. A connection maybe, forged in six months worth of recovery.

Maybe they have a lot in common—they’ve pushed similar boulders up a hill when they’ve been given so much responsibility at a young age; maybe similar fears of opening up but also fears of being alone; similar perpetual habits of waiting for the next bad thing to happen because everytime they’ve given themselves a chance to be happy, something bad always comes along.

Maybe that’s why they’re friends. But maybe that’s also why it feels more than that.

Just as the thought washes over her, Sam pushes it back so far deep into her mind. Alex is safe. Alex is here. And that’s all that matters.

Sam’s thoughts are interrupted when Alex asks, “How was your day?”

Sam chuckles, “You just got shot and you’re asking me about _my_ day?”

“What?” Alex shrugs. “I’ve been shot at more times that I can count. You,” she pauses for emphasis, “don’t get to have a second first day on the same job. Tell me about it.”

Sam laughs, “Maybe tomorrow. You need to rest.”

Alex merely rolls her eyes.

“Did they say how long they’re keeping you here?”

Alex frowns, “Two days.”

Sam actually laughs, “Oh you’re gonna hate the next two days.”

“You don’t get to laugh at me.”

“Get some rest, Director Danvers,” she says with final squeeze on Alex’s hand. She stands up, “I’ll wrap some things up at the office. I’ll come back tonight.”

“What? Why?”

“You can’t be alone here.”

“Sam, you don’t have to—”

“Alex,” Sam looks at her with such care and warmth and for a moment, Alex gets lost in her eyes. “I’m coming back tonight so somebody can look after you, okay?”

“I can take care—”

Sam only looks at her as if this is not up for debate.

Alex concedes, “Fine.”

Sam smiles, glad that Alex stopped arguing. What Sam does next is something she didn’t even realize she was doing until it’s over. She leans down at Alex and places a kiss on her cheek. Sam wanted to be sorry, possibly for invading Alex’s personal space but the agent didn’t seem to mind it. Instead she’s blushing, almost bashful. So Sam mentally stops herself from freaking out, “Get some rest, Director.”

Alex smiles, “Maybe don’t tell Ruby about this? She’s gonna worry.”

Sam nods, “What will I say if she asked about you?”

“I’ll see her on the weekend. The bruises on my face would’ve healed by then.”

“Okay. I gotta go but I’ll see you later. I’ll have to call Ruby’s baby sitter.”

“Bye, Sam.”

“Bye.”

Sam turns her back on Alex and starts walking out of the room. Before she is gone, Alex calls out, “Sam.”

Sam turns to her, “Yeah?”

“Did you really tell the guard downstairs that you’ll cry if they didn’t let you in?”

Sam laughs, “Shut up, Alex.”

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realized i promoted by sideblog in the previous chapter and some of you may have already seen it before i got the chance to change it. but you know: emilystarkk on tumblr is the place to cry agentreign tears


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scary thing is… falling feels like flying, until you find nobody there to catch you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter ahead.

.

Exactly two days later, Kara is marching into Alex’s apartment with a scowl on her face that Sam’s never quite seen before.

“Alex, what were you thinking?” Kara asks angrily, almost forcing the door out of its hinges.

Alex is sitting by the couch in her living room while Sam is preparing brunch. Sam thinks Alex is used to Kara storming in like this. She didn’t even flinch once.

“What? No, ‘H _ey Alex’_?” Alex tries to delay the inevitable lecture from her sister.

“You cannot do stuff like that! You cannot just march into a situation like that!” Kara starts pacing in front of Alex. The Super turns momentarily to Sam, her voice softening a little, “Hey, Sam.”

“Hey, Kara,” Sam greets, an amused smile gracing her face.

Kara turns back to Alex, “You can’t just risk your life like that when I’m not here.”

Alex just listens as Sam observes the two sisters. Staying with Eliza for a few months gave Sam a lot of insights about the relationship of those two. Sam knows nothing’s gonna come between them. She wondered, from time to time, how it feels to have a family like that.

“Kara, I survived it. I’m fine, you can save me the lecture,” Alex argues calmly.

Kara stops pacing, turning to her sister and altogether softens in an instant, “Alex, I know you decide on these things in a millisecond. You would jump in the line of fire for somebody else which makes you brave and honorable, and admirable but Alex, whatever happens after that—if you’re KIA, that happens to us.”

Alex merely looks away. That stubborn and tough Alex from earlier is gone.

For a moment there, Sam feels like she’s invading a moment.

Kara releases a heavy sigh as she takes the seat next to Alex, “I’m not saying you should stop doing what you do. You’re brilliant at this job, Alex. But you can do more alive—and able—that you can if you’re hurt or dead. I feel like I’ve told you this twenty thousand times. All I’m saying is you can’t do that without me there or J’onn, or James. You have to give me a chance to save you while you’re saving others.”

Alex nods, her lips quivering a bit, trying to repress the emotions that’s crashing down on her.

“I love you, Alex. You’re my family and I will never let you get hurt if I have anything to say about it,” Kara says, as she hugs Alex. Sam could see Alex relaxing to the touch. The scene in front her makes her smile.

“I love you, too,” Alex only says, letting a smile escape her lips. “You’re so dramatic,” she laughs.

This makes Kara laugh as well, pulling away from Alex, “Now Sam knows what kind of sap you are.”

Sam only laughs as she walks over and starts setting the table. “I won’t tell anyone,” she winks at Alex.

Kara laughs and then in an instant, the smell of food hits her. “Wow, there’s real food in your house,” she tells Alex as she stands and then superspeeds to the table. Sam can’t say she’s surprised to see Kara openly use her powers in front of her but part of her actually finds it cool.

Another part of her reminds her of a certain dark period of time in her life. That part still haunts her from time to time but she’s getting better and better at managing her reactions to it.

“Do you have room for one more?” Kara grins at Sam. “This looks delicious.”

Sam nods, “Of course.”

Kara’s grin widens as she grabs a seat.

“Hey,” Alex calls out, rising from the couch and heading over to the dining table. Her movements are calculated. She’s still healing but it’s not as bad as it was two days ago. “She prepared that for me. I’m the patient here.”

“There’s enough for both of you, _kids_ ,” Sam says with a smile. She pulls a chair just as Alex was approaching the table. “Come on,” she calls in, gesturing Alex to sit.

“I can pull my own chair,” Alex argues but still takes the chair Sam pulled for her.

“I know,” Sam nods. “But I can do that, too.”

Kara just watches the two while eating the breakfast Sam prepared. It’s like a dance. Sam grabs the pitcher of orange juice and fills Alex’s glass. She gets ahold of the plate of hashbrown and hands it Alex, who serves herself a piece. Sam then moves back to the kitchen where she gets another plateful of food and places it on top of the table.

At the back of her mind, Kara wonders how long they’ve been doing this dance. She thinks it’s nice to see Alex letting somebody else take care of her.

“And my work here is done,” Sam announces, a satisfied smile appears on her face.

That’s only when Kara realizes that she’s already dressed for work.

“Wait, you’re not even gonna eat?” Alex asks, a tad disappointed that Sam can’t join them for the rest of the morning.

“You know I can’t,” Sam smiles.

The brunette then proceeds to telling Kara how they’ve managed Alex’s life post-injury. Alex was ordered to stay at the infirmary for two days before she was allowed to go home. Turns out the bruises on her face and the gunshot wound on her arm is just some of the many hits Alex took. Sam doesn’t know what really happened there or how he took the guy down but she only guesses it might have taken Alex a lot to survive.

She was discharged last night and is spending two more days at home before she can be cleared to go back to work. The last two days, Sam would drop by _daily_ at the DEO to make sure she’s eating properly. The CFO rescheduled all her morning meetings so she can make sure Alex is being taken care of properly. Alex is pretty sure the brunette managed to scare the DEO nurses in the two days Alex was there.

“I keep telling her she didn’t need to,” Alex states but there’s nothing in her voice that indicates that she doesn’t really want Sam to do it. Something that Kara makes a mental note off. She hasn’t seen Alex this carefree since…

_Maggie._

“It’s fine,” Sam says with a smile. “I don’t mind,” she tells Alex, giving her arm a squeeze before she turns to the kitchen bar where two lunch bags are ready just beside her work handbag.

“What about Ruby?” Kara asks.

“I already got her breakfast prepared and she’s been taking the bus since the school year started.”

“She doesn’t want you taking her to school anymore, huh?” Kara inquires.

Alex laughs as Sam shakes her head smilingly—as if there’s an inside joke between them that only them know about.

Sam grabs her bag and one of the lunch bags, “She doesn’t hate me driving her to school. She hates that I’m driving her to school in _that_ car.”

“It’s not just a car. It’s a Cadillac, Sam,” Alex adds.

“What?” Kara reacts.

Sam rolls her eyes affectionately, “Children talk.”

“Wow, I miss middle school.”

“You never went to middle school.”

“We had a similar middle school system in Krypton,” Kara argues.

Sam only laughs because it seems like the Danvers sisters’ friendly argument is in full swing again.

“Anyway, I gotta go. I have to drop off Ruby’s lunch at school.”

“I’ll do it!” Kara volunteers.

Both Sam and Alex’s eyes widen at Kara’s suggestion.

“What?” the Super shrugs. “I may not have a Cadillac but I can superspeed there as Kara Danvers, the reporter.”

“No middle schooler knows who Kara Danvers is.”

“Exactly,” Kara beams. “Also I’ve never used my speed to deliver a middle schooler’s lunch so I’m doing the Lord’s work here. You could go to work early.”

“Are you sure?” Sam can barely contain her smile. “I wouldn’t impose but Ruby would love that. She looks up to you, Kara Danvers, the reporter. The slightly nerdier aunt.”

Kara nods, “Leave it to me. I’m not gonna eat it, I swear.”

Sam and Alex both laugh.

Sam puts the lunch bag back on the kitchen bar, “Thank you.”

“You’ve been taking care of Alex. It’s the least that I can do.”

Sam smiles, touched.

“Go to work, Wonder Woman,” Kara tells Sam. “I’ll get Ruby’s number from Alex so I can text her once I’m at the gate. Or I can fly straight into the window of her classroom.”

“The text message will do,” Sam laughs. She then turns to Alex, “Your lunch is here.” She gestures to the other lunch bag, “Slow down today, okay? I put it in a bag just in case you insist on going to the DEO to do some _light work_.” She gestures sarcastically at the last two words, knowing full well Alex will do the exact opposite of _light_. “Just remember, you’re not cleared yet. I better not get that call from your doctor.”

At this point, Kara just observes again. There is something in the air that she can’t quite put a finger on.

“My God, woman. I’m just gonna stay in all day, don’t worry. Thanks, Sam,” Alex smiles.

Sam walks over to Alex and kisses the top of her head, “Have a good day pretending you’re not itching to go back to work.”

“Ha! Have a good day at work, bye.”

Both engulfed in each other’s presence, they both miss the way Kara’s eyes widen at the gesture. _When did that start to happen?_

Sam turns to Kara, “Thanks again, Kara.”

Kara only smiles and gives Sam a small wave.

In a matter of moments, Sam is out the door. The Danvers sisters just continue with their breakfast. Silence settles for a while before Kara decides to speak up.

“So Sam’s been over a lot, huh?” Kara tries.

Alex doesn’t even look up, like this is all just normal to her, “She’s been so nice.”

 _Nice_ is one word to describe it.

“She is,” Kara agrees.

They talk about other stuff after that but as Alex tells Kara the story of how she attacked the school shooter, the younger Danvers sister just observes. Alex is glowing. There are traces of bruises on her face but her smile reaches her eyes and there’s an aura of lightness that surrounds her now. Kara has never seen her sister quite like this. Never.

Something is happening in her sister’s life. Something’s changing—a certain dynamic. She thinks she knows what it is.

The trouble is, Kara isn’t sure if Alex does.

.

Weeks pass swiftly after that.

Alex recovers fast. Back when she was still a field agent, Alex and _recovery_ never quite got along well. After a severe injury, she’d take a day off or two and then she’s back on her feet, moving around the DEO to help in any capacity that she can. Even with J’onn telling her to rest, she would still come to work and insist to do absolutely anything just to avoid sitting at home and die of boredom. _You don’t know how to relax._ That’s what Winn told her once.

This one is different for two reasons.

One reason is: being the Director, she’s allowed to stay in and not do field work. This means she had time to actually _slow down_ at work. She would bark orders around which, in itself, is quite stressful but it’s nothing compared to running around the city when the bruises on your ribs are just starting to heal. Leading a government agency sure has its perks.

The other reason and quite frankly the main reason is _Sam_. Sam has been so thoughtful and caring, and overall awesome in taking care of her. She makes sure that Alex eats well. She checks in from time to time, never failing to remind her to slow down—that she has bruises that need to heal for her to become fully capable of defending the city should another terror arise. It’s not even just about the gestures, Alex thinks. Sure, breakfasts and dinners are nice (and tasty) and Alex truly appreciates the packed lunch. She adores how Sam just manages to drop by at her apartment to check in from time to time. But it’s the earnest, genuine concern that Alex can’t help but admire and truly be grateful for.

She can see it in the way Sam looks at her. She can hear it Sam’s voice when they talk on the phone—that woman cares for her and that is something even the stubborn and proud part of Alex cannot deny.

Sam is a great friend.

_That’s what friends do, right?_

It also doesn’t help that on top of being so gentle and caring, Sam is also absolutely terrifying. One look and Sam can get Alex to do whatever she says. _Do not stay up late at work. Eat your lunch on time. Stop sending Ruby memes during school hours._

She even told Brainy to recite to Alex the entire Table of Elements whenever she insists on joining the field team’s bi-weekly shoot-out training. Brainy followed suit because he’s also terrified of Sam. He recited it to her for 30 minutes straight until Alex gave up and just decided to sit it out.

Of course, she still sends Ruby the memes but she and Ruby already agreed of keeping their meme-exchange a secret. Alex surely won’t hear the end of it if Sam finds out.

“Director Danvers, can you hear me clearly?”

Alex snaps out of her thoughts.

“Yes,” she nods as she sits up straight.

She’s insider her office at the DEO. Alex doesn’t usually spend time here because this office is located underground, beneath the entire DEO building. It’s a bunker, practically the safest place in this building. But all the action is happening upstairs so that’s where Alex always wants to be.

However, there are certain meetings she can only do here. Like this meeting she’s having today with—

“The President of the United States is broadcasting via a secure line,” the voice from the other side of the screen says.

She has a video conference with the Olivia Marsdin, the President of the United States. You know, no big deal.

Just as the screen in front of Alex reveals the President, Supergirl comes flying in and squeezes herself in just beside Alex.

“Am I late?” Supergirl asks right away. “I’m sorry Madam President, I was saving a cat from a tree and the children wanted to take pictures with me.”

The President smiles.

“You were just in time, Supergirl.”

“Great. What are we going to discuss?” the Super follows up as she grabs a chair and pulls it next to Alex.

Alex hands Supergirl a folder, marked with that _Confidential_ stamp that Alex is now so familiar with, “This is the intel we got from CIA about the mysterious alien activity that started in Siberia about six months ago.”

Supergirl takes the folder and quickly browses through it. After a few moments, she looks up first at Alex and then at the President, “An alien military weapon?”

The President nods, “We’re not certain at this time what this military weapon is but based on the reports and its consistencies with your home country’s people and technology, we have reason to believe that it is from Krypton.”

Supergirl shuffles through the reports again and sees photos where various Kryptonese writings are found in very strange places: on a wall, on a military tank, and one that is burnt on snow.

“These are signs from an ancient Kryptonese writing system. They only found these in caves. Nobody could decipher them,” Supergirl states.

“We searched through all of the database that we have and didn’t find anything,” Alex discussed.

“I understand,” the President nods. “We cannot rest until we find out for sure what this means. Any weaponized alien, people, or technology, is our concern. We do not want their military to have that kinda power. We are not exactly allies.”

“What are our orders?” Alex asks.

“You stand down for now but keep monitoring the airspace for anything that might give us more information. I’ve taken this case off the CIA and I am now giving you the full authority and responsibility to handle this.”

Alex nods, “We’re going to do the best that we can.”

“Japan is hosting a peace summit next week,” the President states.

“The Global Visionary Leaders’ Summit,” Supergirl adds.

“I managed to get a sit-down with President Demien Pavlov, I want you to be there in that meeting Director Danvers and you as well, Supergirl.”

Both Alex and Supergirl just stare at the screen, speechless.

“I want them to know that we’re serious about the issue of using alien weaponry in military systems.”

Alex clears her throat, “Due respect, Madam President but I think putting you and Supergirl at the same time in a place where we have a threat of alien weaponry that we don’t know about,” a pause, “it sounds too dangerous.”

“I understand your reservations, Director Danvers, but Supergirl is an icon, a global symbol of peace and hope. America could’ve used Supergirl and weaponized her for war but we didn’t and we won’t. I’m hoping Pavlov sees that.”

Alex turns to her sister, “What do you think?”

Supergirl nods, “Let’s do it.”

The President gives them a sly smile, “You’ll hear from my staff in the next couple of days.”

“Great to talk to you, Madam President.”

“You too, Director Danvers, Supergirl.”

After a few moments, video call ends, leaving Alex and Supergirl staring at their reflection on the screen.

“I don’t have a good feeling about this, Kara.”

“Neither do I.”

They both stand up and walk toward the door both with the intention to go back to the Command Ops.

“Do you think she’ll just tell me to fly to Japan or will I get to experience the Air Force One?”

Alex laughs.

“What?”

“You are such a fan girl.”

“I’m sure you’ll be in that plane with her. It would be rude to just tell me to fly to Japan,” Supergirl ponders.

Alex just laughs again.

They reach the elevator and Alex immediately hits the _Up_ button. Well, it’s the only button because she’s literally at the bottom of the building. The elevator opens quickly and they step inside in sync.

“By the way, rain check on girls’ night tonight.”

Alex turns to Kara, disappointment obvious in her face. She was looking forward to girls’ night because they haven’t had one in _months_. “Why?” she asks.

She can’t help but think of Sam. She hasn’t had girls’ night since she returned from Midvale. Alex thinks she needs this, too. Also, her mind somehow always drifts to Sam no matter what the topic is. But hey, totally normal, right?

“Lena is stuck at the lab and Sam is working late,” Supergirl tells her. The elevator dings as the doors slide open. They’re at the Command Ops floor. “I’ll reschedule next week,” she finishes before she hears Brainy’s voice through her earpiece.

“Supergirl, armed robbery at a bank in Larton. Your favorites.”

“The Kahloans.”

“Yup.”

“Ugh.”

She superspeeds out of the elevator and out of the building.

“Keep me updated, Brainy.”

“Sure will, Director.”

The line goes dead after that as Alex walks toward the balcony and grabs her personal phone from her pocket. She dials Sam’s number.

She really doesn’t have an explanation why.

_Hi, this is Sam. Sorry, I can’t talk right now. Leave a message and I’ll get back to you the soonest._

Just hearing Sam’s voice makes Alex smile. _God._

Well, her night is suddenly free and she has absolutely no idea what to do.

 _Have some fun, Alex._ She hears Lena’s voice in her head. God, she has to find new friends.

She scrolls through her phone again and dials a number she knows by heart.

It takes one ring.

“Hey, I’m dropping by tonight—“

.

On days like this, Sam wonders why she agreed on ever taking this job.

Lena told her it isn’t gonna be easy and really, Sam understands that. The average age of CFOs around the world is 45. She’s 30. Just by that set of statistics alone, it’s easy to say Sam is 15 years underprepared for the job.

She didn’t turn down the job because _who the fuck_ turns down an opportunity like that?

When L-Corp acquired the company she previously worked for, she was already a junior VP. Granted, it’s not as big of a company as L-Corp but it was an Executive post. It was something that sealed the deal for Lena to fully trust her with the CFO job. Well that, and the MBA she has under belt.

She doesn’t talk about it much, nor does she ever brag about it, but Sam knows that she’s smart. She’s wise beyond her years and she can only agree because maybe having to raise a kid on your own when you’ve just turned 18 does that to you. Lena tells her she grew up fast.

Sam sometimes feels she hasn’t grown up a lot yet.

She’s smart and charming, and she’s damn good at her job, that’s why it doesn’t make sense why she can’t come up with a decent proposal for the deal to push through.

Alpine Aviation is one of the biggest cargo airline companies in the country. Due to major PR nightmares in the last three years, their stock market shares plummeted until the only way to save them was through an acquisition.  

The financial situation is bad, that’s why their former owners insist on downsizing the company which means they’ll be laying off about 500 people—most of which are employees who’ve spent decades working for the company. This is not a deal Sam is willing to take, nor will Lena ever agree. So now she has to put together a financial solution that secures the company’s profits over the next five years without letting people go.

They’ve had four revisions on the contract but nothing seems to please these guys.

She sighs for what feels the nth time as she hopelessly slumps back on her seat, staring blankly at her laptop screen. Tons of reports cover her entire table.

It’s 10:17, her clock suggests. She’s been here since 8AM this morning. To say that she’s _exhausted_ is a severe understatement.

It was supposed to be _girls’ night_ at Kara’s place tonight but whatever plan she had in mind went down the drain soon as the owners of the company started throwing tantrums via email. She was really looking forward to it. It’s her first night with friends since she came back but you really can’t tell with jobs like this.

She slumps back on her seat, staring blankly into the bright screen of her laptop. Why can’t she figure this shit out? There’s a solution somewhere, she knows it.

Her thoughts are interrupted when her personal phone rings.

She wouldn’t usually take phone calls when she’s working like this but seeing the caller’s name on her screen just made her pick it up thoughtlessly, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“Hey Alex,” she opens.

“Hey,” Alex says from the other line, voice laced with an intended silliness to it.

“Is everything okay?”

“It is, but when did your security stop giving me a free pass to the executive elevators?”

For a reason still unknown to Sam, her heart skips a beat at the thought that Alex is in the building.

“What?” she clarifies.

Alex laughs, “I’m down here at the lobby, being held up by this guy—who I’m sure is just doing his job—but could you please call security? I already told the guy I know the CFO, which is like, a true badass thing to say.”

This makes Sam laugh.

“I brought dinner. I won’t take you away from your spreadsheets for a long time, I promise.”

Again, Sam laughs, “Okay, drama queen. Let me make a call.”

“Thanks, Sam!”

Soon as they hang up, Sam grabs her office phone and dials the extension number of their building security. She tells them to allow Alex access to the executive elevators.

.

In a few minutes, she hears her office door creak open as Alex appears, a smile immediately gracing her lips. Sam chuckles as she stands up, rounding her desk to meet Alex in the middle of the room. Alex has in her hand two paper bags of what Sam can only assume as food.

Alex looks around Sam’s office and the CFO suddenly feels like she’s being exposed. “You know, I always thought you were kind-of a big deal around here but seeing your office just confirms it,” Alex says as she walks over to the coffee table and sets the paper bags.

Like on cue, Alex spreads her arms to her sides, inviting Sam for a hug; to which Sam immediately settles into. It’s like a dance they’ve been doing for so long. Alex doesn’t know when it started, only that seemingly intimate things like this have been pretty much automatic for them.

“I’m sorry I bailed on girls’ night,” Sam apologizes as they take a seat on the large couch.

Alex shrugs, “Lena bailed, too. And then Kara had a run in with some rogue aliens so here we are.”

“Not that I don’t appreciate it but you really didn’t have to, you know,” Sam says, eyeing the bags on top of the small table.

Alex shakes her head, dismissing Sam’s notion of hassle. The agent reaches for the bags and starts taking out food. “You know Pablo’s?”

The aroma of the food instantly hits Sam’s senses and she can’t deny how good that smells. “Down at Wharf Street?”

Alex nods, still busy with the food, “I was going to spend some time there since you girls bailed. I mean, getting a table there is hard enough. I had to call in and use the _I-saved-your-life-once_ card.”

Sam laughs, “Wow.”

“Then I thought you’d be here and you’d totally skip dinner so I got you the best burrito in the world. Not even sorry to ambush you like this.”

The CFO turns her head and stares at her messy desk full of spreadsheets, the light from her laptop illuminating the area. She sighs, “You know what—” Sam grabs one of the burritos wrapped in foil and starts undoing the seal. “I’m not getting anything done anyway, so whatever—”

Alex just nods approvingly and starts with her food as well.

.

What was supposed to be a quick dinner turned into almost an hour of just talking about random things. They’re done with dinner and at some point, Sam was able to get herself a glass of wine and a bottle of beer for Alex.

Their conversation flows so easily from work to Ruby, to Alex’s adventures as a teenager. Thinking about it, they really haven’t had a night alone by themselves. It was always with Ruby or with Kara and Lena. Thinking about it, this is the only time Alex has seen Sam so… relaxed.

Sure, her expensive-looking suit frames Sam in this slightly intimidating way but Alex can see it in her eyes and the way that she laughs that some of the weight from her days as Reign have been lifted off her shoulders. And Alex is glad, really, to finally get to know Sam without the burden of Reign nagging at the back of their minds.

The night is deep and as Sam finished telling a story about Ruby’s childhood, Alex finds the courage to ask the question that’s always been at the tip of her tongue. They’d talked about it only once on girls’ night but they never really dug deep enough for Alex to understand further.

“What happened with Ruby’s father?” she asks, her voice calm and reassuring. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, I just wanted to ask, I guess.”

Sam studies Alex’s face for a moment, searching for something Alex isn’t sure what. They’re sitting on opposite ends of the couch. Sam’s long, slender legs are crossed while Alex’s whole body is turned toward Sam, one leg propped up the couch.

The CFO looks away from Alex, letting out a heavy sigh.

Alex shakes her head apologetically, “It’s okay if—”

“It wasn’t a one-night stand like most people assume,” Sam starts. She sets the glass of wine on the table, her hand finding the hem of her suit and fiddles with it unconsciously. Alex sees a wave of bravery in Sam’s eyes, a kind she’s never seen on the woman before.

Maybe this story requires a different kind of strength.

“He was my high school boyfriend,” she continues. “I really thought I loved him. We got drunk at one of his parties and a few weeks later, he was tossing me out of his car after finding out I was pregnant.” Sam forces a smile as she turns her attention back to Alex, “It was the last time I saw him.”

“That’s…” Alex stutters, not really knowing how to describe what she feels, “…awful. I’m sorry, Sam.”

Alex imagines a young Sam, heartbroken, scared, and clueless. It’s hard for Alex to imagine anyone treating Sam like that. This woman is beautiful and gentle, and incredible—and Alex’s heart aches for her. If she could take some of that pain from Sam, she would. She really, really would.

“You know what sucks, though?” she pauses. “It wasn’t the kid that scared him away. It was me. He couldn’t take the idea that he was having a kid with _me_.”

“What?” Alex spits out in pure shock. Suddenly, she’s right next to Sam, moving from her place on the couch to the other woman’s side in one swift motion. She puts a hand on top of Sam’s, grounding her; as if to remind her that one man’s idea of her does not define her in any way. “Sam, that’s impossible.  You’re—”

“—too much,” Sam interrupts her. “I was a lot back then. With my sob stories, with my need to overachieve on anything I do…” another heavy breath, “He was ready for a kid but not ready for me.”

Not knowing the real story, Alex always just assumed that it was a one-night stand. That’s what most people tell you about high school pregnancies. The guy gets scared of the responsibility so he runs away. She used to think that was bad.

Nothing could’ve prepared Alex for the truth. She wants to punch this guy so hard he flies out of the planet.

“After that night, rejections came in bunches,” Sam continues.

Her mom, her friends, and basically every person she trusted. They turned her away because they couldn’t handle her or her pregnancy. Every shelter she’d sought refuge at eventually gave up on her. She was a mess, living in the car she took with her after running away from home. She basically raised Ruby at the back of her car, seeking warmth at random places when it rained too hard.

It wasn’t until Ruby was almost two that Sam got over the shock of all the rejections she got. She worked her ass off and got to a community college while working three random jobs. She waited tables, sold random organic products, baby sat for a professor when she couldn’t even watch her own child—she doesn’t really know how she survived it.

Ruby was four when Sam finally had enough money to get them a proper apartment. All those years in between, the kid had no idea they were homeless. She bounced on her feet cheerfully at the kind strangers that Sam left her with when she had to go to school or work. Ruby quietly sat at the back of Sam’s car, getting into whatever comfortable position she could to fall asleep.

Alex listens intently to Sam’s short version of the story. She knows there’s many more layers to it and Alex didn’t need to know the entire story to think about how hard those years might have been for Sam.

Ultimately, the agent’s heart breaks at it but at the same time, she is incredibly in awe of Sam’s strength and perseverance; of the love that she has for her kid. To come from that and somehow end up here, literally sitting on top of one of the tallest buildings in National City, running a multi-billion dollar company.

There’s a unique bravery that comes from that experience. Alex now knows why Reign didn’t stand a chance against Sam.

“You’re crying,” Sam observes, chuckling gently.

Alex lets out a small laugh, wiping away the stray tear that managed to escape her eyes. She didn’t even realize she was crying already. “I just—” a pause, “You’re amazing, Sam. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what you went through or if I’d survive it if that was me but Sam, I—” she couldn’t find the words to say.

“DEO Director Alexandra Danvers, speechless,” Sam notes with a smile. It reaches her eyes and it makes Alex smile, too. Sam’s one hand reaches for her glass of wine as her other hand finds Alex’s. Their hands remain locked with each other and the agent has long stopped questioning why her body just refuses to let go.

“You’ll find someone, you know,” Alex tells her.

“Nah,” Sam shrugs. “I’ve long given up the idea of finding someone who would willingly get involved with me and my kid. I mean, come on.”

In this seemingly choreographed manner, both women rest back on their seat, letting their backs rest against the couch, hands still intertwined. (Both not really noticing.)

“The right person will,” Alex says with a faraway gaze.

“How romantic.”

“I’m serious, you know. There’s someone out there for you. They’ll find you and it’ll surprise you how right he’d fit in. He’ll love Ruby. I mean, it’s not hard. You got a great kid.”

It’s the last sentence that makes Sam turn to Alex. The agent is staring blankly at the ceiling so she doesn’t see the way Sam is looking at her in sheer surprise.

It’s one of the few times in her entire life that she’d heard someone speak about Ruby with such earnest and open affection; a tone you only hear when somebody genuinely cares about the person they’re talking about. She’s heard it from Lena and maybe Kara, too, but hearing it from Alex feels different.

For a second there, her mind goes crazy and imagines Alex and Ruby together; all those times at Midvale when the three of them spent time together by the docks, watching the sun set. Sometimes, Eliza joined them. But it was mostly just the three of them.

Alex continues, “The right person will come in your life, Sam. Like a thief in the night.”

“I hope not literally. I mean, I’m rich now,” she says with a laugh.

Alex laughs loud, perking up on her seat and finally looking at Sam. She swats her leg gently, “You’re quite the woman, you know that right?”

It was such a sight, both of them laughing light-heartedly after sharing a crucial friendship moment. Sam feels good to have somebody like Alex in her life; someone she could trust not to run away when she opens up like that. Alex is still there and that’s all that matters.

A thought crosses Sam’s mind. She perks up on her seat, “You know Alex, you’re right. I’m quite a woman.”

Sam stands up with a fierce determination and Alex merely watches, not really understanding what the hell is happening.

The CFO rounds her desk and gets ahold of her office phone. She quickly dials a number and after a few seconds the other line picks up. Sam puts a hand on her hip and Alex finds herself mildly attracted to _this_ Sam.

“Samantha Arias from L-Corp.” A pause. “Yes, I know you’ve been expecting my call since this afternoon. I also know he’d be asleep by now but tell your boss that I’m not drafting any other proposals. I’ve given you four drafts. Four generous proposals no other company would be crazy enough to offer you. So take the latest offer I gave you or we walk. Give me your decision by the end of business day tomorrow. Got that?”

Alex’s eyes widen in shock. She’d heard from Lena some stories about how good Sam is at her job or how scary she is when she’s in _Boss Sam_ mode. The agent now fully believes that. Not that she ever doubted it. It’s just so different seeing it live.

Sam hangs up, a satisfied grin starts forming on her face.

“Wow,” Alex manages.

“Thank you for inspiring me,” Sam says, walking back to where Alex is. She extends her hand to Alex which the agent takes as she pulls herself off the couch.

“All I did was bring you food.”

“It’s not just food. It’s Pablo’s.”

“Ha! You’re right.”

“Of course I am,” Sam shrugs.

Alex only laughs.

“Thank you.”

“Stop thanking me, Sam.”

For a moment there, both women just stand there looking at each other. Unknowingly, both women are finding the right words to say or the right things to do. Something tentative hangs in the air, as if something big needs to happen next.

Sam doesn’t know it yet. But Alex… Alex thinks she’s starting to figure out.

Something falls into place.

Seeing Sam in total boss mode and knowing about that story with Ruby’s father completes the picture for Alex. There’s a lot of things that make sense now.

Sam is gentle and caring but she loves fiercelessly and without take-backs. She’s someone you go to war with because she will give you everything and more. The tough persona that she allows the world to see is not a cover-up for a vulnerability she doesn’t want to show. The toughness is real but the vulnerability is there, too, waiting to be tapped into and to be understood without prejudice—only with love and an understanding that requires a patience and a gentleness that not a lot of people can be cut-out for.

What doesn’t make sense to Alex is how—in the face of everything the woman has gone through—she has remained good, hopeful, and completely free of hatred. Alex knows by experience that demons from the past have a way of turning light into darkness but somehow, somehow Sam was able to keep her light shining.

She can’t help but admire Sam but also want to protect her from any more pain, from any more danger. She deserves the world.

As Alex stands there, staring at Sam, the agent feels like she wants to be the one to give the world to her. To hold Sam’s heart in her hands and shield it from anyone who intends to hurt it.

A beat.

Then, it clicks.

She didn’t need to be the one to personally check on Sam in Midvale. She didn’t need to bring Ruby there every two weeks and spend time with them at the park, watching the sun set like any normal people would. She didn’t need to be the one to take care of Ruby in those six months, to take her to school everyday and basically become her second parent.

She didn’t need to be the one in charge of Sam’s well-being but she’d kept a close watch anyway. They didn’t need to talk on the phone almost every night in the span of six months. She could’ve pushed Sam away when the woman offered to take care of her when she got injured.

But she had let her instead, allowing Sam to completely become part of her daily life.

She wants to hear the woman’s voice everyday, to see her as frequently as she can. She wants to continue taking Ruby to school. She wants to spend many more weekends with the Arias girls. She wants to find the man who kicked Sam out of his car and show him what he’s missing. She wants to tell him that the biggest mistake of his life is to let this woman go.

He wants to punch him in the face on Sam’s behalf. On Ruby’s behalf. And her behalf as well because _no one_ hurts _her girls_ like that.

She wants to be the one to bring parts of Sam back to life, the parts she believes no one would love. She wants to be the one to make Sam feel like she’s enough because she is perfect in every way Alex could think of. Regardless of history, regardless of any darkness that Alex is sure still haunts Sam sometimes.

Alex takes a deep breath, absolutely shook to the core.

Is she falling for Sam?

“Are you ready to go?” Sam snaps her out of her thoughts.

She merely nods, completely at loss for words.

As they walk out of Sam’s office and into the parking lot to go separate ways—Sam to her car and Alex to her bike, Alex realizes that maybe this is it.

This is where the story starts to shift.

She’d always look back to this night as that one moment where all the colors changed.

Suddenly, she’s falling. Fast.

The scary thing is… falling feels like flying, until you find nobody there to catch you.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts?
> 
> also i'm still having withdrawals from these two. cry with me on tumblr: emilystarkk


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is seated across her while Ruby is in the back seat, sleeping peacefully. As Alex stops at the red light, something about the scene makes Alex feel like she could do this all her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried. A lot. (So, if this one has a lot of typos, blame the tears.)

.

**Midvale, a couple of months ago**

Sam sits at the foot of one of the beds inside the spacious room. From what she could recall from Eliza Danvers’ quick introduction, this used to be Alex and Kara’s room back then.

Looking around, Sam can sense a familiarity to it. It’s warm and cozy, and even though it’s been years, it feels lived in and taken care of—like it is still being cleaned regularly even if no one actually uses it.

However, some of it feels distant at the same time. Alex and Kara, being who they are today, don’t feel like they belong here anymore; as if this place is a faraway memory of a time when everything was different.

For a moment, Sam wonders how her childhood room looks like now. Deep down, Sam knows her mother wouldn’t even go near it.

“That’s my bed,” a voice interrupts her thoughts.

Sam looks up and sees Alex standing by the doorway, an easy smile gracing her lips. There’s a certain hint of sadness behind Alex’s eyes, something Sam has gotten used to every time she looks at the woman. At the same time, there’s bravery in there—an image of quiet strength, a formidable force that makes her tough enough to survive any pain. Albeit barely sometimes, but still.

Sam forces a smile and then she looks away from the agent, scared to be exposed.

It’s only been a week since they defeated Reign—since _she_ defeated her evil twin. The memories are slowly coming back but these memories… they don’t feel hers. She sees all of it but every time she does, it always feels like she’s watching from somebody else’s body.

She sees it all happening: the bloodshed, the punching, the killing, the world destruction. But she doesn’t feel it. She doesn’t remember the feeling of somebody else’s blood on her hands. She doesn’t remember the feeling of punching Supergirl so hard it almost kills her. She doesn’t remember the screams. She only sees them which is maybe why it’s easier to believe them when they tell her: _it wasn’t you, Sam._

Except it _was_ her.

She doesn’t feel any of those things but she sees them. She remembers them. She sees lifeless bodies falling to the ground after Reign unleashed hell on them. She remembers the blank, empty look on Supergirl’s face when she fell off from that rooftop. She sees the faces of the people who were screaming in agony every time Reign attacked.

She sees them in her sleep.

Sometimes, she sees them even when she’s awake.

“Hey,” Alex interrupts her thoughts again. This time, the agent is looking at her like she’s trying to clue herself in what Sam is thinking. She pads down the short distance between them and then slowly sits next to Sam, their bodies mere inches apart.

Sam doesn’t flinch this time. The brunette knows the redhead noticed.

Ever since the high of the victory over Reign started coming off, Sam has felt jumpy and scared; so much so that every time anybody tries to approach her, she flinches. Ruby was the only exception and even then, Sam’s mind tells her that she could break her daughter without breaking a sweat.

“The very first time Kara realized she had super strength,” Alex starts, voice careful and gentle, “she ripped that door off its hinges.” The agent then purses her lips toward the general direction of the door. Sam looks at the door and then back at Alex. There’s hope in Alex’s eyes, something that tells Sam that it’s gonna be alright and for the moment, it’s enough to calm her down. Alex is here and it’s all that matters.

Alex reaches out for Sam’s hand, holds it with both of hers, “I’m not going to tell you that Reign’s memories are not yours because it’s your body, Sam. I don’t know how her memories make you feel but there’s one thing I know—”

There’s a pause. Alex meets her eyes and there, Sam’s whole world stops. For a moment there, everything is okay.

“—you, Sam, this very Sam in front of me is the one who punched Reign in the face three times,” Alex breaks into a smile, which makes Sam smile as well. “I would’ve paid good money to see you defeat her.”

“I’d pay good money to see _me_ punch her,” Sam quips, her lips lifting to a sly smile.

They’re silent for a couple of seconds with Alex’s hands still holding Sam’s, like she’s holding her entire world together.

“You defeated her, okay? She’s not coming back. Lena and I are going to make sure that she stays gone.”

Honestly, Sam doesn’t believe it one bit. No one could’ve predicted everything that happened with Reign. If there’s any written rule in any universe that the Worldkiller is supposed to come back and finish her mission, not even Lena or Alex could stop that. But she tries to convince herself anyway.

“Midvale is going to be great for you,” Alex tells her, a nod following the end of her sentence.

Sam nods along, clasping Alex’s hand.

_Take all the time you need, Sam_ , Lena told her.

Incidentally, all the time she needs comes with a weekly visit from the therapist, a once-a-month full-physical exam with blood and urine tests, a bi-weekly CT scan to make sure that her brain chemistry is still very much human—all of _these_ comes with this little _break_. But Sam figures it’s safer this way.

_It’s routine procedure,_ Alex reassured her. Sam knows better, though. This is not routine procedure because there’s literally no one to compare her situation with. You cannot develop a _routine_ procedure without experience of doing it before.

She has faith in Alex. It still puzzles her sometimes why she trusts Alex this much. They’re not that close. After all, they only met through Kara and never really hung out on their own. But with Alex, Sam feels safe. Even with everything that’s happened, just being near Alex makes her feel that there are places in this world that Reign hasn’t casted a shadow over.

Seeing the worry on Sam’s face, she turns to the brunette as if something just crossed her mind, “Are you too tired to go somewhere right now?”

“I’m always tired lately but what do you have in mind?”

“Come on,” Alex stands and then urges for Sam to do the same. “I’m going to show you something.”

.

**PRESENT DAY**

Alex Danvers doesn’t run. Well, she runs in the literal sense of the word but she doesn’t do that figuratively.

She faced the music when she had this big realization that she might be gay. Even though that self-revelation felt like a boulder being thrown at her, she didn’t run. She faced it head on. When her sister needed saving from space, she hopped on that pod without much thought. Even if it’s her life on the line, she didn’t run.  She faced that outer space fiasco head on.

When she slowly realized that she has feelings for Maggie, she went and tried to get the girl. Granted, that didn’t work at first but it did eventually—and Alex likes to believe facing the music pays off.

So yeah, Alex Danvers is a lot of things but she’s not a runner.

That’s why it doesn’t make sense now why her entire body is urging her to run as far away as possible from these so-called feelings for Sam. She’d spent the last two days convincing herself that she doesn’t have feelings for the woman.

It’s messy—liking your friend is messy. Not to mention said friend is recovering from learning that there was a program installed in her brain designed to end the world. Not to mention said friend is _probably_ , so far, straight. Not to mention said friend doesn’t like her that way.

Alex could think of so many things (excuses, maybe) that tell her why these feelings are more of _getting-caught-in-the-moment_ feelings than they are actual feelings. But every time her brain processes these things, her brain also comes up with reasons that tell her that these feelings are very real.

The list always starts with the way her body reacts whenever the woman is around—the heart skipping a beat, the butterflies, the way her breath sometimes hitches. These things are supposed to happen when you’re in high school, when you’re young and clueless, and absolutely naïve about the fact that liking someone always somehow hurts… _and God!_ She’s rambling even in her thoughts and what kind of friend—

“Alex?” her thoughts are interrupted by Ruby’s voice.

Oh, right.

“Hey!” she manages, nervously shifting her focus to the kid who is bouncing on her feet.

“Where did you just go?”

“I was just thinking about work.”

“You and mom have a lot in common, you know that right?”

Alex merely laughs, desperately hoping that the kid doesn’t latch on the nerves behind it.

“Are you ready to go?” Ruby asks.

Alex quickly scans her surroundings just to get herself back to this moment. She’s at the parking lot of Ruby’s school, picking the kid up from soccer practice.

It’s not the school’s soccer program. To her surprise, the community where the Arias family lives at joined a league where kids from the community can _get to know their neighbors in a competitive setting and get to improve their skills outside of the school_.

This is something Alex still finds ridiculous because Sam mentioned the fees and holy crap, joining community soccer has monthly fees that could save Alex from a lot of bills and _wow_.

(See, the Arias girls live in a gated community—and a gated community within an upscale neighborhood in a high-income city means only one thing: Sam is doing pretty well. Like, really, really well.)

She’s supposed to take Ruby to L-Corp today which is weird because it’s a Saturday.

“Yes, kiddo, let’s go see your mom,” Alex says with a smile, now making a full recovery from her thought ramble from earlier.

“I’m so excited!” Ruby says as they match each other’s steps toward Alex’s truck.

“Why are you so excited to go to your mom’s office?”

“Because all she ever hangs out with these days are Aunt Lena, and Aunt Kara, and you. Not that I don’t like it but mom, she’s—“ Ruby’s explanation gets cut off when they both get into the vehicle. Alex hops in quite effortlessly but it takes Ruby a little bit more effort because she’s small. Heh. Alex thinks it’s cute how Ruby climbs up the front seat of the huge truck.

Once settled in, Ruby grabs the seat belt and continues talking, “Mom’s good with people, Alex. I see it all the time but I feel like that’s gone now, ever since—”

Alex nods and gives the kid a sympathetic smile. She doesn’t need to finish that sentence for Alex to know exactly what she’s talking about.

“It’s the first time I’ll see her around people that are not you or the other members of the group chat Winn calls ‘family’ but is spelled with tons of ‘e’ at the end.”

Alex smiles affectionately at the kid. This kid is smart, Alex is so sure of that.

(Also, that group chat is spelled _FAMILEEEEEEEEEE_ and everyone hates it so much but nobody bothered to changed it. The members of the group chat are Kara, Lena, Alex, Winn, James, and J’onn. It’s minus Winn now because they haven’t figured out a way to communicate when you’re from a different time period but Alex honestly won’t be surprised if they do because… well, weirder things have happened.

A side note: they had to convince Lena to install the app because she doesn’t have any apps that have low _cybersecurity parameters_. It took them a couple of hours but Lena gave in eventually.)

“Do you think Mom is sad, Alex?” Ruby asks her.

Alex can’t find the right words to say. She has to tread carefully around this topic.

_Why isn’t there a book somewhere that gives you tips on how to be a great support system when your friend is recovering from being an alien who almost destroyed the city?_

The redhead starts the car, letting out a heavy sigh, “I think your mom is healing.”

Ruby slumps back on her seat, “You’re always going to be there for her, right?”

There it is again, her heart skipping a beat.

Alex pats the top of Ruby’s head, “I’m not going anywhere.”

_Not ever._

“Good,” Ruby says. “She trusts you.”

.

With a tray of coffee in one hand and Ruby’s hand on the other, they reach the lobby of L-Corp. The guard on duty only smiles at Alex as he leads the pair to the Executive elevators.

Sam mentioned the other day that she asked for a special pass for Alex.

The agent tries to hide her smile as she presses the button to the 45th floor.

.

“That’s just unfair,” Sam sort-of whines as she sees Lena stepping out of the dressing room.

“It’s hardly a stretch, Samantha,” Lena says, checking herself out in front of the mirror. Lena is wearing a purple, off-shoulder bodycon dress that has an origami-style neckline that—not to be cliché—hugs her body in all the right places. “I wear dresses like this to work everyday.”

Sam rolls her eyes good-naturedly. Her friend is _so extra_ as Ruby would call it. She didn’t even know what that meant until now.

Today, Lena and Sam are doing a photoshoot for this magazine called, _Scarlet._ Their magazine reached out to L-Corp’s PR department and pitched a story about two of the youngest C-suite executives in the history of the Fortune100 list. Lena had asked for the magazine’s portfolio, as well as the writer’s sample works to make sure she isn’t associating herself with institutions she doesn’t share the same views of the world with.

Sam doesn’t know exactly what kind of scrutiny the magazine and the writer had to go through for Lena to approve of the exclusive but if there’s anything Sam knows about the CEO: she’s thorough. Nothing gets past her so when Lena asked her if she wanted to do the cover story, Sam had shrugged and decided to go with it.

Since the media got hold of her appointment as interim CFO two years ago, she has become quite a public figure. She was 28 then and was still based at the Central City site of L-Corp. When you’re that young and slated into a c-level position, that kind of makes a buzz. Especially, when she officially got the job just last year. Magazine features like this are common but this one feels different because you know, Reign.

Thankfully, she’s used to hiding her nerves well. She knows Lena knows it but this is a dance they’ve doing for a quite a while now. They know how this goes.

“Has anybody told you that you look like a model?” the stylist tells her as the blonde, mid-20s woman approaches her. “Excuse my fangirling, and probably language too, but I’d kill for those legs.”

Sam laughs, “You flatter me, Sutton. Thank you.”

The woman only smiles as she proceeds to the back of the room and helps prepare the rest of the outfits they’ll be using today.

What used to be L-Corp’s Press Room has been converted to a studio where a full-blown set is stationed at the back of the room with several makeshift dressing stations set up everywhere. People from Scarlet’s Fashion and Editorial departments flew from New York to National City to do the shoot and the interview.

With help from the staff from their California satellite office, they were able to pull together a decent-looking studio that can handle whatever their requirements are for the cover story.

Sam’s hair is currently being styled by this woman called Jade so she’s stuck in her seat, wearing a white robe, reading emails on her phone. Lena, on the other hand, is trying on dresses for their first shoot.

“A jumpsuit is a unique but definitely a great choice,” Sutton approaches her again, this time holding a nude tailored tuxedo jumpsuit with a folded, V-neck collar. “You would rock these.”

“Tell me what you want me to wear and I’ll wear it. I’m not as particular as that woman,” she points at Lena who is on her second dress.

“I can hear you, Sam. Need I remind you I’m still your boss,” Lena kids.

Sam laughs, “You wish.”

 Lena turns to her, “What do you think?”

“You look like a million bucks,” Sam says.

“Well, that’s almost as much as I paid for this dress,” she accents it with a laugh.

She turns to Sutton and whispers, “Let me guess, she gave you a list of designers.”

Sutton nods and wiggles her eyebrows, “She did.”

The two share a laugh just as the door opens and in comes an energetic Ruby, trailed by a smiling Alex who instantly finds her eyes across the room. The stylist disappears to the back of the room.

Something electric occurs there. It’s brief but Sam felt it.

Ruby half-runs to Sam and attempts to hug her but Sam motions to her hair which is currently being ironed. “Later, baby,” she says so Ruby settles for a kiss to the cheek instead. The kid then turns to Lena.

“Wow, Aunt Lena!” Ruby’s eyes are on Lena who instantly spreads her arms to her sides to welcome the incoming hug. Ruby shifts her attention to the CEO.

Meanwhile, Alex makes her way to Sam.

“I brought coffee,” Alex says, handing her one of the two cups in the tray. “Long black from Urban Cabin.”

“You know me, lady,” Sam smiles, taking the cup of coffee from Alex.

Sam doesn’t know when it started happening or if it only started happening today but before she knows it, Alex is placing a quick kiss on her cheek as a greeting. It’s brief and Alex’s lips barely grazed her cheek but the gesture renders her shocked anyway.

It was sudden but part of it feels like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

Maybe, Alex was caught-up in the gesture, too, because they both just pause there, staring at each other. There’s a smile on Sam’s lips and a blush creeps up Alex’s cheeks. Both too engrossed in each other’s presence, they both miss the way Lena’s eyes go wide at what just occurred.

_When did that start to happen?_

Thankfully, Lena’s a truly great friend because she breaks the moment with a quip, “Sure, no one give me coffee.”

Alex rolls her eyes affectionately before tearing her attention from Sam to Lena, “I got you coffee, too.”

“You’re sweet Alex. Leave it on the table, I have to change again.”

“Use the purple one, it looks good on you,” Sam tells her.

“Please,” the CEO flicks her wrist. “Everything looks good on me.”

Everyone in the room laughs as Sutton cheers from the back of the room, “Yes, girl!”

Everyone starts minding their business after that, except Ruby who makes her way to the part of the room where all the cameras are set up.

Alex clears the table near Sam and sits on top of it.

“Your kid has an interest in cameras. She’s going to have an expensive hobby,” Alex comments.

“She’s always loved the idea of filmmaking. I think she’s pretty set on going to film school.”

“She’s not even in high school yet.”

Sam only shrugged, “She’s lucky she knows who she is. At that age, the only thing I knew is that I liked Math.”

Alex laughs, “Wow, what a terrible choice.”

“You don’t get to laugh at me. You’re a science nerd, you dork.”

“I’m not a dork.”

“You are and I think it’s adorable.”

“Ugh,” Alex fake-whines and turns to Jade, Sam’s hair stylist, who is standing just behind her. “I’m not adorable and I’m not a dork. I’m an FBI agent.”

Jade only laughs and says, “You two are cute.”

Before Alex could muster up a retort, the hair stylist calls out, “Sutton, I’m almost done with the hair. Let’s get her dressed.”

“Coming!”

Their moment is over as Sam gets pulled to the dressing room but the feeling at the pit of her stomach remains.

It’s new so it’s a bit confusing but Sam can’t say that she doesn’t like the feeling of Alex’s lips on her cheeks.

The thought terrifies her to no end.

.

Alex is sitting on the couch by the wall, browsing through some end-of-day reports from yesterday. Ruby is beside her, munching on burger and fries while watching an episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race on her phone.

On the outside, she appears to be calm but deep down, she’s panicking because—

_What the hell?_

She kissed Sam on the cheek which is not a thing that they do because they are not _that kind_ of friends. But seeing Sam there, after two days of not talking to the brunette at all… her body just… wanted it. And she responded quite impulsively. And frankly, she liked the feeling of it—which is what makes it so scary.

It feels too soon and when she closes her eyes, she can see Maggie—the only person she’d done this whole _here’s-a-kiss-to-greet-you_ thing and it feels heavy on her shoulders. She feels like she’s betraying Maggie and everything they’ve shared and it’s just—

“You’re lost in your thoughts again, aren’t you?” Ruby asks, not even looking up from the Snatch Game episode she’s been laughing at for the last half-hour.

(Sam made her watch all the episodes leading up to the latest season. What do you think they did all those weekends at Midvale?)

“Nope, I’m just wondering why you never share fries.”

“You should’ve gotten this instead of a salad.”

“I’m trying to eat healthy.”

“Alex, please,” Ruby says and even without seeing it, Alex could tell she just rolled her eyes.

Alex only laughs at the kid’s sass. She is definitely Sam’s daughter.

A few more moments later, Sam steps out of the dressing room and Alex is absolutely floored. She tries but she’s unable to tear hear eyes off the woman.

Sam is wearing a black, two-piece tailor-fit suit. Her loose inside shirt is the faintest shade of blue. Her trousers are a slim-fit pair, ending just above her ankles. She’s wearing a pair of black stilettos, probably around five or six inches. The CFO’s hair is pulled back in this sleek, high-fashion model kind. Her makeup is sultry, like she’s never seen before and _Jesus!_ She’s wearing glasses.

Sam isn’t even showing any ridiculous amount of skin but Alex finds her so _fucking_ attractive. This has to be illegal.

She’s elegant in this reserved but totally _don’t-underestimate-me_ kind of way and for a second there, Alex finds it hard to breathe.

“Wow,” Ruby breathes out. They’re looking at the same person apparently.

Sam makes her way to them with a bashful smile.

“What do you think?”

Alex releases a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

“Mom, you look like….” Ruby tries to put some words together, “…somebody else. In a good way!”

Sam laughs, embarrassed, “I look stupid, don’t I?”

“Mom, no!” Ruby is quick on her feet, standing up and grabs her phone to snap some pictures. “You look like a supermodel!”

Alex just sits there, still without any coherent words to describe this feeling.

Sam turns to her.

“Alex?”

_Why is she asking me for validation?_

“Sam, you look—” Alex swallows visibly. “You’re—”

Before Alex could say more, Sutton shouts from the dressing room. “Ms. Arias, let’s try on the jumpsuit.”

Sam smiles at her one last time before turning on her heels and heads to the dressing room.

Alex feels Ruby sit back next to her.

“You better close your mouth or you’re gonna swallow a fly.”

She nudges the kid playfully. She also hears Lena snicker from across the room.

_Ugh_.

.

The photoshoot is over before Alex realizes it.

She really did just sit there, probably with her mouth hanging open, as both Lena and Sam posed for the camera. She can tell they’re having fun with the shoot just as the staff are having fun, too. She didn’t know Lena was so funny and relaxed around new people. If there’s anxiety somewhere, the CEO hid it well.

Sam, on the other hand, was fantastic. _The camera loves her_ , the photographer said once; and multiple times Alex heard the staff gasp seeing Sam’s face on their laptop. However, on top being so stunning, there’s an air of reverent humility to her. Every smile, every move, every laugh she does exalts the sincerity that Alex admires so much.

She goes back to wondering how Sam does it—to come from all of that and still end up here. The way she interacts with people isn’t something you usually see from people in her position. She offers a seat to the magazine staff, asks around if they’d had snacks yet, and does all these little things that make Sam so… Sam.

“I’m not supposed to be relatable,” Lena says, her voice firm and sure.

Alex is still sitting by the couch, now watching the interview unfold in front of her. Ruby is asleep, sprawled on the couch with her head on Alex’s lap. Sam and Lena, now in their generic white robes, are seated across the journalist from the magazine. Jane Sloan, that’s her name. Alex looked her up. Seems like a great writer.

“Doesn’t that disrupt the whole point of being a woman of power?” Jane asks. The journalist—dark hair, round eyes, full lips—chances a glance at the recorder on top of the small coffee table as she takes notes on a small notebook.

Lena shrugs, “I think it’s problematic how the media thinks that being a woman of power is something that’s relatable to everyone. It’s not. If I was relatable, everyone would be a CEO at 25.”

Alex can tell that the journalist has ran out of follow up questions to ask but she is still looking for something solid to support Lena’s previous statement. She doesn’t ask anything but urges Lena to continue with a nod.

Lena picks up on it, “But you asked me about success and it’s important to relay the message that some successes come from a place of privilege. If I was the daughter of a middle-class couple, I wouldn’t be able to attend MIT and do trial and errors on some of the technology that made L-Corp a success. Simply because I didn’t have the money. I would have to work a desk job from 9 to 5 to properly put a roof over my head, put on decent clothes, and eat the right amount of food. It leaves so little room to pursue something bigger than that.”

The interviewer is obviously having a hard time trying to decode what kind of message Lena is trying to send.

Sam places a hand on Lena’s knee and squeezes it ever so gently, “May I?”

Lena lets out a sigh, “I’m doing it again, am I?”

Sam lifts an eyebrow in agreement.

Lena turns to Jane, “Jane, I’m sorry. I tend to do that—whatever you think I was doing.” The CEO turns back to Sam, “Do your thing.”

Alex watches in sheer curiosity. She’s heard stories from Kara about Sam and Lena’s work dynamic. She figured L-Corp wouldn’t have survived the nightmares of the last few years if the two weren’t so good but she’d always wonder what was about the two that makes them such a good team.

“What Lena is trying to say is, there’s a more important message that has to be conveyed,” Sam clears her throat. “That the meaning of success varies depending on who you’re talking to and it’s important to note that a public figure’s definition of success doesn’t have to be a universal meaning. Lena’s a CEO at 25 and this girl at Missouri is a store manager around the same age and comparing the two types of successes is like comparing two books of different genres sitting on the opposite side of the same shelf. There’s one common ground but hardly anything similar.”

The agent sits there, completely blown away by the way Sam said all of that. Her composure, her wisdom—it’s all so fascinating.

Sam continues, “Success is different for every person but it doesn’t make any of these successes less relevant than the other. Lena saying she’s not relatable is a good thing because if everyone tried to achieve success the way she did without the resources she had, they’d all fail. The key is to find the way that works for you, to achieve your definition of success that fits you.”

“Isn’t that limiting? Aren’t we telling girls out there their success is only defined by their current situation?”

Sam’s lips quirk in a tight smile.

Lena chuckles, “Honey, you’re in for a ride.”

Sam takes a deep breath and leans back on her seat, as if she’s comfortable, as if this interview is the easiest thing in the world. She bites her lower lip for the briefest of seconds and then goes off, “If our success is defined by where we are at certain point in our lives, I wouldn’t be here. I was basically homeless for four years before I decided that it simply isn’t the life I want for my kid.”

Alex watches Sam keenly. Her eyes are glowing of hope and love, something that’s always so evident when she’s talking about Ruby. It makes Alex’s heart swell with pride and affection.

Perhaps, Alex should’ve known.

All those times she’d spent around the little family has been the silver lining of this otherwise lonely year. Everyone seems to think that the breakup with Maggie was the final blow that shattered Alex. But they don’t know that it was just the beginning.

That breakup, no matter how mutual it may have seemed, was just the beginning of the outpour of all the pent-up anger that Alex has inside her.

Leaning about her sexuality was what put together everything that she didn’t understand about herself. Falling in love and being loved in return was something that grounded Alex. It was something that she didn’t know she could have. It was something she thought she could only dream of.

Then the breakup happened and suddenly, she was back to zero. She was slapped with the cold, hard truth that some things don’t last as long as we want it to.

Meeting Sam—spending time with her and Ruby—made her realize that maybe it’s okay. Maybe it’s okay to not figure it out. That maybe some things don’t happen because there’s something else in play. That maybe, getting her heart broken is a set up to it being whole again.

Sure, things may have been dark and sure, they could’ve still shared the same memories under different circumstances but life post-Reign has been a journey for Alex as much as it is a journey for Sam; because life post-Reign is also life post-Maggie.

Listening to Sam right now, it all becomes clear. All that denial is out of the door now.

_Sam._

This woman is her silver lining—a break of light on a dark, cloudy day.

Tears well in Alex’s eyes.

“There are a lot of things that I wish I could’ve gotten when I was younger, Jane. Success would’ve been easier for me if I had a better childhood, if I went to a better Uni, if I had somebody else to raise my kid with but,” a breath, “But I figured that sometimes, not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Alex looks around the room. She sees Lena, Jess, Sutton, Jane, and two more people from the PR department. They are all staring at Sam in pure admiration.

Jane is the first one who breaks the awed silence. She sniffs as she wipes a stray tear that managed to escape her eyes, “There’s no way I could ever properly put to words what just happened here.”

Lena lets out a teary laugh, extending her arm so she could give Sam’s hand a squeeze, “No. There are no words to describe that.”

“Uhm, can I ask something?” this time, it’s Sutton who dares to speak up. She turns to Jane, “Can I?”

Jane nods, “If Ms. Arias doesn’t mind.”

Sam smiles, “Call me Sam and what’s your question?”

Sutton lets out a breath, “Does it feel right? Where you are right now, does it feel like…. _this is it_?”

Sam ponders the question for a while. She looks at Lena and then at the sleeping form of Ruby on Alex’s lap. Then, Sam’s eyes find Alex’s. Their gazes remain locked on each other as Sam answers, “I hope so. I hope for my sake that this is it.”

And it overwhelms Alex how much she feels for this girl.

She smiles at Sam. Sam smiles back at her.

Despite herself, Alex feels a sliver of hope crawl through her skin.

.

The photoshoot wraps sooner than later and the next thing she knows, Alex is driving the Arias girls home.

Sam is seated across her while Ruby is in the back seat, sleeping peacefully. As Alex stops at the red light, something about the scene makes Alex feel like she could do this all her life.

“You made that journalist cry today,” Alex breaks the silence.

Sam laughs, “I didn’t mean to.”

“I might’ve shed a tear, too.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re a sap.”

This makes Alex laugh, “Probably, can you keep that secret for me?”

“I’m good with secrets.”

“Nice,” Alex nods. “When does the issue come out?”

“Next month?” Sam responds with a shrug. “I’m not so sure. I did that interview because of Lena. God knows she needs it.”

The light turns green and Alex carefully drives down the road. There aren’t a lot of cars on this side of the town at this hour.

“Too much time at the lab?”

Sam nods, “I heard she’s working on something new. Top secret.”

“Not even the CFO can know about it?”

“As long as it doesn’t spend too much money beyond what is passable under _Research_ , it doesn’t have to go through me. Besides, she’s the CEO.”

Alex nods, accepting this. Deep down, she wonders what Lena is up to. L-Corp has had great breakthroughs in recent memory. Supergirl wouldn’t have been able to save the city multiple times in the past without Lena’s help.

Silence follows after that. Only the low grumble of the engine can be heard. The silence isn’t awkward but it’s vulnerable, like one of them has to speak or the bubble with break.

Luckily, Sam decides to talk.

“Kara said you’re going to Japan?”

“Ah,” that reminds her. “That’s next weekend. I have this meeting with some important people. Classified.”

“For how long?”

“Just a few days. We leave Saturday then come back Tuesday.”

“You’re going to miss the first game of the season,” Sam says, tilting her head to motion at Ruby still sleeping at the back.

“Oh yeah, against Eastfall,” Alex recalls. “Nah, they can handle ‘em.”

“You know the teams,” Sam says with a laugh.

“It’s a community soccer league, Sam. It’s amazing!”

“It’s expensive, too.”

Alex laughs, “Exactly.”

“They play Oldmoor next. That one we can’t miss.”

_We._

“She hates that girl. What’s her face—”

They say in unison, “Madelaine Campbell.”

Both women laugh at that.

In between laughs, Alex manages, “She hates her so much, she always says her full name every time she tells me a new Molly Campbell story.”

Sam nods, “Yeah, we can’t miss that game.”

_We_.

They proceed to lighter topics until they reach the Arias residence. Alex pulls over by the driveway as Sam takes her seatbelt off and turns to Ruby. She was almost going to wake the sleeping girl but Alex stops her.

“I’ll carry her to the house.”

“What?” Sam mutters, amused.

“You think I can’t carry her?”

Sam laughs, “I am aware how strong you are, Al. But she’s 12.”

Ruby clears her throat, “I’m still a kid though.”

Both the older women turn to her and sees her with a huge grin. Her eyes are droopy but she’s smiling.

“It’s still perfectly reasonable to carry me to the house. Come on, Alex!”

Alex laughs as she hops off the driver’s seat and rounds the car to the other side.

“Alex, you don’t have to do this,” Sam says with a laugh but nothing in her voice indicates that she really doesn’t want Alex to do it.

“Hop in, Princess,” Alex says as she opens the door of the truck and turns her back from Ruby, giving her the go-signal for a piggyback ride.

Ruby laughs, something that warms Sam’s heart. The kid almost jumps on Alex back but the agent didn’t even wobble, catching her perfectly.

Alex turns to Sam, “Can you get the keys?”

“Of course,” Sam nods, still laughing at the antics of the two girls. “You two are crazy.”

Alex starts marching to the door as Ruby snakes her arms around Alex’s back, relaxing to the woman’s strong figure. As she locks the car, Sam watches both Alex and Ruby and the scene makes Sam feel something she isn’t quite familiar with. She doesn’t know what it is but it’s good.

It’s good.

.

**Midvale, a couple of months ago**

Alex drives to the docks just a mere 15-minute drive from home. She takes Sam’s hand as they slowly trudge down the walkway.

“Over there,” Alex points toward the other side of the town. “That’s where people go every weekend to watch the sunset and play happy music, and just be happy overall.”

There are a couple of boats loaded by the side, gently moving along with the small, calm waves of the sea. The night is quiet, except for the faded sound of the ocean and the faint music blaring from a loud speaker far away.

Echo Bluff Pier is well-lit, even at night. Yellow light bulbs make a great contrast to the dark, overwhelming black of the night and the ocean. Porch lights from houses surrounding the pier make the whole place glow.

“I go here when I’m particularly sad,” Alex tells Sam.

Reaching the end of the walkway, nothing stands in front of them but the pure, dark vastness of the ocean. Sam can’t see it but she hears it. In the middle of where she’s standing and the harbor across town, she knows the ocean is there.

Alex sits on the wooden floor, her legs stretched. Sam takes the seat next to her, crossing her legs.

They don’t talk. Alex lets Sam breathe it in. She lets the quiet seep into the loudest corners of Sam’s mind.

Sam, on the other hand, takes it all in. Alex. The silence. The glow of the lights that surround her, keeping her from getting swallowed by this darkness. She feels Alex’s hand on hers, warm and comforting.

She doesn’t know exactly how home feels like but it must be close to this.

“What does home feel like?” Sam asks, tears welling instantly in her eyes. She tries to shut Reign out. She’s gone but Sam still feels like she’s lurking somewhere, ready to take over her body again.

“Loaded question,” Alex comments and then releases a sigh. “I got shot once.”

Sam chuckles, punching Alex’s arm gently.

Alex lets out a small laugh, “That’s not the story. This is a good one.”

Sam nods quietly, resting her head on the smaller girl’s shoulder. Alex lets Sam’s hand go to snake an arm around the taller girl’s shoulder. Alex finds it odd how they fit so well. Before the whole Reign debacle, they weren’t even that close. But now, sitting next to Sam it feels strangely familiar.

The agent continues, “I got shot once but I never really realized that I was shot. So I went home and that’s only when I realized that I indeed got shot and I’m losing a lot of blood. I was a rookie so I thought I was gonna die.” She chuckles, “So I screamed and Kara comes flying into my apartment very worried. She wanted to fly me to the hospital but I was afraid that the height will only make me pass out so she just called 911.”

Sam listens intently both on Alex’s story and the steady rhythm of her breath. It calms her down.

“While waiting, we sat on the couch. I had my hand on my wound, right here,” she points to the left side of her abdomen. “And Kara sat next to me with her arms around me, humming a familiar lullaby we used to sing when we were younger. And that’s it. Home doesn’t have to be a place. Sometimes, it’s a pair of arms after a very long day.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Silence envelopes them again until Sam’s quiet sobs fill the air. Alex understands that she’s still grieving. All those lives. All those people. All those families. But Sam’s biggest loss, while not entirely the same, is something similar to Alex’s story.

Sam just unearthed a whole new part of herself. The thing about big revelations like this is that it messes up everything you thought you knew about yourself. You’ve been you your whole life, you start to think that you’re wired a certain way and then boom, something happens and all of a sudden, you’re different.

“I’m sorry I almost killed your sister.”

“Sam, it wasn’t you.”

“Still.”

“You’re the one who saved her.”

“Alex, I’m scared.”

“I know.”

Another round of sobs escape Sam. All Alex could do is be there, an arm wrapped around the brunette’s shoulder, letting her know that she’s here.

“I don’t want to ask for too much but,” a sob, “is it okay if you stay? Just be in the same room with me until the morning.”

A tear escapes Alex’s eyes but she doesn’t let Sam see it.

“I’ll stay for as long as you want me.”

In that moment, Alex swears that she’s going to protect this woman with her life.

.

Back then, she didn’t understand why.

Today, it all makes sense.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I love The Bold Type and had to put it in there somewhere. Raise your hand if you got it.
> 
> Also, let me know your thoughts. And cry with me on Tumblr: emilystarkk


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think love is / Finding each other’s eyes across the room when it’s a party / And you’re talking to other people and somehow / You catch their eyes and you just know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me this long to update this because, well, there's this whole world out there that needed me to participate. But this one is long, so it should be enough. (Also, I have so many typo errors here because that's who I am as a person.)

.

The first thing Alex does after that night is to _process_ things.

Alex usually isn’t someone who _processes_. Alex is a jumper—she jumps into alien attacks; jumps into a shooting situation; jumps into relationships, into engagements. This has become Kara’s script for all the times she’d lectured Alex about taking time to breathe, to think, before _jumping_ into anything.

So, this time, she listens.

This time, Alex takes her time processing whatever this thing she thinks she feels for Sam. In fact, she processes for weeks after that initial light bulb moment.

However, parking her feelings tentatively somewhere didn’t stop things from progressing.

Before she realizes it, she and Sam have already developed a routine. They’ve taken turns picking Ruby up from school; taken turns in preparing dinners; taken turns on who takes Ruby to soccer practice. Alex has figured out how Sam likes her eggs and toast in the morning; Sam has learned how to cook Alex’s favorite chili mac n’ cheese. There was simply no explanation for this dynamic except that Alex likes being around the two.

The two or three times Ruby was at a sleepover, they’d played board games with Kara and Lena all night including that one time James, Brainy, and Lt. Green joined them. Alex now knows, no matter how cliched it is, that it is always down to Lena and Sam when it comes to Monopoly.

(Alex learned that Lena is a sore loser. She couldn’t stop glaring at Sam that one time the CFO outsmarted her after two long hours of Monopoly. Sam was in tears, telling the story about Lena’s brief outburst at one of their townhall gatherings: _Before we get down to business updates, I’d like to tell everyone that my CFO cheated on Monopoly last night._ )

Part of Alex’s brain never fails to remind her that she’s _probably_ crossing a line; that all of this is no longer part of _processing_. But the other part of her is absolutely, overwhelmingly happy spending all this time with Ruby and Sam.

And per real-world logic, happy always wins.

Somewhere, there’s a yellow light blinking right at her, telling her to slow down. But truthfully, it’s getting harder and harder to do that.

“Any updates?” Alex asks, taking a step closer to the war table with her hands on her hips and eyes trained to the large monitors in front of her.

On the monitors are images of somebody who looks exactly like Supergirl; except this _entity_ is wearing a black-and-red body suit almost similar to what Alex usually wears on the field. If she didn’t know any better, she would believe this is actually Supergirl.

Said Supergirl look-alike is seen on the photos in the middle of a very public rampage, attacking civilians, lifting buses like it’s nothing—like an angrier version of Supergirl. This same Suprgirl look-alike is also the one who attacked the actual Supergirl during the POTUS’ visit to Japan.

In some of the photos, the two _Supers_ are seen in a battle, red-and-blue versus black-and-red. It’s hard to tell which of the two is winning but it’s easy to conclude that they’re equals.

The attack came early during their trip to Japan. Alex, Supergirl, and the President have just arrived at the airport being welcomed by Japan-based Americans plus the media when this look-alike flies in and attacks Supergirl. She uses her heat vision to throw off Supergirl then quickly charges in and punches her. Supergirl was momentarily stunned before she was able to defend herself.

Alex, meanwhile, was busy protecting the President. With the help of the Secret Service, they were able to get her into a secure hiding spot. By the time Alex runs back to help Supergirl out, the look-alike was gone, leaving Supergirl looking up the general direction in the sky where her copycat disappeared to.

The look-alike didn’t seem intent on killing Supergirl. She was there to make an appearance, to introduce herself. For what reason? That’s something they’re still figuring out until now.

This was in the news not long after, making matters worse for Supergirl and the DEO.

Everyone in the world was wondering who the mysterious look-alike is, with some news stations even wondering if the US has the _real_ Supergirl and not some fake look-alike. ( _Is National City really safe?_ )

CatCo, per usual, gives her a name that sticks. They call her the _Red Daughter_. Nobody knows who she really is or where she’s from, or what she is. To this day, the world is still wondering about the mysterious Supergirl look-alike. ( _Is she a hero?_ )

However, the DEO didn’t have to wonder for long.

During the US President’s sit-down meeting with President Pavlov, he hinted on a new military weapon that can destroy Supergirl. Alex put everything together in her head and concluded that the Supergirl look-alike _is_ their secret weapon.

To be honest, Alex didn’t think President Pavlov was trying to hide it. He knew they will pick it up right away but what Alex couldn’t believe was the gall to threaten the United States with waging a war if the government doesn’t agree on alleviating some of the country’s stricter laws against alien and nuclear weapons research.

To her credit, President Marsdin didn’t show any sign of fear. She held her ground. She calmly stood up and kept her eyes trained on President Pavlov.

_I’m sure you know this about us, President Pavlov. We do not negotiate with terrorists. You want access to my country’s research, you’re not going to get it by threatening me with your newfound weapon. If you wanted to attack, you would’ve attacked by now._

That’s when it made sense to Alex.

Pavlov doesn’t have enough access to any knowledge about _this weapon_ they have. Further exchanges between the two world leaders lead Alex to the conclusion that whatever—whoever—this is, it’s Kryptonian. It means President Marsdin has the upper hand.

Everything the world knows about Krypton is stored deep into the most secure database in the world: the DEO.

Deep down, Alex knows it’s only a matter of time before Pavlov learns how to use the _Red Daughter_ for his agenda but it buys them time to figure it out.

“We got new intel about a mysterious crash a few months ago, about the same time frame when things with Reign ended here,” Lt. Green walks up to her, handing her a military-grade tablet.

Alex takes it and reads a report from their CI in Siberia.

“You think it’s somehow connected?” she asks.

Lt. Green shakes his head tentatively, “There’s not enough intel to come close to a conclusion but we’ll keep digging.”

Alex was about to give orders when Supergirl comes flying in and lands smoothly right in the middle of the war room.

“I remembered something,” she announces.

They all turn to her.

“What?”

“Her eyes,” Supergirl says. “They have specks of red.”

“What?” Alex asks, confused.

Like on auto-pilot, Brainy walks to his desk and starts scanning their database for whatever information he can get. After a few seconds, he starts talking, “That’s useful information, Supergirl. Before this day, we thought she’s somehow your duplicate—an exact copy, like a factory-manufactured version of you but this new information reveals she’s not.”

“How?” Supergirl inquires.

“When you recalled your fateful battle, you mentioned that she shares the exact same abilities as you. You’re equally fast, equally strong, equally—”

“We get it,” Alex interrupts.

“—right,” Brainy nods, “These things lead us to believe that the Red Daughter is somehow your carbon copy. But the red specks in her eyes—that only concludes one thing. You’re not the same.”

There’s only silence in the room, a sign that Brainy takes to continue.

“You see, you look and function just like any human on this Earth; except the yellow sun gives you these extraordinary abilities that regular humans don’t have. The yellow sun exposes a Kryptonian and other entities from Krypton—”

“Including the red ring,” it’s Supergirl who interrupts this time, realization dawning on her.

Alex sighs, “So, she’s you. With the red ring.” A beat. “You’re just remembering this now?”

Supergirl’s eyes widen accusingly at Alex, “It’s hard to process things when your doppelganger is standing right in front of you.”

“So this gets us somewhere, how?” Lt. Green asks.

“Now, we ask Alura,” Alex responds.

Supergirl lets out a breath, “Brainy, connect me to Argo City.”

“Let’s go,” the AI nods.

Brainy and Supergirl head to Communications, leaving Alex and Lt. Green standing in the middle of the war room with the images of the Red Daughter staring right back at them. They got a break but they’re still so far from figuring out how strong this entity is.

 Alex sighs, “Green, I need you to look into the alien gang activity that started around the time we got rid of Reign. Find me something, anything.”

It was a vague order, Alex knows but she knows Lt. Green will find something.

“Do you think there’s a connection?”

“The first alien gang war that happened after Reign were started by the small gang that originated in Russia. It’s too specific to be a coincidence.”

Lt. Green nods, a look on his face tells Alex he’s puzzled too, “I’ll look into it.”

He was about to exit the room when he turns to her, “Alex, the talent show.”

“What?” she asks, confused. It takes her a second before she realizes, “Shit.”

_The talent show._

She quickly glances at her watch.

“Shit,” she mutters, again. “How did you—”

“Sam told me to remind you,” he chuckles. “She said it will probably slip your mind with all your _alien work_.”

Despite everything, Alex laughs, “Alien work.”

“Go, Alex,” he encourages, “There’s nothing you can do here that we haven’t covered yet.”

She nods, rolling her eyes, “I was always going.”

Lt. Green smiles, “Ruby’s gonna be happy to see you there.”

“No! She got you too?”

The lieutenant laughs, “The kid is charming. She gets that from Sam.”

He smiles, like really smiles, before he walks off.

Alex stands there, completely weirded out by the way his demeanor completely changed at the mention of Sam. Suddenly, there’s this unfamiliar feeling that creeps up her stomach. She arches an eyebrow as she watches the guy walk out of the room.

_Huh._

.

By the time she pulls over by the school parking lot, the place is already packed. Parents and kids are all walking toward the school, getting ready for this annual talent show.

As she turns the truck’s engine off, her phone buzzes. A message from Sam.

**_I’m at the entrance, I got you a soda. And a popcorn._ **

She smiles, typing a reply.

**_Just pulled over. Coming._ **

She pockets her phone and hops off the car.

As she walks toward the entrance, knowing the place now by heart, she realizes that this is not the first time she’s attending Ruby’s school function. See, it was easier to explain this when Sam was on sabbatical.

Sam wasn’t there and somebody had to take Ruby to all those school functions.

Now, Sam is back. There’s literally no reason for Alex to be there except that she really wants to—and she couldn’t imagine _not_ being there.

(Which also probably tells her this is not _processing_.)

(It’s not.)

.

“What do you mean she hasn’t shown you both what she’s doing yet?” Lena asks, an eyebrow quirked, looking at Sam and Alex quizzically.

They’re sitting by the third row, an empty seat reserved next to Lena. Kara is running late. (Conference call.) The room is filling out quickly with parents and students, buzzing in hushed excitement.

Sam shrugs, “She wanted it to be a surprise.”

“For the both of you?”

It’s Alex’s turn to shrug, “I don’t know.”

Lena lets out a knowing smile, as she turns her attention to the stage, “Oh, it’s gonna be amazing.”

Both Alex and Sam turn to her, Sam’s eyes extra wide, “You know what she’s doing?”

“You?” Alex reiterates, totally not over the fact the Lena— _Lena!_ —knows.

Lena snaps a look at Alex, faux-offended, “Excuse me, I’m her godmother.”

“You’re not,” Sam laughs.

“Well, I just promoted myself to godmother.”

“Wait—” Alex just can’t get over it. “You know what she’s performing?”

“Oh, don’t be so bitter, Alex,” Lena smiles, smug. “We rehearsed it yesterday when Sam was so busy with meetings.”

Sam gasps quietly at the realization, “She said she wanted to do her science homework with you.”

Lena wiggles an eyebrow, “She’s sneaky. She sent me a text message the other day, wanted to book an appointment with me to rehearse. I cleared my afternoon yesterday.”

“I thought you were at the lab.”

“Oh, we were.”

“I can’t believe it,” Sam says, amused.

“Me neither.”

Lena doesn’t say anything but Alex notices the smile on her face. There’s something there. Alex can’t quite tell what it is.

.

The talent show kicks off after a few minutes.

At some point during the second performance, Kara arrives. They exchange quick updates before they turn their attention back to the stage.

_Anything significant?_

_Nothing urgent. I’ll tell you later._

Four students perform before Ruby was called up on stage.

Mr. Hall, a middle-aged man who Alex knows because of that one PTA meeting she had to attend while Sam was away, announces, “Now, a spoken word poetry from 7th Grade student, Ruby Arias.”

The room buzzes with applause as Ruby ascends the stage from the back. Instantly, the kid scans the room until she spots where they are and gives them a small wave.

They all wave at her with smiles on their faces.

Somebody carries a microphone on a stand and puts it in the middle-front of the stage where Ruby is waiting. Ruby takes a few moments to adjust the microphone, so it fits her height better.

Alex didn’t understand these things before. Why would anybody be nervous about a small-town talent show? There’s no real risk here. It’s a school talent show. It didn’t seem to matter in the grand scale of the world. But sitting here right now, she feels quite nervous. Ruby is up there beaming proudly, eyes shining with a confidence she has not seen on the kid before. Alex’s heart swells with pride.

She turns to Lena and Kara who are on her left, both with their phones out, recording the whole thing. She then turns to Sam, eyes shining with unshed tears. She’s smiling, her pride and joy up on the stage.

Sam might have felt Alex’s eyes on her so she turns to her, their eyes meeting for the briefest of seconds before they turn their attention back to the stage.

Ruby clears her throat.

Alex feels Sam’s hand on hers, pulling it to her so their hands rest on her lap. Alex’s heart skips a beat.

Somewhere, a yellow light flashes rapidly at her; again telling her to slow down, reminding her that she’s supposed to be processing.

Alex swallows an invisible lump in her throat. She laces their fingers together, clasping Sam’s hand.

(I’m here.)

Sam clasps her hand back.

(I’m not gonna let go.)

.

Ruby starts.

_I only have one childhood memory that I haven’t buried_  
below the happier moments that I’ve gotten these last few years.  
I was five and a half, hair golden with rust I got from being out in the sun for days too long.

_The radio, surely older than me, was playing a song that somehow sounded familiar.  
It asked me, all skin and bones, “Do you know what love feels like?”_

_Do I know what love feels like?_

Alex feels her breath hitch.

She imagines Ruby—small and innocent Ruby—in that shelter, listening to the radio, already surviving things kids her age shouldn’t ever go through.

She turns to Sam and is stunned by the way she composes herself. Her lips are trembling with emotions she’s trying not to fully express. But her resolve is intact, like she doesn’t know how to completely fall apart. Like she’s used to weathering storms.

_I’m probably too young but I think love is_  
  
Sitting at the back of your mother’s car  
As she hums to a song you’ve heard too many times  
But you sing anyway  
Because it’s her concert and she knows all the words  
  
Falling asleep reading the only book you own  
Because it’s familiar  
It’s safe  
And nothing in this world will hurt you

Ruby looks around until her gaze falls on Sam. It makes Alex look at woman who has unshed tears in her eyes. In that moment, Alex feels herself fall further. To whatever hell hole she’s falling into—it’s probably too late to climb back up.

_I’m probably too young but I think love is_

_Coming home again and again_  
When you had the option not to  
When it was easier to give up  
When leaving would’ve been the logical choice

_Waking up in the morning to cook pancakes_  
When you had two hours of sleep  
When it was easier not to  
When not waking up would’ve been the logical choice

Alex imagines these scenes in her head—Sam and Ruby against the world. It makes her smile. It makes her feel how badly she wants to be there; to cook pancakes with Sam; to be the one she comes home to every night.

_I’m probably too young but I think love is_

_Being there_  
When you don’t need to  
When it’s easier to stay away  
When walking out would’ve been the logical choice

_Showing up_  
Because you want to  
Because there’s no place you’d rather be  
Because it’s the only choice

_I think love is_

_Finding each other’s eyes across the room when it’s a party_  
And you’re talking to other people and somehow  
You catch their eyes and you just know:  
This person is your person

_I think love is_

_Something you run to and not away from_  
Something you fight for  
Something that knocks the air out of your lungs  
Something you hold with both of your hands

Alex feels tears stream down her cheeks. She looks down at their hands, still on Sam’s lap, gripping onto each other.

_I’m probably too young  
But if you ask me if I know what love feels like_

Ruby nods, smiling through her unshed tears.

_I’d say I know_

The kid finds her mom’s eyes again. She holds their gaze for a moment before Ruby turns to Alex.

_I know because I see it everyday._

Ruby bows to the crowd.

There’s a beat before Mrs. Holland, Ruby’s homeroom adviser, stands up from her front-row seat and claps her hands. Everyone else follows suit. After the initial shock has worn off, everyone is on their feet at once, applause echoing inside the small auditorium.

Lena is standing, beaming proudly at Ruby. She’s wiping at her tears, laughing lightly at Kara who is practically sobbing at this point. Sam is smiling through her tears as she stands along with everyone else, letting go of Alex’s hand to clap for Ruby.

Alex stands closer to her, wrapping an arm around the taller woman’s waist. By habit, Sam leans her head on Alex’s shoulder. They both stare at Ruby in awe.

This is why they both miss the way Lena nudges lightly at Kara’s side, willing her to glance at the two. She misses the way Kara’s eyes go wide seeing them in this state. She misses the way her sister smiles an all-knowing smile.

They also miss it when Lena snaps a photo of them.

( _For future reference._ Lena tells Kara.)

(The blonde merely laughs. _Send it to me._ )

.

Despite that, Ruby only places second.

There’s this kid who did who did a full Disney song-and-dance number and no one, not even Ruby, contested that win. Well, no one, except maybe for Lena.

( _I want to talk to the school board. Nobody robs my goddaughter like that._

_Lena, she’s not your goddaughter._

_I promoted myself earlier.)_

So now they’re all standing by the auditorium lobby, just talking about Ruby’s performance, when the kid walks up to them.

Sam gives her a hug, tells her she’s proud of her.

( _Winning isn’t everything, honey. If you’re proud of what you did and know in your heart that you gave it your best, then you still win._ )

Alex high-fives her and asks her if she wrote it herself. The kid nods and tells them she got a little bit of help from Lena.

They all turn to the CEO, impressed.

The CEO beams, “I read poetry.”

Sam raises an eyebrow.

Lena rolls her eyes, “Fine, I watched spoken word performances on YouTube after she told me she needed my help. I wasn’t going to do it without any background. I like the words, too.”

Kara chuckles, “The words?”

“How else would do you call it?”

They all just roll their eyes good-naturedly at Lena’s antics.

They spend a few moments with Ruby talking about her performance before the middle schooler sees a classmate in the crowd. She tugs at Kara’s hand and tells her she wants to introduce her to said classmate—to which Kara can only nod to, allowing Ruby to drag her gently through the crowd. Sam follows them because, well, she’s her mother.

“Kiara Jefferson, that’s Ruby’s bestfriend,” Alex recites, almost absent-mindedly. “She wants to be a journalist.”

“You realize that you know everyone here, right?” Lena asks.

Alex looks at the other woman and sees her already looking at her. She can’t describe the way Lena is looking at her. If she doesn’t know her, she’d probably be intimidated.

“I took Ruby to school for months—”

“—and you still do.”

Alex only shrugs, deciding to end this conversation now because it’s dangerous where it’s headed.

They stay quiet for a few moments. Alex munches on what’s left of her popcorn and Lena sips soda from a paper cup that now looks too cheap because Lena is Lena (and she’s wearing a two-thousand-dollar Versace dress tonight, but nobody needs to know that.)

Both women quietly watch the trio as they talk to Kiara’s family. They’re laughing and having fun. Faintly, Alex could hear Kiara’s parents praising Ruby for her performance.

“You should tell her,” Lena says quietly from out of nowhere, without any context whatsoever.

Alex turns to the other woman. This time, Lena seems more serious; like she’s telling Alex something so important to her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Alex tries. Somehow, she knows it’s a futile attempt but she tries anyway. Shoot for the stars, right?

It’s quiet again for a few seconds, mild chatter of the crowd around them tentatively filling spaces in their silence.

“She doesn’t know,” Lena mutters. She doesn’t look at Alex but merely stares in the general direction of where Sam, Ruby, and Kara are.

“What?”

“She doesn’t recognize it.”

“I—”

“Love.”

This is where Alex grows quiet.

Lena smiles in this bittersweet way, “God bless her but Sam, she,” a pause, “she doesn’t recognize it when somebody shows her love. She doesn’t have any reference to it.”

It breaks Alex’s heart so much that she releases a heavy sigh.

“At least _I_ had my mother,” the CEO smiles bitterly to herself. “She had a peculiar way of showing it but to some degree, it still qualifies as love. Sam has been just Sam all her life until it was Sam and Ruby—and that’s the only thing she’s certain of.” Lena turns to meet her eyes, “You could play house with her until you die and she’d still end up saying you’re such a good friend when she delivers a eulogy.”

Alex doesn’t know what to say so she doesn’t.

“I tell her everyday without fail that I love her,” Lena continues when Alex wouldn’t say anything. “It took her some time to believe that and I assumed that she had severe trust issues because of everything she went through. But that’s not it.” Lena takes a small sip from her drink, “She didn’t believe she was somebody anybody could love.”

“What?” Alex manages. “That’s—” _Ridiculous. Unacceptable._

“Everyone that could’ve possibly taught her how love looks like or feels like—they all walked out on her. Her father, her mom, Ruby’s father. It has been a one-way door all her life. That’s a trauma you don’t grow out of.”

“You care about her a lot.”

Lena smiles, “For her first few months at the job, I didn’t leave the office until I know she has gone home. I made sure I left my office light on or told her I was at the lab. She didn’t need my help, not in any way. That woman is beast—” she chuckles, “But I didn’t want her to feel like she’s on her own.”

“You barely knew her.”

“I’m a good—great—judge of people,” Lena releases a breath. “With people like Sam, you go all in. Actions, words, everything in between. You seem to be that kind of person, Alex.”

Alex lets out a nervous laugh, “I—”

“You don’t owe me a response,” Lena tells her. “I’m just saying. If you’re looking for sign, I could make calls and put one up in the biggest billboard down at University Avenue by end of business tomorrow.”

The agent laughs, so does Lena.

There’s a lot of things Alex wants to say but no words come out of her mouth. So she stays quiet, just looking at the very woman they were just talking about.

From across the room, in the middle of their socials with the Jeffersons, Sam looks around and finds Alex’s eyes. Alex can’t help the smile that draws from her lips and Sam smiles back, their eyes lingering on each other for a few quiet moments.

Ruby’s poem echoes in her head.

_I think love is / Finding each other’s eyes across the room when it’s a party / And you’re talking to other people and somehow / You catch their eyes and you just know_

Lena clears her throat, effectively distracting Alex from her thoughts, “Call me if you need a sign. I’d even let you choose the font.”

Alex laughs, “Shut up, Lena.”

Deep down, Alex wonders if Sam could hear the poem, too.

.

They spend the rest of the night at Lena’s.

In this simple, totally non-elegant, totally homey way, Lena prepared dinner for everyone. Of course, it was her chef who did all the work but nobody is complaining. She has a chef, okay?

J’onn, James, Brainy, and Lt. Green arrive at the dinner, too. Kara was quick to show everyone the video of Ruby’s performance and everyone is proud and supportive—and Alex knows that Sam is grateful for their version of family. It may not be blood but that doesn’t make it less real.

As they wait for the food to be served, Alex starts with a bottle of beer as she sits by the kitchen bar. From her seat, she could see the rest of the living room which is probably the size of her entire apartment.

Lena’s _apartment—_ as she requests everyone to call it—is actually a penthouse, situated at the top of one of the most, if not the most, exclusive building in all of National City. All four walls of the _apartment_ are made of glass with its interior in full black-and-white fashion, symmetrical and so, so pleasing to the eyes.

She doesn’t have a lot of furniture around but her home’s elegance is in the design, that minimalist-but-totally-expensive look that Alex only sees on interior design magazines. The living room is simple enough: black-and-white seats and pillows, a carpet, a fireplace, a huge-ass TV, and a hidden surround-sound audio system so fancy that when you connect your phone to the Bluetooth and play music, it almost feels like you’re in a theater.

“You’re awfully quiet,” she hears Kara say as the girl approaches her just after she successfully pulled herself from the living room chaos that is a winding game of _Life_ among Ruby, Sam, James, J’onn, and Danny (he insists that everyone calls her Danny for non-DEO functions). Lena is somewhere in the kitchen, making sure everything is being done right.

“No, I’m not. They’re just noisy.”

“That they are,” Kara nods, “But you’re also quiet. I notice things.”

“I’m fine.”

“Mhhmm.”

Alex shoots her sister a glare, “What?”

Kara shrugs, “Nothing, I just know you. Something is on your mind.”

“I’ll talk when I’m ready.”

“I know,” the blonde smiles and places a small kiss on Alex’s temple. “I’m gonna go find Lena.”

“At the back.”

Kara just nods with a mischievous smile. Before walking toward the back of the room, she pats Alex’s shoulder. See, when Kara pats you on the shoulder—

“Ow! That actually hurt!”

Kara laughs, “That’ll shake you up.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” again with that knowing smile. Kara stops by the door leading up to the kitchen and turns to Alex, “You’re not subtle. Like, at all.”

“Find Lena.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Go away, Kara.”

Does Kara know? Did Lena tell her? Does Lena even know? Alex didn’t even say anything to validate her _suspicions_.

Kara laughs before she completely disappears, off to find Lena.

Alex chugs her beer, keeping her eyes trained on Sam. The gang is losing to Sam because she is competitive and strategic as hell. She calls herself the _Queen of Life_. “I warned you all! Never cross Samantha Arias in _Life_ ,” she yells to the group with a laugh.

It earns her a collective groan from everyone being destroyed in the game. Sam looks at her briefly and smiles before she starts just teasing everyone. Alex never joins that game when Sam is in it because her ego can’t handle losing that often _on a board game_.

From her seat, Alex just observes. She doesn’t miss the way Danny is sitting next to Sam. She doesn’t miss the way Ruby is comfortably snuggled by his side, occasionally trying to ruin the game for him. He just laughs with the two girls like he’s having so much fun and something about the scene makes Alex down the rest of her drink in one go.

_Huh_.

.

The rest of the night goes by with Alex just nursing one bottle of beer to the next. That weird sensation in her stomach gets worse everytime she sees Sam and Danny, all chummy with each other. Even Ruby seems to like the guy so much.

It doesn’t help that she feels like Lena and Kara are watching her like a hawk. There’s also J’onn who looks at her like he wants to speak to her. It’s been a while since she’s been _this_ drunk in front of them and perhaps, that’s where the worried glances are coming from.

By the time the gathering winds down, Alex is officially too drunk to drive. They’re sitting by the living room, the conversation coming to a close, when everyone starts to get up and preps to leave. Ruby has fallen asleep on one of the couches just next to Danny—who is careful with getting up, not wanting to wake Ruby from her stupor.

“Hey, Al. Are you okay?” Sam approaches her, a glass of water ready on one hand. Her other hand finds the small of Alex’s back and Alex just flinches from the touch, the habit of self-preservation kicking in.

Sam draws her hand quickly from Alex, a mix of shock and hurt etches on her face.

“I’ll drive you home,” she offers. No, that was more of a statement than an offer.

Everyone seems to just move around them blindly as if avoiding this tension.

“I’ll just stay here. Just go home, Sam.”

“You’ve been dodging me all night. Did I do something wrong?”

Alex only laughs bitterly, not even planning to answer the question. “I call dibs on the couch,” she says instead.

“I have four guest rooms, Alex. Please,” Lena interjects somewhere amid everybody’s silent movements.

“Lena, honestly,” Sam scolds, giving Lena that glare she has mastered so well.

Kara appears next to Alex, grabbing one arm and putting it around her shoulders. She helps Alex up as the agent wobbles in her attempt to stand. “It’s been hell at work. I’ll just stay here with her,” even without the cape, Kara still tries to save the day.

“Drive my truck, Sam,” she says. Even Alex is surprised at how sober she still sounds. “Don’t take a cab.”

“I’ll drive them home,” Danny offers, shrugging nonchalantly.

Alex chuckles bitterly, loud and clear. With the glare that Alex sends him, _God_ help him. “Of course,” Alex nods, a drunken half-smile appears on her face. At this point, even Kara is terrified of Alex. “Not all heroes wear capes, right?”

Everyone is just watching the commotion.

Sam turns to Lena, “Can I just stay here? I’ll stay with Alex for a while. I can’t leave her like this.”

“You’re not responsible for me,” Alex says pointedly, pushing Kara’s arm off her shoulders. “I’m going upstairs.”

Alex gently pushes Kara out of the way. She wobbles as she tries to walk on her own. The room is spinning and she feels like passing out any time soon. This time, it’s Sam who tries to lend a hand.

“Come on—”

“What do you want from me, Sam?” Alex pulls her whole body back violently, away from the other woman. “What the fuck are you doing with me?” The loudness of her voice and the force she exerts peeling herself away from Sam are enough to surprise the brunette.

Sam stands there, frozen in her place. There’s hurt written all over her face.

“Alex.”

She hears Lena and she will _never_ mistake that warning tone. She looks around the room and sees the CEO, eyes focused on her, burning with protectiveness. It’s a look you see on somebody trying to protect one of their own.

“I’m taking her upstairs, in one of your four guest rooms,” Kara tells Lena. This time, Kara uses her strength to gently and slowly drag Alex away. Before they completely disappear, Kara turns to Sam and mouths, “I’m sorry.”

Alex is already sprawled on the bed when she realizes what she’s done.

_Shit._

She passes out quickly after.

.

It’s almost noon when Alex gets woken up by an already dressed-to-kill Lena.

“I usually don’t mind but something has come up at work and I know you’d hate it if I left without giving you a heads up,” Lena says as she pulls the curtains open, letting light from the outside slither into the room.

The windows in this room are big so the light basically blinds Alex.

“Ugh,” she groans, grabbing one pillow from under her head and uses it to shield her whole face.

“It’s your fault you feel that way,” Lena states as she walks across the room toward the door. “There’s breakfast ready downstairs. Kara has already left, something about a story she’s following. I’m headed to the office.”

“On a Saturday?”

“It’s not exactly a 9 to 5 weekday job,” the CEO stresses. Lena stops halfway out the door to turn and give Alex a look, like she’s trying to figure her out.

“What?” Alex asks, as she tries her best to sit up.

“Nothing,” she says as she completely disappears.

Alex only lets out a breath.

She looks out the window to her left and sees the wonderful view of the entire city. From up here, there’s not much noise; just a pure, unadulterated view of the city she’s been spending years trying to protect. From up here, it’s hard to believe anybody would cause this beautiful city harm. But as somebody who knows by experience how evil seeps in even through the tinniest cracks, the view loses its charm almost instantly.

Alex looks away from the window and quickly scans the room. She doesn’t remember how exactly she got here. She remembers vaguely how Kara brought her to the room but beyond that, she can’t remember anything else.

She searches for her phone next and finds it resting on the bedside table next to a bottle of water and a couple of Advils. Next to these is a handwritten note.

She goes for the note first and that’s when all memories from last night come crashing down on her.

_Hope you’re feeling better. Call me when you’ve sobered up. Drink a lot of water. Love you. – Sam_

There are two things that Alex feels in that moment and it goes like this, in order:

First, she feels guilt creep up her throat because she remembered how she pushed the woman away last night. She doesn’t know what exactly happened. (Maybe she does but she’s not gonna give that a name. Not yet.) But she knows that it was unfair to spring that up on Sam—sweet, thoughtful, graceful Sam—who only wants her to drink water and take some Advils; and just go back to the way they are. Like nothing happened.

Second, a specific kind of warmth washes over her—an overwhelming warmth because ‘ _Love you’_ and why did Sam have to sign it like that? Does she say that to everyone? Does she treat everyone like this?

You see, Maggie has told her stories about the straight girls she’d fallen in love with when she was younger. Those girls who call you _girlfriend._ Those girls who kiss you on the cheek quite randomly. Those who call you _babe_. Those who hold your hand like it’s nothing.

And _God_ , Alex was thankful she didn’t have to go through those. So this? All of _this_ isn’t fair! Is Sam one of those girls? Is she leading Alex on? Is she sending all these mixed signals on purpose or is Alex reading too much into it?

Alex is seething in frustration by the time she grabs the bottle of water and downs an Advil. Part of her is entirely frustrated but this stubborn and just utterly irrational part of Alex is a _slave_ to these feelings. There’s a reason there are songs about gay girls falling in love with straight women—and that’s because we are all somehow very specific with our choice of torture: wanting somebody we can’t have.

She grabs her phone but chooses to compose herself. What is she going to say about last night? _I’m sorry I’m such an asshole. I’m sorry I got drunk and mad and took it all out on you. I’m sorry I couldn’t take the sight of you with this guy and I just—_

Alex lets out a sigh as she scrolls through a bunch of messages from different people: Kara, James, and Danny.

She rolls her eyes. _God!_ The guy probably doesn’t even deserve this.

She reads Kara’s message first: **_You were an asshole last night. You might wanna call Sam._**

Then she opens James’ message: **_If you need somebody to talk to, I’m here._** Alex scoffs at this. If there’s any guy she would speak to about this, it’s going to be Winn—the poster child for unrequited love.

(Is that what we’re calling it now? Unrequited love?)

She goes for Danny’s message next: **_Hey, I hope we’re cool. Not sure what that was last night but you can talk to me._**

Why does everyone think she needs to talk? She doesn’t need to talk. She’s got this.

As she hops off the bed and goes for a shower, she buries that odd feeling of not seeing any message from Sam. Well, sure, she left a note but that hardly counts.

Sam texts her every morning. It’s just unusual, that’s all.

.

She leaves right after the shower and after she’d tidied up the guest room for a bit. It’s a big guest room so she really can’t do much except for make the bed and cleanup after herself in the bathroom. She decided against having breakfast at Lena’s and instead opted to go home. It’s her day off and with the events from last night, she’s just too embarrassed to hang out with anybody from that group including Sam. Perhaps, she could just sleep the rest of the day away.

Yeah, sleeping sounds good.

As Alex marches into her quiet apartment, she fees this strange feeling of emptiness around the house. Like there’s this huge void that needs to be filled and if this void has always been there, Alex is convinced she’d done a great job ignoring it.

She throws herself into the bed as she pulls her phone out from her pocket. She stares at it for a few seconds, contemplating if she should just call Sam. But what is she going to say? What exactly happened last night?

Was she jealous that Danny was sitting too close to Sam? Was she jealous seeing the guy be all up on that little family like he belongs there?

How do you even say that without sounding so marginally possessive? She doesn’t have any right or no business whatsoever to feel that way.

Alex lets out a sigh and decides to just bury her phone under her pillows. Calling Sam without any explanation in mind is just going to make things worse. She closes her eyes and it’s probably the effect of whatever amount of alcohol still lingering inside her body that she drifts off to sleep right away.

.

It’s a few hours later when she hears her phone ring.

With a groan, she fishes it out from under her pillows and—

Lena’s firm but slightly frantic voice will her mind to consciousness, “You finally picked up.”

Something in Lena’s tone sounds urgent and so important. It makes Alex perk up from her sleeping position, “What’s up?”

“Something happened. I’m at Sam’s.”

“Is she okay?”

“I don’t think so.”

Dread just creeps violently up her stomach and as she drives her bike to the suburbs, Alex is sure she’s never driven this fast before.

.

Alex pulls over Sam’s driveway about 30 minutes later. She’s sure she’s broken a few rules down the road but that doesn’t matter right now.

As she hops off her bike, she notices Lena’s Bentley parked next to Sam’s Cadillac and for a split second there, it truly sinks in how rich her two friends are; and also Sam’s driveway is really big.

She walks to the front door and was about to knock when the door swings open. In front of her is Lena, letting out a relieved sigh.

“Thank God,” she manages.

“What’s happening—” she stops mid-sentence when she spots Sam, sitting by the living room. Her hands are trembling as she rests them on her lap.  Her eyes are brimming with tears. She seems worried and anxious.

Alex is quick on her feet when she basically runs and sits next to Sam, one arm sliding around the taller woman’s shoulder while the other reaches out for Sam’s hand, a gentle touch to attempt to calm the woman down.

“Sam, what’s happening?” she asks.

Sam doesn’t say anything and only eyes a folded piece of paper resting on top of the coffee table. It’s Lena, calm and collected Lena, who tells Alex everything.

“She got that on the mail today,” Lena starts, sitting across the pair. Alex can sense her worry but she’s doing a good job hiding it. “No return address, no clues, no anything.”

Alex eyes the paper briefly before she reaches out and grabs it. She carefully unfolds the paper and soon reveals a short, typewritten note.

**I know who you are. The world is gonna know.**

“What does this—” Alex looks up at Lena.

The CEO grabs the envelope sitting next to the letter and pulls out a couple of photographs. She hands it to Alex. Seeing the photos, it all starts to make sense; and Alex feels an anger she has never felt before.

The photos are of Sam inside Lena’s lab during the time Reign has taken over her body. Sam is inside the containment area, forcefully throwing things around. There’s also one where she’s on the floor, just fresh from a rush of Kryptonite injected through her IV. Then there’s one where her eyes are fiery red, staring at Lena whose back is turned from the camera.

All the photos reveal one thing: Sam Arias _was_ Reign.

Alex didn’t need to think much to know how bad it will be if this information got out.

It’s a threat—a serious threat.

“Oh, Sam,” she manages. This time she wraps both of her arms around the woman and Sam just breaks down. Alex places a kiss on Sam’s temple and lets her lips linger there. She whispers, “I won’t let anybody do this to you, okay? You’re gonna be fine.”

_I’m here_ , she wants to say. That has got to be enough.

Sam buriers her head deeper into Alex’s chest and Lena had to stand up, feeling quite like she’s invading a moment.

“Ruby is at the penthouse. I had my security pick her up from her friend’s house today. I’ll make a call so they can drive her here.”

Alex only nods.

Lena gives her a look, “We have to plan what we’ll do from here.”

“Give me a minute to think.”

Lena nods and walks to the kitchen to make a call. There’s an understanding now between them. They are gonna figure this out. They are gonna protect Sam and Ruby with everything that they can. But to be honest, Alex feels like this is on her. Like, she should be the one to do this.

After a few moments, Sam looks up to her, “What am I going to do?”

Alex cradles Sam’s face with both of her hands, looking her in the eyes, “I’m here, okay? I’m not going to let anyone hurt you or Ruby. I promise.”

She kisses Sam’s forehead and instantly feels the woman relax to her touch.

“Alex, I’m scared.”

“I know. But we will catch this guy, okay? Trust me.”

Sam only nods as she wraps her arms around Alex, burying her head on Alex’s chest. Alex hears her sob and it makes the agent clutch her fists, knuckles turning white.

In her head, Alex plans her next move.

No one—no one will hurt Sam or Ruby. Not on her watch.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suck at poetry. Please don't judge. Sidenote: I cried writing Ruby's talent show piece. It was a horrible attempt. But still. Also, Frances Ha, anyone?
> 
> (I'm on Tumblr, you know: emilystarkk)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun has long set and though the day has just ended, Sam knows something big has just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a while to update this. But hey, here's an 8k worth of apologies from me. This is so far my favorite chapter in this fic. (Also, I'm sorry for the typos.)

.

_“Think of your happy place, Sam.”  
“I don’t have a happy place.”_

_._

**Midvale  
Three Months After Reign**

It happens on a Friday night.

She’d spent three whole months without a nightmare. She’s sleeping well. The medications are working. She’d felt at peace in this town. If you don’t count the monthly physical exams and the weekly visits to the therapist, it all feels… _normal_.

It’s like Reign didn’t even happen at all—which is probably the first sign that none of this is right.

Despite the peace, there’s a nagging thought at the back of Sam’s mind: what if her mind just hasn’t caught up with everything that happened? What if her whole body is just setting her up for the big breakdown?

This, turns out, is exactly what’s happening.

Exactly three months later, Sam’s whole body jolts awake. She’d been sleeping when the neighbor’s car alarm ring so loud that it sends Sam’s body to, first, complete shock and then to a trembling mess.

Her whole body is shaking, trembling in fear. She closes her eyes to calm the rapid beating of her heart but flashes of Reign’s attacks start invading her mind, like seeing them happen all over again. She feels it, the way she snaps somebody’s neck, the way she lifts a car without much effort and throwing it against a school bus full of high school students—her body feels a surge of electricity, of strength, of terror she can’t handle.

She screams; so loud that Eliza runs to her with concern and panic drawn all over her face. The woman tries to get closer to her but Sam, afraid to hurt the woman who’s been so kind, pushes her away, screaming at her.

“Get away from me!” Sam is crying, eyes wide in fear, heart threatening to jump out of her chest.

Deep down, Sam wishes her heart would just stop beating altogether—a complete, permanent stop. Maybe she doesn’t have to go through this anymore. If her heart stopped beating, she wouldn’t have to feel these things anymore.

She jumps out of the bed and runs past Eliza. She heads to the bathroom down the hall and shuts the door behind her.

She jumps into the bathtub and runs the shower until warm water hits her whole body, soaking her in a warmth that feels so foreign, so fake. Hands still shaking, Sam sits inside the tub, drawing her legs up to her chest and then resting her chin on her knees.

She’s scared to close her eyes, sure that the images will still be there. So much lives lost, so many people suffering. She tries to tell herself that it wasn’t her and yet, another part of her reminds her that her body was a vessel for something so evil—that Reign’s awakening wouldn’t have been possible if she was strong enough to fight it the first time.

There’s a knock on the door, briefly interrupting her thoughts.

“Sam,” Eliza’s voice fills the tense silence of the room. “I’m going to open the door and slide the phone in, okay? I’ve got Alex on the line.”

_Alex._

Somehow, hearing the Director’s name gives her a tentative sense of self. For a second there, she’s reminded that she isn’t Reign anymore. That Sam has won. That she defeated her with her own hands.

The door opens gently, making a low creaking sound.

Eliza walks in and gives Sam a sympathetic look. She must see what a mess this is and Sam doesn’t want to know what the woman thinks about her in this state—trembling, crying in the tub, fully clothed and soaked.

She looks up to this woman so much that Sam’s heart aches just thinking about how she’s going to explain. How do you explain the problem when the problem is you?

To her credit, Eliza doesn’t say anything. She puts the phone down by the edge of the tub and puts it on speaker. She gives Sam a small smile and then leaves, probably knowing that whatever is happening to Sam, it isn’t something she can fix. Sam doesn’t think it can be fixed.

Eliza leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

Sam just stares at the phone for a moment, part of her wishing that Alex is actually here instead. Alex has such a calming effect on her. Maybe because the agent has always been there even from way back when Reign was just a suspected brain tumor.

Thinking about it, a brain tumor would’ve been better.

“Sam,” she hears Alex’s voice echo from the other line, filling the gaps between the silence of the room and the sound of the shower still running with warm water.

Sam’s lips are trembling along with her hands, her body shivering not at the feeling of the water against her skin but with fear, anxiety, and perhaps a thousand other things she’s feeling but doesn’t have a word for.

“Sam, are you in the shower?”

Alex’s voice is familiar, comforting—like something that grounds Sam back to whatever land she was before this _incident_.

“Alex,” she says, voice trembling; tears streaming down her face somehow even harder than earlier.

“Sam, baby,” Alex manages. If she was in Alex’s position, she wouldn’t know what to say either.

What do you say to somebody who’s just starting to pay for almost destroying the city? For killing and hurting hundreds of people? For somehow staying alive and _getting a break_ when there are families who no longer have mothers and fathers because of her?

“Sam, listen to me okay?”

Sam nods even though Alex can’t see her.

“I need you to turn off the shower. Please, we don’t have to talk. I just need you to hear me properly.”

It takes Sam a couple of seconds before she does what Alex said. She reaches for the knob and shuts the shower off. The silence that follows feels like a mockery to the noise she keeps hearing in her head—people shouting for help, children screaming in fear.

“I’m here, Sam, okay?” Alex says once she hears that the shower isn’t running anymore.

“I should’ve died,” Sam says. “Alex, all those people—” she doesn’t have any more words beyond that so she just sobs. She sobs loud enough for Alex to hear.

“Sam, it wasn’t you. Had you been in control, you wouldn’t have done those things. The first thing you wanted to do when you discovered your powers was to become a hero, to do things Supergirl is doing. You’re good, Sam. Your heart is good.”

Sam listens, trying to use Alex’s voice to silence her demons.

She hears shuffling from the other line. Then she hears a door being shut. A couple of minutes, she hears a car beep. She wants to ask where Alex is going, probably a work thing. But she doesn’t have the strength to ask, refusing to interrupt the girl’s voice flowing through the speakerphone. Deep down, she wishes Alex were here.

When Sam doesn’t speak, Alex continues, “Sam, you’re alive. You made it. You defeated her and that has got to mean something. This world isn’t better with you gone. You think that maybe it would be easier for everyone to not continuously worry about Reign coming back but what about Ruby’s world, Sam? What about me?”

There’s a short, hesitant pause after that, as if Alex said something she didn’t intend to say.

“What about Lena, or Kara? We will all not be the same without you.”

With every bit of Alex’s words, Sam could feel the sincerity and the genuine care she feels for Sam. She doesn’t know what she did to have this woman in her life but God knows what would’ve happened if she wasn’t.

“I—I can’t breathe—”

“Is this physical or—”

Despite herself, Sam manages a smile, “I just—”

“Recite me a list.”

“What?”

“Or tell me a story?”

“What?”

“Anything, Sam. Baby, just talk to me.”

Sam thinks for a moment, ignoring the way her stomach reacts to the nickname.

It’s wild how, for a split second, Sam wonders how it would feel to be somebody Alex Danvers is in love with. Maggie crosses her mind—how she and Alex were on the few occasions she’d seen them together. The knowing smiles, the way they reached out to each other, the way their eyes sparkled.

Right there, Sam decides she wants somebody who can love her like that.

Just as the thought comes along, she dismisses it.

“I made a list,” Sam says.

“Yeah?”

“When I was in Lena’s lab, I made a list,” Sam starts. “I realized that there was a chance that I wouldn’t make it out alive so I made a list in my head of things I still want to feel before I die.”

Alex just hums, encouraging Sam to continue.

“You know that rush when you hit somebody with a bump car so hard their head shakes? Like a bobblehead?”

Sam hears a laugh from Alex’s side, and that laugh somehow drowns everything out. Suddenly, Sam feels her body slowly resurfacing from underwater, like she’d felt her feet paddle up once more to keep her fighting to stay alive.

“That’s on your list?” Alex asks. Sam could hear her smile.

“Yeah,” she nods, a teary smile forming on her lips. “Also that feeling when you hold your own baby for the first time?”

“You want to have a kid again?”

“Yeah,” Sam replies.

Alex releases a breath, “Ruby would be a great big sister.”

Sam smiles, “Yeah, she would be.” As her whole body starts to calm down, she continues, “I also want to feel butterflies in my stomach, that dizzy feeling you get when you kiss somebody and it’s so good? That strange, rare feeling of utter completeness?”

“Samantha Arias, a romantic,” it was a quip but there is something so warm in the way Alex says it.

Sam spends the next few minutes just reciting all the things she had in that list. Somewhere along the way, she calms down. Her heart rate normalizes and breathing becomes a lot easier. Alex’s voice on the other line, the way she laughs whenever Sam says something funny, has somehow managed to drown out that agonizing sound of pain and suffering. Somewhere amid this phone call, Sam finds a light at the end of the tunnel—as if Alex’s voice led her to a place where she can steady herself again.

They talk for two hours and a half. Sometime around hour one, Sam manages to slip out of her wet clothes and into a comfortable pair of sweats. She goes back to bed and tucks herself under the warmth of the blanket. She plugs her phone so its battery doesn’t die on them.

They only hang up on hour two and half when Sam starts dozing off, eyes droopy and voice raspy in sheer exhaustion.

The next morning, Sam wakes up with an arm wrapped around her waist, a warm body attached to her. For some reason, she didn’t need to look to know that it’s Alex. She doesn’t move and lets herself bask in the other woman’s presence on her bed. For a moment, she feels guilty for allowing herself to take advantage of this woman’s kindness. But it has been a while since she’d felt this safe around anybody.

Sam finds it odd how, in such a short time, Alex has become such an important presence in her life. Like how Alex has given her a safe space to fall apart, to not be together; a space where she can process all the bad things that happened to her.

So Sam just closes her eyes and wills herself back to sleep. She doesn’t question why Alex’s arm around her waist doesn’t feel foreign despite it being new. She takes Alex’s arm and pulls her closer to her. Maybe, this is wrong. Maybe, there’s something more behind this longing, this need to always have Alex around but this moment is hers.

For a change, she lets herself be.

.

“ _Think of your happy place, Sam.”  
Sam thinks about the beach._

.

**Present Day  
DEO Conference Room**

It’s the following morning after Sam received the letter.

They’re all huddled at this conference room for an hour now, discussing every possible scenario to come down to one or two suspects.

Alex barely got any sleep.

After Sam had gone to bed last night, Alex insisted on staying the night. She’d practiced a short excuse for it being late in the night to drive back home when in reality, she couldn’t stand the feeling of not being near Sam and Ruby when this mysterious letter-sender is still roaming free.

She’s used to being in control of situations, of knowing what to do or how to react, or what to do next. But this is new to her—not the stalker or mysterious letter threats, but the subject of the threats. Literally just a few days ago, she’d admitted to herself that she’s in love with this woman; and what terrible timing is this? To be in love with somebody and not be able to help them.

So she took the couch for the night and called everyone for a meeting at the DEO at 6AM. She knows they’re probably not as invested as she is in this _case_ but she expected them to show up.

They all did—Supergirl, J’onn, Lena, James, Brainy, and Danny. An hour later, they’re still no closer to any kind of answer.

“This can’t be a security issue,” Lena says, an eyebrow raised at Alex for suggesting that L-Corp might have been hacked.

“I’m just saying,” Alex huffs. “These images are from your lab—”

“—pictures that you asked copies of,” Lena interrupts. “When you asked for a full report, I turned over everything to you even if the government doesn’t have any legal rights to access our research.”

_Research._

_Sam is research._

Alex is pacing in the middle of the conference room while everyone else is sat down around the U-shaped table. Lena is sitting by left corner of the table, a large cup of coffee in front of her and the L-Corp tablet she uses as reference to look into access records into their database.

“There are only two people who have full authorization to these files—Samantha and I,” Lena states firmly. “These files are inaccessible outside the lab.”

Alex clenches her jaw.

Everyone can probably sense the tension.

Lt. Green clears his throat before he suggests, “Why don’t we start by looking at every person who went into the lab in the last six months? If these files are inaccessible elsewhere, then that narrows our search area.”

With a heavy sigh, Lena nods. She picks up her tablet and starts pulling out reports.

It’s Supergirl who speaks up next, “Director, what about the DEO? We can’t rule out the possibility that this may have been an inside job.”

Alex frowns and gives Supergirl a look.

“She’s right, Alex,” J’onn adds.

“Only you, Supergirl, and I have access to Sam’s files,” she tells the former director.

“It won’t hurt to double-check,” J’onn says and then turns to Brainy. “Look into the servers again, find something—anything—that can help us get to the bottom of this.”

Brainy nods. He then excuses himself and leaves the room.

Alex lets out a heavy sigh, running a hand through her hair. By now, it has become obvious to everyone how stressed Alex is about the situation. Sam is her friend; they get that.

“We need a plan to keep Sam and Ruby safe while we’re in the middle of the investigation.”

Alex nods, “We’ll have agents patrolling the house 24/7.”

“I think we should ask Sam first,” Supergirl says, concern written on her face. “I doubt she’d appreciate being under surveillance like that.”

Lena nods, “I agree with Supergirl. But I also don’t think leaving her without 24/7 security is on the table. I can have L-Corp Security assign some people on duty—doesn’t have to stand outside the house but even just within a safe distance.”

Alex shakes her head, frustration continues to settle in, “The DEO has protocols we follow in situations like this.”

“Protocols go out the window when it’s somebody close to you—even I know that,” Lena argues. This time the CEO is perked up on her seat, a look on her face tells everyone that she’s not backing down.

Sam is her bestfriend; Alex gets that.

“You can’t possibly think you can protect Sam when it’s you who—”

“Okay!” Supergirl interrupts her and it’s probably for the better because Alex is sure she was about to say something that could put her relationship with Lena in jeopardy. “Let’s take a break. Get some coffee or whatever.”

Supergirl and J’onn exchange looks, as if discussing who should talk to Alex. Supergirl just gives J’onn a nod. She’ll take this one. If it escalates, then J’onn would step in.

Everyone shuffles out of the room but Alex keeps pacing. She massages her temples with her fingers, trying to ease herself back to focus.

Supergirl approaches Alex, tentative footsteps padding across the carpeted floor.

“Lena is just trying to help, Alex,” she says, voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Alex nod. She stops pacing and then releases a heavy sigh. “I just—we need to fix this Kara. It’s Sam.”

Supergirl steps closer to Alex, putting both of her hands on Alex’s shoulders, “Alex—”

Alex looks up at Supergirl. She recognizes that pause. Kara does that when she’s about to ask Alex something big.

“What?”

“Don’t you think you should,” a pause, “Don’t you think you should sit this one out?”

“What?” Alex fumes. “Are you serious?”

Alex steps away from Supergirl, looking at her like she just said something so ridiculous.

“I’ve been on Sam’s case since the blackouts. I know this inside and out.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what exactly are you saying, Kara?”

“That you may be too close to this.”

 _Oh_.

This takes Alex aback. She opens her mouth to say something but no words come out. How do you respond to that?

Supergirl lets out a worried sigh, “You and Sam… you’re—”

“Friends, Kara,” Alex cuts her off, her tone warning and weary at the same time. Alex meets Kara’s eyes, begging her not to ask any more questions.

Supergirl somehow gets it. She nods and relaxes her shoulders, a physical sign of Kara _letting the topic go_. “Everyone’s on their way back but Alex?”

“What?” Alex asks, slightly annoyed. She hates how well Kara knows her.

“We’re here to help Sam, too, okay? We’re all trying to get to the bottom of this,” she tells Alex, to which Alex responds with a dismissive shake of her head. “You can talk to me, you know—about Sam.”

“Kara—”

“Alex, I see it—the way you look at her.”

That’s makes Alex’s breath hitch. It’s too much, just how much she feels for Sam. She wonders how she got here—one second, she wasn’t even aware of these feelings and the next, it’s like these feelings have taken over her; as if they’re begging to be addressed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Then, a weird thing happens.  Kara smiles.

A full, beaming smile appears on her sister’s face and it’s _almost_ creepy but Alex can sense the sincerity behind it.

See, Kara has a _contagious_ smile. Everytime she does this, Alex can’t help but be affected. It’s just like how medicines work and Alex thinks she needed this.

“What are you smiling about?”

“You and Sam—”

“What?”

“Alex, this is good.”

Something snaps inside Alex. In that moment, something changes.

She’s always thought of these feelings as something so bad, something so unfortunate. How awful is it to fall in love with your bestfriend? Because that’s what she and Sam are, right? Bestfriends.

Wow. She’s in a romcom and she didn’t even know it.

She’s treated these feelings like an unwelcome guest, always dismissing it, acting like it doesn’t exist at all. Yet, despite all the denial, here she is: trying to move heavens and earth just to make sure Sam and Ruby are safe.

Up until a few seconds ago when Kara suggested it, she never saw these feelings as a good thing.

She looks back up at her sister. Her sister is still beaming.

“You should tell her,” Supergirl says but before Alex could utter a response, the rest of the team shuffles back inside, one by one filling their seats.

Alex swallows an invisible lump in her throat.

A teasing smirk in place, Supergirl goes back to her seat. The meeting resumes but this time, Alex is in a better frame of mind. She lets Lt. Green take the lead in devising a security plan for Sam and Ruby.

They’d agreed on setting up security outside the perimeters of the house—far enough not to make Sam uncomfortable but close enough to detect threats that may come along. They’d also agreed on putting security cameras around the house. They’d have to talk to Sam about it but this is their safest bet.

Lena had taken on Sam’s security detail at the office, saying L-Corp security is more than capable to protect Sam when she’s on L-Corp duties. Alex merely nods, letting Lena do what she thinks is right for Sam.

As Lt. Green announces the end of the meeting, everyone starts to leave. Alex approaches Supergirl carefully, pulling her to the far end of the room to talk.

“Let’s grab a drink tomorrow night. We need to talk,” she tells her, voice hushed. Supergirl will hear.

“What about tonight?”

“I can’t.”

Supergirl gives her a look and Alex really, really hates the way she knows her sister is teasing her.

“Ruby has a game this afternoon, we’re having dinner after that.”

Supergirl nods, a knowing smile appears on her face, as if she’d just caught Alex. _Jesus Christ, Kara._

“Okay, Alex. Tomorrow, then.”

.

“ _Think of your happy place, Sam.”  
Sam thinks about the picnic grove down at Echelon._

_._

**LATER THAT DAY**

Sometimes, Sam wonders if the universe conspires to make one person miserable.

As she prepares to leave for Ruby’s soccer game, the thought plagues her mind. Last night was a lot. Knowing that there’s somebody out there who’s threatening to ruin her peace, it’s easy to think that she’s being punished. For what? She’s not sure.

However, despite the events of last night, Sam needed to go on. She can’t put her life on pause once again. Everytime her mind goes to certain dark places, she does what her therapist always tells her to do: she goes to her happy place.

It doesn’t always work. It doesn’t work more times that it does but she tries anyway.

“Ruby, hurry up!” she yells as she stands by the bottom of the stairs.

“Coming, Mom!” she hears Ruby yell back from her room.

Just as she hears Ruby’s footsteps padding down the hall, she hears a motorcycle pull up by her driveway. The smile that draws instantly on her face is almost automatic.

Sam walks to the door, anticipation bubbling at the pit of her stomach. As she pulls the door open, she immediately sees Alex making her way to the front door. It’s a relatively short distance but as she watches Alex make her way to her, it’s as if everything has slowed down.

A knot forms in Sam’s stomach. She doesn’t know what this means.

“Hey,” Alex voice pulls her from her thoughts. As if on autopilot, Alex places a kiss on Sam’s cheek.

Sam’s breath hitches for a second too long and that feeling on her stomach intensifies. She likes the feeling too much so she doesn’t say anything. She has questions nagging at the back of her mind.

_When did this become part of our routine?_

_How did this become a thing?_

She wants to ask, she really does—but she likes the feeling too much to ruin it.

“Hey,” Sam breathes, stepping aside to let Alex in.

Alex steps inside the house, instantly shrugging her leather jacket off. By habit, Sam grabs it and hangs it by the nearby rack. For a moment there, Sam wonders how long they’ve been dancing this way. It’s like she’s doing all of this without thinking.

“Is she ready?” Alex asks, eyes trained toward the general direction of the stairs.

“She’s been bouncing around the house all day,” Sam says, a small smile gracing her face.

Sam wonders if Alex could tell that she’s struggling to keep it together. Ruby doesn’t deserve a life as messy as this one. She has to go on like nothing is wrong. She’s already lost six months of Ruby this year. She’s not about to add more time to that because of one letter.

“I’ve dismissed the security detail for the day,” Alex tells her, as if reading Sam’s mind.

“Hmm?” Sam manages.

Alex nods, then gives Sam a reassuring smile, “I’m here.”

The agent doesn’t say anything beyond that but that’s alright. Alex is here. That’s all that matters.

Before they could fully recover from that moment, Ruby is basically skipping down the stairs already donning her away soccer uniform.

“Ah, there’s the superstar!” Alex cheers.

Ruby practically runs to Alex and gives her a hug.

“Did you practice all the moves I taught you?”

“Always!” Ruby responds, too pumped. “Come on! Let’s go outside, I’m going to show you a move I learned on YouTube!”

Sam just laughs and shakes her head. These two really get along well.

“Okay, I’m gonna grab the keys,” Sam mutters.

Ruby grabs Alex’s hand and basically drags the woman to the front lawn. She hears Alex let out a laugh before Sam moves around the house to get everything they need loaded up in the car.

As they make their way to the game, Sam can’t help but think that this normalcy is something she only imagined in her dreams. Having somebody to share these moments with, that’s not something Sam allowed herself to want.

Right now, as she sits in this Cadillac across Alex who’s driving—Sam allows herself to be _here_ ; to be someone who has somebody to share this moment with. Alex and Ruby sing along to a song on the radio, and Sam pulls her phone out to take a video.

If Reign comes back to collect, at least Sam has this video, like a proof that this is all real.

There’s a weird feeling at the pit of her stomach.

Is this how butterflies feel like?

.

“ _Think of your happy place, Sam.”  
Sam thinks about a long road trip._

.

**Midvale  
Five Months After Reign**

It’s easier to be alone now.

She hasn’t had an anxiety attack in weeks. Ruby and Alex’s bi-monthly visits have helped. In between these visits, Sam has started to connect to people again. For a while, she’d closed herself in. She stayed away from people thinking it’s best that way: the less people she engages with in this town, the less people she puts at risk _in case_ Reign comes back.

Eliza has been patient and persistent. She’d allowed Sam to go through the process—to grieve, to hurt, and then to come back from all of it. She’d left Sam alone when she needed to be but she always made it clear that she’s just in the other room, ready to be a shoulder to cry on.

But the best part about living with Eliza is how she never really let Sam’s thoughts wander too far. She never really let Sam go to certain dark places in her mind. She’s always there—not in an annoying, always-lingering way but she’s always _present_ whether she’s in the room with Sam or not.

They’d started going to grocery stores and interacting with people. Jake is the name of the cashier at the store they’d frequented. He has a two-year-old son who likes making paper planes. There’s Bob and Alicia, the couple who hosts a barbeque every other Wednesday. They’d invite the entire neighborhood for an afternoon of meals and drinking games.

Healing has been such a revelation. Eliza kept telling her that it’s somehow brutal—to try and heal away from the people you love the most. But it’s also brave to patch your wounds all on your own. Being away like this has helped Sam get to know herself a little more, a luxury that she never really got the chance to have.

Being here in Midvale gave her that opportunity, to know who Samantha Arias really is; to learn about her dreams.

“This is lame,” Alex comments, eyes trained on the television in front of her.

They’re halfway through their third movie and Alex is finally done with watching these lame slasher movies.

Sam is seated next to Alex on the couch while Ruby has already fallen asleep on one of the solo seats next to them. Alex’s head is on Sam’s shoulder, munching on a bowl of popcorn sitting on her lap. Sam has her arm around the other girl’s shoulder.

See, Sam knows how this looks like. Sam knows this could be confusing to anyone who doesn’t know that she and Alex are just really close friends who are both comfortable with cuddling during movie nights.

This has been a thing for so long now that Sam has stopped questioning it.

“Look at her, she’s not even watching anymore,” Alex says, raising a hand to gesture to Ruby’s sleeping form.

Sam chuckles, pulling her arm from around Alex and reaches out for the glass of wine resting on the coffee table. She takes a small sip.

A scene comes up where two characters go on a date in a shady place so naturally, that’s where the killer attacks.

“First of all,” Alex opens, perking up from her seat. “You can survive a stab like that.”

Sam actually laughs, “Okay, comforting.”

“No! I’m serious,” Alex says. “If the killer slashed her instead of stabbing her, she’d actually die but a stab like that? You still have like,” she thinks, “two hours to get help.”

“I’m actually thankful you didn’t turn out to be a psychopath? With everything you know, I’d be doomed if you turned out to be a serial killer.”

“What?” Alex mutters, eyes still trained on the TV, at times cringing at how some of the scenes were just so terribly done. After a particularly gory scene, she turns to Sam, “I’d be a good serial killer.”

Sam nods, lips quirking up in a teasing smile, “Yeah, that makes it scary. A charming serial killer who seduces women, takes them to their dream date, and then kills them.”

Alex breaks into a full smile, raising an eyebrow at Sam who looks like she doesn’t even realize what she just said.

“What?”

“I’m charming, huh?”

Thank God for the darkness of this living room because Sam is sure she’s blushing and she doesn’t need Alex to see that.

“That’s what you got from that?”

Alex laughs, grabbing the bowl of popcorn from her lap and puts it on the table. “You mean apart from the part where I’m good at seduction and taking women to their dream dates?”

 “I mean the killing part.”

“Oh,” Alex shrugs playfully. “Well, that’s bad.”

Sam just laughs before she turns her attention back to the tv. She tries to concentrate but she’s suddenly so hyperaware of the distance—or the lack thereof—between her and Alex. Sam’s heart is suddenly beating so fast—

“What’s your dream date?” Alex asks.

—and well, that doesn’t help at all.

“Huh?”

“I mean,” Alex grabs the remote and puts the movie on pause. She adjusts on her seat so she’s facing Sam. “You get one date where everything is perfect, how does that look like?”

Sam laughs, “What is this? A slumber party?”

Alex swats her arm gently, “Come on.”

“You first.”

“This is not a slumber party.”

“See? You can’t even answer your own question.”

Alex squints her eyes, “If I answer that, will you answer too?”

“Ugh,” Sam rolls her eyes.

“Come on, Arias, play along.”

Sam just shakes her head, trying to think of a perfect date. She tries to think of romantic things she’s seen on movies and TV but she just couldn’t think of something that she wants for herself.

Sensing that Sam is now finally taking the question seriously, Alex tells her own truth, “Mine’s a drive-in theater.”

“A what?”

“A drive-in theater,” Alex repeats. “You know, on a beautiful night, sitting on the bed of my pickup under the stars while watching a movie. Maybe some takeout? That’s okay with me.”

“You’re the romantic one.”

“What about you?”

“Mine’s boring.”

“Spill.”

“Just—” Sam swallows, “A quiet night at home, watching a movie with some wine?” Sam shrugs, “I mean, I don’t have a lot of quiet nights.”

Alex falls silent. She just stares at Sam while the brunette looks away. For a couple of seconds, they just sit there in silence. It’s not awkward but it’s tentative. Like they both need to say something or a special moment passes them by.

“I get it.”

“Yeah,” Sam says, a small smile appearing on her face. She grabs the remote and plays the movie again.

“Whoever you date, they’d be very lucky.”

“You too.”

Silence falls upon them once more. They put their attention back to the movie and for a while this distraction works but Sam just feels like it’s time to ask Alex something she’d always wanted to ask.

“What happened between you and Maggie?”

The question comes out so out of nowhere that Alex turns to Sam, “What?”

Startled, Sam is quick to recite her disclaimers, “I mean, you just seemed so perfect together, you know. If you don’t want to answer it’s fine—I just, I don’t think we talked about it and was curious, I guess.”

“We’ve not talked about it?”

Sam shrugs, “You don’t talk about yourself a lot.”

“You don’t talk about yourself a lot either,” Alex counters.

“Fair enough,” Sam manages a small smile.

A beat passes before Alex responds to Sam’s still-hanging question, “She didn’t want to have kids.”

“Oh,” is Sam’s immediate reaction.

Alex squirms on her seat, as if delaying having to talk about it. It doesn’t bother her that much anymore, talking about Maggie, but it still stings.

“Maggie and I, we were good together. I don’t think I’ve ever really seen a future with anybody but it was different with her,” Alex narrates. It amazes Sam how she could sense how much Alex felt about Maggie just in the way she talks about her. "There was a time when I was so convinced I could spend the rest of my life compromising but it—”

Sam puts a hand on Alex’s knee to comfort her. Alex takes that hand and squeezes it.

Alex continues, “The week before we broke up, it was Bring Your Kid to Work Day at the DEO. It’s like a joke—but seeing all the people I work with… those agents who go on the field and come back every time, they have these kids, their wives and their husbands. It just started to make sense to me why these people don’t lose their minds on a job like this. And after that, it just became so difficult for me to imagine a future where I don’t have that.”

“Do you ever regret it?”

“Sometimes,” Alex nods. “I don’t know—sometimes, I still think that maybe there was a way that I could’ve changed her mind but there was just no way to get out of that mess without anybody getting hurt.”

They settle for a comfortable silence after that, for a while just nursing their glass of wine.

As the movie reaches its ending with the credits rolling, Sam clears her throat, “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great mom.”

“Yeah?” Alex asks, asking for some sort of validation from Sam.

“Are you kidding? You’re amazing with Ruby.”

“Well, she’s a great kid.”

“The kid is only half of it. The rest, you still have to work for.”

Alex smiles, “Thanks.”

Sam lets out a heavy sigh, “Before we all decided to put me under the sunlamps, Lena and I had a talk. I had a list for her _in case_ I don’t make it out.”

Alex turns to Sam again, curiosity seeping in, “A list.”

Sam manages a small smile, “I’m a mother, Alex. I like to make plans ahead of time.”

Alex nods, convinced, “Makes sense.”

“I hope this doesn’t freak you out or anything but—” Sam releases a breath. “I told her I want Ruby to stay with you if you’d take her.”

Alex’s eyes widen, tears instantly welling in her eyes, “Sam—”

“I mean,” Sam stutters. “Ruby’s settled until college, if you know what I mean. You won’t have to worry about that at all. Not that I think you’re not capable of that, I’m sure you are. I just—”

“—Sam, you’re rambling,” Alex interrupts with a smile.

“I trust you with Ruby’s life,” Sam finishes, overwhelmed with emotions. “I left that day to help Supergirl knowing deep in my heart that Ruby will still have you and you’ll love her and take care of her. In a way, I was ready.”

“Sam…” Alex doesn’t have words for it. Tears stream down her face and Alex is quick to wipe it away with her hand. She lets a tearful laugh, “You’re making me cry.”

Sam lets out a laugh, “I’m sorry—”

“No—I,” a pause, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For not dying?” Alex lets out a deep breath. “I mean, I’d take Ruby in, no questions asked. But you’re you and this world is a lot better for me with you in it.”

“Aw,” Sam teases, laughingly wiping away the tears that managed to escape her eyes. “My God, we’re such saps.”

“To think the kid is right there,” Alex gestures again to Ruby, who’s still sound asleep. A thought crosses Alex’s mind, she laughs, “How did Lena take it?”

“Take what?”

“That you wanted Ruby with me instead of her.”

Sam chuckles, “Oh, she didn’t take it well. Pretty sure she would’ve killed me if I wasn’t already so close to dying.”

Alex laughs at this.

“She was so butthurt, it’s so funny,” Sam recalls. “But I think she understood eventually. Said I better come back alive or she’ll spend the rest of her life making you feel poor by spoiling Ruby even if she lives with you.”

Despite the history surrounding this story, Alex actually laughs, “I would actually believe that.”

They spend the rest of the night just talking about the ways Lena spoils Ruby and though the mood has gotten so much better, Sam’s heart remains warm.

It’s not just because of the things they talked about but at the thought that this night awfully feels like her dream date: wine and a movie on a quiet night.

She shrugs the thought just as quickly as it comes.

.

_“Think of your happy place, Sam.”  
Sam thinks about the L-Corp Lab._

.

**PRESENT DAY  
At a soccer field in the middle of the neighborhood**

“I can’t believe a day will come that I’ll bring my own chair to a soccer game,” Alex says, an amused smile plastered on her face.

Sam is chuckling beside her as they both setup the outdoor camping chairs that Sam brought—one for herself and one for Alex.

“I bet the soccer mom jokes never stop,” Sam says, rolling her eyes good-naturedly.

“I can’t joke about that anymore. Feels awfully like I’m one of you,” she retorts, gesturing her head to a couple of moms a few feet away from Sam.

Sam looks at them for a moment before turning her attention back to Alex, head shaking in pure dislike, “No. Those—” she points with her finger, trying her best to be subtle, “—those are the extreme, PTA, bake-sale moms.”

Alex nods, as if learning something new.

Sam the tilts her head on their far right. Alex chances a glance at the said direction and sees a couple of young moms, doing their best to keep a low profile.

“Those are the younger moms around here. Like the new-age, Instagram and Facebook moms who post long essays about their kids but you hardly see in games like this,” Sam tells her.

Alex actually laughs, “You are so judgmental.”

Sam then gestures her hand around the area where they are, “This area. This is the cool mom area.”

“Oh, really?”

Sam nods, pouting a bit, “Yeah. You just sit here beside me and be cool. You belong here.”

 _You belong here_.

It’s been a while since Alex felt like she truly belonged anywhere. If anybody told her a few years ago that she’d be here at the suburbs, watching a community soccer game, she’d probably laugh at the improbability of it but right now, Alex’s heart stammers against her chest because she can’t think of any reason not to be here—beside Sam, watching Ruby’s game.

Alex can’t help but feel like everything is in place.

A moment of utter completeness? This is probably what that feels like.

.

The game was toe to toe up until the very end. But on the last play, Ruby has the ball and she dodges two defenders before kicking it to Kelly Sullivan who catches iy perfectly for an open shot.

Both Sam and Alex are suddenly on their feet, screaming so loud along with the other moms around them.

“Oh my God!” Alex cheers.

“Yeah!” Sam practically yells, too pumped up.

They both don’t know how it happens but they just _gravitate_ to one another and all of a sudden, Sam’s arms are wrapped around Alex’s neck while the redhead’s arms are suddenly around the other woman’s waist.

The hug was quick but they both don’t miss the way these seemingly intimate things have started to become like a normal thing now. Both women don’t acknowledge it, both not really wanting to talk about it.

Alex turns back to the field, watching as the team celebrates the victory. Sam turns to the other moms in the audience, excitedly congratulating them and engaging in short conversations about going up against Oldmoor in the finals next week.

Ruby runs to them, all sweaty and happy and energetic. Sam and Alex welcome her both with a hug, equally as pumped.

“Mom, we won!” Ruby cheers, eyes searching her mom’s for any kind of validation.

“I know, baby! We all saw it! You’re so good!” Sam lauds, giving her daughter another one-armed hug.

“You are a superstar!” Alex tells the kid with a smile. “That move, that’s the one you showed me earlier.”

“I’ve been practicing it all week!”

“Yeah! It worked!” Alex pumps her up again, placing a kiss on top of the girl’s head.

Ruby turns to Sam, “Mom, the team’s going out for some pizza and ice cream at Rosa’s. Can we go?”

“Of course.”

“Can I ride with Kelly and her mom?” Ruby asks, bouncing on her feet.

“Go ahead, we’ll catch up to you at the pizza place,” Sam nods, a warm smile once again escaping her lips.

Alex is amazed at how Sam keeps it together. From an outsider’s perspective, it seems like nothing is wrong at all.

“Yay! Thanks, Mom!” Ruby then kisses her mom’s cheek and then turns to Alex to do the same. “See you later, Alex!”

“See you later, Champ.”

Ruby giggles before she runs back to catch up with the rest of the team who’re all headed to hit the showers.

“She adores you,” Sam mutters. She starts to pack up the stuff they brought in.

“I adore that kid, too,” Alex says.

They move around in silence, occasionally being interrupted by the other parents to congratulate them for the win. They’ve started with the chairs and then the small cooler that Sam brought in for their snacks and drinks.

They walk back to the car just talking about nothing and everything, and if you don’t count the events from last night, everything feels so normal. It even feels light.

They’re loading everything up in the compartment when a thought crosses Alex’s mind. She’s been thinking about this last night and has been meaning to ask but she never really got the courage to do so. She doesn’t know what changed just now but right now, she feels brave.

There’s a feeling at the pit of her stomach, something she can’t exactly describe.

“Sam,” she opens.

The other woman slows down on her movement, looking at Alex as if waiting for her to continue, “Hmmm?”

“I was thinking,” Alex swallows an invisible lump in her throat. “With everything that happened last night, I—”

This time, Sam completely stops moving, taking her attention away from the trunk of the car to Alex who seems so nervous. “Is everything okay?”

“No—” Alex mutters. “I mean, yes. I just thought it’d be a great idea but it’s okay if you’re not up for it—I just—”

“Alex, what is it?”

Alex sucks in a breath, “I was thinking I’d stay with you until the whole letter thing blows over.” It was out of her mouth before she can convince herself not to say it.

Sam’s eyes are wide in an instant. She’s not shocked or appalled or anything close to that. She seems genuinely touched.

“Alex…”

This moment, Alex thinks, is about to change it all.

“Sam, I don’t know, okay? I stepped back from the investigation because Kara suggested that I may be too close to you and Ruby to make fully rational decisions,” she narrates. “And I think she’s right.”

Sam is staring at her so intently, listening to her like her life depends on it.

Alex didn’t mean for it to sound _like_ a confession but this is the farthest Alex can go for now. That has got to be enough.

“I don’t know what that means,” she continues. “But I want to be there for you and for Ruby. I don’t know any other way.”

“Alex…”

“Sam, if you’re uncomfortable, I’ll understand, okay? Just know that I—” a breath, “I care. A lot.”

Alex is breathless by the time she finishes her speech. She could tell Sam is processing but there’s hope in the way Sam’s eyes sparkle against the faint lighting of this parking lot. Right there, Alex allows herself to hope.

It’s not something she does so regularly but this time, she breathes it in—that tiny, sliver of hope.

A few seconds pass, Sam finally says something, “Are you sure?”

The brunette ends her sentence with a smile and Alex can’t help but smile back.

“Yeah, I’ve packed my stuff.”

Sam chuckles, “Were you certain that I was going to say yes?”

“No,” Alex shifts on her feet, running a hand through her hair, “But I was hoping you will.”

Sam lets out a heavy breath, “Alex, you don’t have to do this.”

“I don’t,” Alex agrees, nodding tentatively. “I know the DEO agents assigned to protect you and Ruby are more than capable to do the job. I don’t have to do this but Sam, the thing is, I want to.”

You know how in movies, there’s this pivotal scene between the main characters where one says something so big and the theme song suddenly plays in the background? This is that moment.

There’s recognition in the way Sam’s eyes widen a bit—whatever line was starting to blur between their _relationship_ before, that line has been completely erased now.

“I don’t want to impose. You’ve done so much for me, for Ruby—it would be too much,” Sam utters the words but her eyes tell Alex otherwise.

Alex steps closer to Sam, her eyes never leaving the brunette’s, “Do you want me to stay with you?”

She leaves the ball on Sam’s park. This is not her decision to make. Alex’s mind has been made up since the thought crossed her mind last night. She’s not going anywhere.

Sam opens her mouth to say something but no words come out.

Alex starts to realize that this is Sam’s independence kicking in. She’s never asked anybody for help, always used to surviving things on her own; always used to keeping it together by herself.

The taller woman releases a nervous breath. She nervously fiddles with the collar of her shirt before she brings her hand up to tuck a her hair behind her ear. She looks down for a moment, her lip shaking a bit.

Then, she looks back at Alex.

In that moment, Sam feels something—something not entirely foreign but definitely something she’s realizing for the first time.

_Think of your happy place Sam._

Her therapist’s voice echoes in her head.

Sam thinks about the beach. It’s sunset and she’s laying by the sand, watching Ruby play by the water. There’s a figure next to her, seated by the sand, laughing along with Ruby.

Sam thinks about the picnic grove down at Echelon. It’s a fine, Saturday morning. There no clouds in sight so Ruby attempts to fly a kite. There’s somebody who’s helping Ruby fly the kite. They both frown when it gets stuck by a tree. But soon they find a number of ducks by pond so they focus on feeding them instead.

Sam thinks about a long road trip. Ruby is not with her this time. Sam is sitting by the passenger seat. There’s somebody else driving, their hands interlocked by the middle console. This person’s hand is warm against Sam. She doesn’t feel like ever letting go.

Sam thinks about the L-Corp Lab. On one of the worst days of her life when the sunlamps are the only thing keeping her alive, there’s a stranger seated next to her. This figure never left her side. Sam doesn’t remember a lot from the time she was so weak she couldn’t even lift her head to see but she knows the hand holding hers.

In that present moment at the parking lot, Sam realizes she has a happy place after all—except this happy place isn’t a place but a person. This figure didn’t have a face before, just a silhouette of somebody she’s sure she knows but never really figured it out. She can see clearly now.

It’s Alex.

In all those thoughts of a happy place, Alex is the person next to her. Alex’s hand is the one holding hers.

The beach six weeks after Reign, when Ruby and Alex visited so they could have a swim. The picnic grove down at Echelon, nine weeks into her sabbatical. The long road trip at 15 weeks, when Sam craved for a tasty burger and Alex knew just where to get one. The L-Corp lab, before the epic battle with Reign.

This is all Alex. And see, Sam never really allowed herself to _want_ anyone. She never really allowed herself to _dream_ of having somebody to share those moments with but she’s only now seeing that the last six months, she got that. She’s had somebody by her side the whole time.

All the things she never allowed herself to imagine, it all happened without her noticing.

This time, Sam wonders if the universe conspires for two people to be together.

So Sam asks the first question that pops, “This isn’t work for you, right? Right now, you’re not being the Director of the DEO, right?”

Alex pauses for a while, processing what Sam just asked her. She wonders briefly if Sam thinks that the last six months have been about _just work_ for Alex. It’s not.

It was never about work. So Alex replies, in the most honest way she knows, “It’s just Alex. It’s always been just Alex.”

Right there and then, Sam’s eyes sparkle of something—of hope, of a new beginning.

“Okay,” Sam nods, finally breaking into a smile.

“Okay?”

“Yeah.”

They pause for a few seconds, both reveling in this moment. In the future, when Sam thinks about a point when everything started to change, she’d look back at this moment. Sure, things have been changing for a while now but this seals it.

Sam steps into Alex’s personal space and slowly puts her arms around the smaller woman’s neck. As if by habit, Alex puts her arms around Sam’s waist. This time, both women know what this means.

Something has changed.

There’s so many things they need to talk about, some things they need to say, some questions they need to answer—but this moment is only here once.

Sam ducks her head a little, inching closer to Alex. She could feel Alex’s breath on hers. Alex tiptoes so she could meet Sam halfway. Just a little bit more distance to close—

And the kids are running out of the gym.

They pull away quickly not because they’re scared to be seen but more because the moment is probably ruined now.

As they drive to the team’s celebration, they have smiles on their faces. Hands interlocked, there’s two women driving down University Avenue with faint blushes on their cheeks.

The sun has long set and though the day has just ended, Sam knows something big has just begun.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any thoughts?
> 
> (Also, let's cry over agentreign's potential on Tumblr: emilystarkk)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm having real agentreign/danvarias withdrawals. we can cry together on tumblr: emilystarkk


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